Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (October 17, 2008)

THE CONTINUED CURSE OF THE SURPRISE!GAYS
Here's the thing: Sex Drive was supposed to be a comedy. (The fact that it's crushingly unfunny is another story, but we're talking about intent here.) And comedy, by its nature, should not make members of its audience feel like they're about to be lynched. Yet again, the Curse of the Surprise!Gays has rendered a moviegoing experience unduly unpleasant for gay audiences.

Did the people behind Sex Drive give a moment's thought to the gay viewers (young or otherwise) who were going to have to sit through 90 minutes of anti-gay insults being shouted out, likely to the laughter of the auditorium's less sensitive occupants?

It's not like this was Boys Don't Cry or Schindler's List or American History X, where you're supposed to feel what it's like to be the persecuted group or person. Would American Pie have been as funny and successful had it been filled with racial epithets that were "just a joke"? Or hateful words about Jews or women? Absolutely not ... so why should this movie get a pass for throwing out anti-gay sentiment for laughs?

Because it's ironic, see? He's the homophobic character, but he's actually gay!

Pardon me if I don't find that the least bit funny. Or original. Or even, in this day and age, particularly realistic. So we gays are both the victims and the aggressors? And hack filmmakers' hands are totally clean. Boy, how convenient.

The phenomenon of the Surprise!Gay is usually meant to send up stereotypes about gay men ... but in the process often ends up offending a gay audience or simply reinforcing those stereotypes or arming the audience with all new insults. But even more often, it's used as a cheap plot point that, whether intended or not, often associates queer sexuality with something negative. (Like murder, as you'll see in several cases below.)

Back when I saw Sex Drive a few months ago, I had the idea of doing an article on some notable Surprise!Gay reveals in movies, and how this gag should really be left to the history books. Alonso Duralde did a great job with the piece, and I thought I'd add a few of my own least faves, to illustrate just how unpleasant the joke can be.

Note: As this is a discussion of surprises, there are SPOILERS throughout.

Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve in Deathtrap 

Deathtrap
Many people (myself included) enjoy Deathtrap for its clever, twisty plot and old-fashioned suspense. But the fact that the characters played by Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve are not competing dramatists but are actually in fact lovers who have conspired to give Caine's dippy wife a heart attack is revealed in a way clearly meant to disgust the audience (the two men kiss over the body of his wife, a kiss that was added for the film adapation of the original play). Um, manipulative killer or no, I can't see any gay man taking the time to make out before tidying up such a terrible mess.

And honestly, I don't mind seeing gay killers, I really don't. But tying the men's sexuality to their murderousness so directly isn't exactly responsible, particularly at a time when gay characters were few and far-between. 

Michael Pitt and Ryan Gosling Flirt Murder by Numbers

Murder By Numbers
This mystery thriller pitted Sandra Bullock against two precocious (and murderous) teenagers played by Ryan Gosling and Michael Pitt. We know early on that the two are behind the murders, but we don't know exactly what brings the two together. Surprise, the sweet, passive Justin (Pitt) is in love with Richard (Gosling), whose character is likely straight but happy enough to entertain the attentions of a longing gay kid if he'll do the dirty work for him ... which Justin is happy to do. Had Justin not been gay and in love with Richard, would he have killed? Probably not ... hence the problem.

Numbers was clearly based on the real-life crime of gay lovers Leopold and Loeb. And if their sexual relationship had been addressed directly (as it was in Swoon, for example), that's totally fine ... but pushing the characters into the closet and using the sexual energy between them as thriller fodder is a bit cheap. 

Fatal Games
This utterly insane slasher movie from the 80's centers on a group of Olympic hopefuls who are targeted one by one by a homicidal killer. While the idea of a bunch of fit young things being dispatched by a javelin-throwing killer might sound at least campy or promise some male skin (the guys actually shower in their jockstraps to prevent that from happening!), it's a pretty lame effort overall and in the end is sunk by the fact that the killer is Sally Kirkland ... yes, the Sally Kirland ... and she's a man!

Ving Rhames and Adam Sandler

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Alright, alright ... we've probably said enough about this not-terribly-intentioned but also not-terribly-funny "gay marriage" comedy, but one element that isn't often discussed is the bizarre change in personality that accompanies one of the film's actual gay characters' coming out. When macho, aggressive fireman Duncan (Ving Rhames) comes out as gay to Chuck (or Larry, I can't remember which is which) because he thinks he's really gay, he suddenly turns into Carmen Ghia from The Producers. Seriously, does every gay man have to high-kick out of the closet singing showtunes? 

Bruce James and his snake

Snakes on a Plane
This is kind of the reverse Surprise!Gay effect, but it has the same disappointing impact. When I saw that the effeminate flight attendant on said serpent-infested airline (Ken, played by the dashing Bruce James) was actually a heroic character, I found my brittle heart swelling with pride. But at the end of the movie, when the guy has actually survived, he gets off the plane and runs into the arms of ... his girlfriend! Get it? He's femmy, but he's straight! Subverting the stereotype ... or just an excuse to make more tired gay jokes (like one involving his sucking venom out of another guy's buttcheek) at the gays' expense?

Up next: Hey, not all TV sucked this week!