Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (November 06, 2009)

KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? THE CLOSET. YOU'RE STILL AROUND? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!
There's been a great deal of discussion on the site over the past couple of weeks about gay celebrities, the closet and what constitutes being "out." And even though we've discussed the issue numerous times before, it seems like it is once again time to revisit the topic. And it's a subject that is as tricky as ever and that can have real consequences for the celebrities involved.

Perez kicked the latest round of debate off when he posted an item about White Collar's Matthew Bomer. Without citing a source or saying how he knew, Perez simply claimed Matt was an out gay man. If true, we were certainly interested in writing about Matt and his show, but as we aren't a gossip site, I wasn't going to simply repeat Perez's claims — for lots of reasons. 

But I did call up Matthew's publicist and request an interview if, in fact, Perez's information was correct. Through his publicist, Matthew passed on doing the interview and the publicist told me they don't comment on their client's personal lives. And that post set off a heated discussion about outing, the closet and all the other related issues.

The issue of the closet is something we deal with at AfterElton.com a lot and we are constantly evaluating how we cover celebrities that may or may not be gay. First and foremost, we do not out people. It's our firm belief that despite the undeniably greater gay acceptance in society today, coming out still has serious ramifications for many people and is a decision to be made only by the individual in question (excluding closeted politician's, but that's another conversation for another site).

That being said, we also don't believe there is anything wrong with treating everyone the same and the questions asked of a straight celebrity are perfectly fine to ask of a gay celebrity when appropriate. Are you married? Single? What was your childhood like? How does being straight influence the way you play a gay character? Does your husband get jealous when you kiss another man? And so forth.

Which is exactly why I went to Bomer's publicist for a comment about Perez's claim. And then we reported that comment here so you could make up your mind about what it meant.

I've been doing this job for a number of years now and have a fair bit of experience navigating these waters. I have watched things change both in terms of how celebrities and their management behave and how you, our readers, react. Here are some general observations and thoughts about where we stand today.

BTW, these are based on numerous experiences from over the years and you shouldn't assume they apply to any one specific situation. Often they apply to numerous situations.

1) For our readers: Just because "everyone" in West Hollywood or New York "knows" Celebrity X is gay because you've seen him around town with another guy does not make it true or mean that the person is out publicly. First of all, New York and Los Angeles are not the entire world and secondly, being seen out in public with another man is not being out in any practical way.

For our purposes, being out publicly means either a celebrity confirming the fact themselves during an interview or by a statement made through their official representation — which is what David Hyde Pierce did when we asked him — or by taking some public action such as thanking their partner in public or making it crystal clear by their behavior in a public setting where the celebrity knows the press will be attending and reporting on what happens. 

And paparazzi snapping pics of Celebrity X eating dinner in a restaurant or riding a bike around town doesn't cut the mustard. I'm talking about official events such as movie premieres, award ceremonies and the such. 

2) For gay celebrities: Just because your family and friends know you are gay does not make you publicly out.

This is the other side of the above coin and is what some celebrities have tried to claim after officially coming out. "I wasn't hiding anything!" they declare even though they never thanked their partner in public, included that information in their bio or disclosed the information in any of the ways straight celebrities do every day. 

I've heard more than one newly out celebrity claim they never hid anything even though news that they are gay makes headlines. Um sure, you were out — if I were psychic and could read your mind. 

That's trying to eat your cake and have it too, which is a semantic's game that drives me nuts.

You can't eat your cake until you admit you were in the closet all along.