Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (October 30, 2009)

ASSHAT OF THE WEEK
Larry Johnson gets "flagged," anti-gay campaigns in Washington and Maine tell "lies lies lies yeah" (this week's obscure 80s pop reference), and a Canadian leader is a total hoser.

1) Kansas City football player Larry Johnson

WHY? The struggling Chief's found themselves in deeper trouble this week when Johnson, who is not getting along with his coach, used a series of anti-gay slurs first on his Twitter account where he tweeted that one person's photo was a "fag pic" and then called him a "Christopher street boy." When reporters later tried to ask Johnson questions, he responded by saying "Get your faggot ass out of here."

The Chiefs then banned Johnson from practicing with the team and the NFL has since suspended Johnson for two games which will cost him an estimated $600,000. Johnson is appealing the ruling and some are speculating that the troublesome running back might be let go entirely as he was creating problems even before this latest incident. (Kudos to Johnson's father for expressing disappointment in his son.)

Is the NFL's penalty too harsh? No frigging way. If Johnson had simply used the word in the lockerroom in frustration, that would be one thing. It still wouldn't be all right, but it's a sad fact of life that the "F" word is used so casually by a lot of straight men that it's almost unremarkable. Last weekend I visited my niece at college where it was homecoming weekend. At one point we encountered a group of fans jokingly taunting fans from the other team. Their favorite word of choice? Faggot.

What really gets me about Johnson are his tweets which clearly demonstrate the guy has an issue with gay folks. It's one thing to let it fly while angry; it's something else entirely to use so deliberately And there is no reason that the NFL, which pays Johnson millions of dollars, should tolerate that kind of behavior.

2) Stand for Marriage Maine

Why? The lies being spread by this group of "Christians" are so outrageous as to be unconscionable. Even after every reputable media outlet and politician has chastised them for lying about what would be taught to kindergartners about gay sex, the group has kept right on lying left and right.

3) Protect Marriage Washington

Why? Making claims only slight less outrageous than Stand for Marriage Maine is this group trying to overturn Washington state's recently expanded domestic partner's law. These people know they are lying about what the referendum will and won't do, yet they keep right on lying. I don't know how they square that with their belief that they are moral people.

4) Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and speechwriter Nigel Hannaford

Why? AfterElton.com reader Madeline nominated the notoriously anti-gay Harper this week for having recently hired Nigel Hannaford as his new speechwriter. Hannaford, a former columnist for the Calgary Herald, is a long time opponent of gay rights having written such gems as:

Fine, said lots of people. Leave gays alone? Fair enough. But, let 'em be Boy Scout leaders? Have each other's benefits? Adopt kids? Marry each other? Ridiculous. Anybody seeking political office who suggested it would have been laughed off the hustings. Yet, the Liberals are ready to legalize gay marriage. How did we get to this point?

Just this year Hannaford had this to say about teaching tolerance to kids: "...in which gay advocates design class material promoting their persuasion right down to kindergarten."

Well, as long as we're talking about kindergartners let me just say to Hannaford and the homophobes in Maine and Washington, "Liar, liar, pants on fire. Nose as long as a telephone wire."

I figure that's the only kind of debate they'll understand.

That's it, kids. Have fun picking your Asshat this week! And if you live in Maine or Washington, don't forget to vote!

Next page! The Power Rankings!