Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (July 25, 2008)

JEFF LEWIS GETS PERSONAL continued...
AE: At one point, Jenni needed a hug, and you bought her a massage. Why didn’t you just give her the hug?

JL: When a woman cries, it’s the most uncomfortable feeling for me. When anyone cries, it’s uncomfortable. I knew she needed that support, she needed someone to hug her and hold her. And I knew this was the kind of hug that was probably going to last about fifteen minutes. So it wasn’t even like the ten-second hug. It was going to be that long, really drawn-out hug, and I’m just really not equipped for that. I’m not the most nurturing person in the world.

AE: Who do you think understands you the best on the show?
JL: I think it’s a tie between Jenni and Ryan.

AE: How well do you think the show represents you?
JL: I think, especially this season, it’s a very accurate representation of me. I think this season shows all sides of me. Season one I was going through a lot of stress, and I was actually very scared with what was going on in the [housing] market, what was going to happen to my houses, what was going to happen to this business I spent so long building.

I went into this second season with a very different frame of mind. I was more me. You see the lighter sides of me, you see my sense of humor. Yes, you also see the occasionally stressed out Jeff Lewis, me flipping out. Ultimately I think it was a very fair representation.

AE: You’re known for repeatedly firing all your employees. Have you yourself ever been fired?
JL: Yes, I worked in a restaurant in college, and I wasn’t always so respectful of the clientele. I think I had about two mornings, and then I was let go. I don’t need to elaborate, right?

AE: Did you really think your housekeeper Zoila was going to like that painting of her? If that was of me, I’m not sure I would have liked it.
JL: When the audience saw it when we unwrapped it, it was the first time that I saw it as well. It wasn’t the most flattering representation. I did send it back to be retouched, and I’m very happy with the second round. She did get her day off, by the way. She didn’t get two days, but she got one, which I thought was a fair compromise.

Housekeeper Zoila from Flipping Out

Photo credit: Kelsey McNeal/Bravo

SWINGTOWN – It seems like there are only two kinds of scripted dramas these days: the pure fantasy, frothy Everwood or Gossip Girls type, where no one talks or acts remotely like anything in the real world (the correct term for these kind of dramas is “sh**ty”). But then there is another kind of scripted drama, where the characters and situations are still unlike anything I’ve ever seen in the real world, but where the show creates this larger-than-life, and much better lit alternate reality that may not be realistic, but that sure is entertaining. Eli Stone and Pushing Daisies are shows like this, and so is Swingtown. It ain’t Arthur Miller, but it sure is watchable. And — did I mention this before? — all the men are hot, hot, hot!

FLIPPING OUT – When Michael first started making me watch this show, I was all, “This guy’s fricking nuts! Do we really have to watch him throw a tantrum because the tile in the shower can’t be regrouted in a slightly different shade?” But then Jeff installed that hidden camera. Suddenly the show was no longer about the houses – it was about the characters. And it made for some of the most interesting reality programming ever. (Alas, Chris got fired, and then the show went back to being about picking window treatments. I'm not saying I delight in the misfortune of others, but drama is drama, after all.)

SHEAR GENIUS – No one cares! Just get to the episode where fellow Charlie’s Angels Kate Jackson is the guest judge! But where’s Farrah? Surely cancer is not more important than a Charlie’s Angels reunion!

MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST – Kathy, I love ya, but the episode in the Mexican school was cringe-inducing. You work best when the people you visit are either (a) in on the joke or (b) totally not in on the joke, which is its own joke. But the kids in that impoverished school were just confused by it all — and their situation was so unbelievably not funny, a fact you seemed to realize pretty quickly, but that left you with no comedy back-up plan. Building them a library was a good idea, but using it as fodder for Oprah jokes was not.

AS THE WORLD TURNS – I know, I know, what am I thinking? I’m giving the show an up arrow anyway. But Jake Silbermann, you owe me!

TORI AND DEAN: HOME SWEET HOLLYWOOD – I’m not sure I get the premise of this show: Tori Spelling has to struggle to make ends meet? I mean, okay, she only got $700,000 of her dad’s endless fortune, but she’s Tori Spelling. Didn’t she get, like, a $650,000 book advance? Doesn't she get paid for being on the show we're watching as they complain about being broke? Who cares if their bed-and-breakfast goes bust, and why are they starting a French fry business in the first place? Methinks they’re just creating drama for the show. Then again, a French fry business is more interesting than picking window treatments, which is what they did this week and which is what I guess all reality shows were about this week.

Okay, now I’m really missing Michael! The cat is nice, but he just doesn’t cut it for sixteen days. Come Back, Little Michael!

The Master of the One-Liner!