Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (September 19, 2008)

GIRL, I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR
This week ABC Family's college comedy Greek brought gay frat pledge Calvin back into the mix after several episodes of no-shows. How was the episode, overall? Eh...

We catch up with Calvin (Paul James), who is still dating French TA Michael (Max Greenfield), as the two are cuddling on a couch after watching Knocked Up. After a discussion about the degree of underlying homophobic humor in Judd Apatow's movies (a discussion had on these very pages, actually), Michael convinces Calvin that he needs to get out and be a little gayer by going to the town's only gay bar (which, oddly enough, has the same name as the town's strip club: Gentleman's Choice).

Max Greenfield and Paul James on Greek  

But as Calvin's life wouldn't be Calvin's life without his straight friends intervening, he soon finds himself tasked with taking out Ashleigh and Rebecca, who is apparently in need of a wave of the magic fairy wand to make her feel better about herself.

When we finally get to the gay bar, Calvin is surprised to find that it's filled with easygoing guys just enjoying themselves ... including his ex-fling, Kappa Tau brother Heath. The two have an awkward enough conversation to signal that their relationship might not be over just yet.

Otherwise there were jokes among the gay guys about whose turn it was to play fabulous, effusive friend to the mopey straight girl, which poked a little good-natured fun at the way that relationships between straight women and gay men are often treated in entertainment.

Still, though ... for what was the most Calvin-centric episode thus far this season, the gay guys were still relegated to the sidelines, making this anything but a slam-dunk. In fact, though I am not ready to throw the gaybie out with the bathwater, others here at mission control are pretty much over the show.

While we're on the topic of gay bars, a story also made the rounds this week about how Robert's Lafitte, a gay bar in Galveston, TX, became a refuge for victims of Hurricane Ike. I thought it might be nice to do a virtual bar crawl (virtual, mind you - after last week's Blood Work bender I'm taking it easy!) of some of the most beloved and memorable gay bars in entertainment. Were any of these your "first"?

Club Bablylon (Queer as Folk)

Not even a bombing could still the thumpa-thumping heartbeat of the series (for better or worse) for five seasons. Each season premiere visited Babylon's back room, where Todd always had his hands full (for starters). 

The Blue Oyster Bar (Police Academy)

I never could figure out why the gay bar in the comedy series was named after a rock band when all they played was "El Bimbo" ... but this was my and probably lots of gay teens' first impressions of a gay bar: filled with scary leather types who wanted to an impeccably-choreographed tango with me. Nice.

Chez Lui (Victor/Victoria), The Birdcage (The Birdcage), La Cage Aux Folles (La Cage Aux Folles)

These opulent drag palaces are sort of straight person's fairytale versions of a gay bars, filled with showgirls and dandies and sparkle. I can't say that I've ever in my life been to a place like any of these, but that's not to say that I wouldn't like to!

The Spike, The Mahhole, etc. (Cruising)

If William Friedkin's gleefully nasty gay serial killer movie is to be believed, gay bars are aggressive, mean, sweat-ripe, rock-and-roll-fueled dens of open-air fisting, communal drug use, and general debauch. Of course, most gay bars these days more closely resemble Social Security offices than anything found in this film. 

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