Best. Gay. Week. Ever! More Hot Asian Men! Plus "Hawaii Five-0"'s Bromance and more!

PARDON ME, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN ANY GAY CHARACTERS? HOW ABOUT YOU? YOU? ANYONE?
I don't know who first dubbed the Television Critics Association Summer Tour the "Bataan Death March, but with cocktails" but it's a pretty apt description. Yep, it's that time of year as next week I fly off to Los Angeles to try and pry gay/bi secrets out of the actors, writers and so forth who bring us much of the TV we watch. 

First I put on something sexy, then I get them a little drunk, then I turn the music low. You know, your usual good investigative journalism tactics.

With that in mind, this week's column is again going to be a rather stream of consciousness as I'm not only getting ready to leave, but am also getting ready for our big relaunch next week. Talk about a full plate!

Part of getting ready for the TCA means watching a lot of pilots to see what might be of interest. Keep in mind, these are pilots I'm watching and the networks can change them pretty dramatically, even recasting some shows. 

Last night I watched CBS' reboot of Hawaii 5-0. After the first ten minutes, I dubbed it 24's Hawaiian Love Child because the only thing missing from Fox's "up against the clock thriller" was Jack Bauer getting emotionally and physically pummeled.

Hawaii Five-0 has a pretty terrific cast with Alex O'Loughlin, Scott Caan, Daniel Dae Kim, Jean Smart and Grace Park. It was also quite a bit better than I expected and after the first ten minutes of "bang, bang, you're dead and I'm the hot hero" it actually got around to developing the characters. 

The show also looks set to give us the best new bromance of the season as O'Loughlin and Caan not only bicker like a married couple, but have some real chemistry going on between them.

SCOTT CAAN: So if we stare into the distance like this, they'll really write slash fiction about us?
ALEX O'LOUGHLIN: You really have no idea what you're in for, do you?

Oh, and a certain Buffy/Torchwood baddie gets to play the bad guy again here. That's right — James Marsters is in the first episode! But unless he's got certain Captain Jack powers I'm not aware of, he won't be back. (His part is, sadly, so small that I'm not really giving anything away here.)

I also slogged through CBS' $#*!My Dad Says and since it comes from Max Mutchnick and David Kohan, I really wanted to like it especially since Tim Bagley (Larry on Will & Grace) has a small part in the first episode.

Um, moving on, CBS's Mike & Molly, with the wonderful Melissa McCarthy, wasn't great, but had a certain sweetness that bears watching. As for CBS' other two new offerings — Blue Bloods and The Defenders — I haven't yet been able to make myself sit through them.

As for NBC, the network that is supposedly being daring and innovative after The Jay Leno Show fiasco, well, unless daring and innovative have meanings I'm unaware of, not so much. The sitcom Outsouced — about a call center in India — wasn't just unfunny, it was insulting. AfterGandhi.com might have something not very nice to say about it.

Elsewhere on the Peacock Network, the very handsome Boris Kodjoe stars in J.J. Abrams' spy drama Undercovers or as I'm calling it, Underwhelmed.   

At least Boris is pretty to look at!

Now since NBC is trying to be innovative, you'd think the last thing they'd give us is another cop show or a legal drama, right? Wrong! The wildly clever titled drama Chase is about a team that tracks down fugitives while Jimmy Smits stars in Outlaw which is about a former Supreme Court justice who starts his own law firm. I haven't yet forced myself to watch either.

Next page! Could she do that on American television?