Best. Gay. Week. Ever! Who Deserves the "Gay" Emmy? Plus, Am I Part of a Conspiracy?

AND ACCORDING TO ME, THE WINNER IS!
Since every media outlet in existence including American Woodworker, Embalming & Burial and Prison Guard Weekly has already weighed in with their Emmy pics for this Sunday's award show, I thought I'd do something different. Like … take the week off. But the rest of the staff objected to that for some reason.

So instead , since this column is called the BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!, I thought it would be fun to look back to the dawn of time and name the gay shows, characters, actors, writers I think most deserving of, well, let's call them the Gay Emmys, or following the lead of Kathy Griffin, the Gemmys!

Here are the categories for which I'll be selecting winners as if these nominees were competing against each other for an Emmy: Best Drama Series, Best Comedy Series, Best Gay Actor Comedy, Best Gay Actor Drama, Best Writing Drama, Best Writing Comedy, Best Gay Character Comedy, and Best Gay Character Drama.

Please note, the nominees are for gay and bi men only! So while I love Modern Family, since the show was created and written mostly by straight men, it isn't eligible for a Gemmy for writing. And the gay men who are nominated for writing are for shows that have had substantial gay content during their run. So while David Crane wrote many funny episodes of Friends, I didn't consider him.

Also only shows that have aired in the U.S. are eligible and I'm including daytime and primetime in order to drive as many people as crazy as possible. (Hey, why should I be the only one bonkers?)

Please keep in mind these nominees and winners are just my opinion and as such is subjective though undoubtedly brilliant and certainly any randomly chosen group of chimpanzees would make the same picks.

Of course, feel free to name your own winners in the comments! And most importantly, this is for fun! So no mafia hits being taken out on me by Torchwood/Ianto/Queer as Folks fans!

One final note: the first person who mocks my photoshopping skills is banned from the site! 

BEST DRAMA SERIES
Brothers & Sisters
Six Feet Under
Torchwood
Queer as Folk
True Blood
Skins

And the winner is…

SIX FEET UNDER!

SFU wins because it not only gave us some of the most interesting, fully realized gay characters ever seen on television, but incorporated them seamlessly into the rest of the show while treating them as equals. Oh, and the show overall was fricking brilliant.

BEST COMEDY SERIES
Modern Family
Will & Grace
Ugly Betty
Glee
Noah's Arc
Rick & Steve, The Happiest Gay Couple in all The World

And the winner is…

Ugly Betty!

Okay, this one was really tough for me. On one hand, W&G seems deserving because it was groundbreaking, but IMHO it was simply too badly written far too often to win.

I wanted to pick Modern Family, but given that it’s only done one season so far, I didn’t feel it had earned it yet. I finally settled on Ugly Betty even though Marc was definitely a secondary character simply because the show did have so many great gay storylines and, like SFU, was a fantastically done show.