Howdy, horndogs! I’d say “hello possums,” but Brent stole that salutation from me last week. (I of course lifted it from Dame Edna.) Honestly, some of my best appropriated material on this site gets totally appropriated.

Okay, so it’s been a very dark week indeed what with Ryan Reynolds now off the singles' market, the passing of Paul (adored your salad dressing) Newman, and the complete decimation of my 401k. But hey, I’m determined to be of good cheer so thought I’d kick off the column this week with something upbeat…

GAYFACE IS A GOOD THING
Chace Crawford is in this month’s edition of Details making jokes bout the curse of his gayface.

We’ve been hearing a lot about “gayface” lately. Perez Hilton has used the term in connection with various pretty male bachelor celebrities, and then Jay Leno really brought it to the mainstream back in March when he invited Ryan Phillipe to give his best gayface for the camera.   

So what is gayface anyway?

Radar online defines it as “an expression characterized by pop eyes, arched eyebrows, pursed lips, and extreme vivacity.” Think Ben Stiller in Zoolander:

Interestingly, gayface doesn’t seem to have any correlation to actual, you know, gayness. For example, Chace Crawford, the current face of gayface, is straight. (And for all those folks who question his orientation because he lives in Chelsea with Gossip Girl castmate Ed Westwick, I ask you: Would two closeted actors hiding a secret gay relationship actually share an apartment in the gayest neighborhood in New York? I don't think so.)

On the flip side of the gayface phenomenon, we have some out gay actors who have decidedly non-gay faces. I mean T.R. Knight? Admittedly adorable, but he looks like a bassett hound puppy. Neil Patrick Harris? A handsome Easter Island monolith.  

So if gayface has nothing to do with being gay, then why do people call it that? And why is it mostly used as an insult?

I think it is a way for homely guys to take inordinately pretty men (of whatever orientation) down a peg or two. In that sense, it is entirely relative — you really only apply the term to someone who is better looking than you. Using the term “gayface” probably says more about the speaker than it does the person being described.  

Hey, if someone says you've got gayface - just pout, arch your eyebrows, and take it as a compliment. Chace Crawford obviously does!

Next page! The Australian invasion.