Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (October 31, 2008)

DO I HAVE TO LIKE THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE GAY?
Here at AfterElton.com we write a lot about the small but growing pool of out celebrities. But that means writers such as myself spend a lot of time thinking about these celebrities. And you know what?

I’m finding I don’t like some of them very much.

Yes, I know, you can’t ever really “know” a celebrity from just their public persona. And I also know I’m totally trashing my own karma by putting all this negativity out there.

That said, I just have to get this off my chest. Here are some of my least favorites:

NATHAN LANE: I respect Lane’s coming out in the aftermath of the Matthew Shepherd murder, and he was amusing in The Lion King. But his loud, braying voice and his hammy 1950’s Catskills-style comedy shtick drives me absolutely around the bend. It’s reached the point where I have to leave the room whenever he’s on TV. And for the record, I think his Letterman Brokeback Mountain sketch was horrible, and his portrayal of that character in The Birdcage was totally offensive, right up there with Butterfly McQueen’s portrayal of Prissy in Gone with the Wind.

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT: I’ve never been a fan of Wainwright’s music, so I never paid him much attention. But I recently had to do a write-up on him for an article, and I was struck by how every profile of him ever written says the same thing: that he has a really high opinion of himself and that everyone who knows him seems to think he’s something of an a-hole. So why does anyone put up with it? Because he’s supposedly so talented. If there’s one thing that really bugs me, it’s this idea that being talented means the rules of normal human interaction don’t apply.

MORRISSEY: I used to love The Smiths, but boy did Morrissey’s coyness regarding his sexuality get old fast. It was obvious that his songs were about same-sex love. So why couldn’t he just say this? I’m sorry if the words “gay” or “bisexual” don’t encompass the majesty of all that he is. Back before I lost my hair, it was an unusual color — not red, but sort of a golden auburn. But you know what? People didn’t want to listen to me give a 30-minute seminar on the color of my hair. It was “red,” okay?

GEORGE MICHAEL: Okay, so this one’s a gimme. I honestly don’t care what Michael does in his private life, but when he was confronted by a reporter and said, ““Are you gay? No? Then f*** off! This is my culture!” he lost me forever. Sorry, George: some gay people might do what you do, but then some straight people do too, which means it’s not “gay culture” at all. And for the record? You’re a gay role model whether you like it or not, and what you do affects us whether we like it or not. As a favor to the rest of us: please get a hotel room.

Next page! Democratic beefcake.