Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (October 31, 2008)

RUPERT EVERETT: Yes, he’s hot. Yes, he was fantastic in My Best Friend’s Wedding. But wow, he seems like a prick. He supposedly throws tantrums, he swears on live TV, he impugns all soldiers, and he insults other actors by name for “selling out” (which takes some nerve given that his oeuvre contains movies like Inspector Gadget). Everett likes to complain that being out has kept him from being a bigger star, but you know what? Maybe it’s the fact that he’s a jerk.

Photo credit Matt Cardy/Getty Images

JOHN BARROWMAN: Yes, unlike some of the others on this list, the Torchwood star has his charms. But too often he’s also crude and annoying. People say Neil Patrick Harris is America’s answer to John Barrowman? Please. Harris has more class in his little finger than Barrowman has in the supposedly enormous dong he’s always alluding to. I appreciate that he’s totally out, but could he now please be a little less out?

HOT DEMOCRATS! GET YOUR HOT DEMOCRATS HERE!
So I overheard some people saying something about an election next week? It’s too bad they don’t make a bigger deal out of our elections here in the U.S.

Far be it for me to tell you how to vote, but I can tell you to vote. And that if you don’t, you’re a total weenie who doesn’t deserve to ever criticize anything about this country or your state or city ever again!

Incidentally, who’s the hottest male politician in America? One website did a ranking. I’m constitutionally unable to find any Republican attractive these days. No, seriously, it’s true — which I guess says something about how I’ll be voting! But I did find these five Democrats to be hotties:

Clockwise from top left: Tim Ashe (#5), Adrian Fenty (#12)
David Segal (#6), Eddie Lucio III (#9) & Chris Jackson (#14)

Next page! TV suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune! (Well, the arrows anyway.)