Best. Gay. Week. Ever! In Memory of Fergus Logan

THE SADDEST GAY WEEK EVER
Around the AfterElton.com offices we frequently refer to the "AfterElton community," but the reality of how much the site has grown to become an actual community truly hit home this week when we learned that Logan, one of our longtime members, had tragically been killed in a car accident. 

We only learned that Logan had died two weeks ago when his friend Emi joined the site to post the awful news. She said she had done so because Logan (known as Fergie to his offline friends) had frequently spoken of those he'd met on AfterElton and how much the friends he'd met here had meant to him. 

I can honestly say I was blown away hearing this. A gay guy living in the highlands of Scotland spoke fondly and frequently enough of the site that his straight friend thought to come here and tell us the news? Just ... wow. I'm honored.

I can also say how sorry I was that I never had the chance to interact with Logan and to get to know him. And while I know a lot of you did get to know him, odds are most folks reading this column hadn't had that opportunity which is a shame because he sounds like he was a marvelous young man.

So I've decided to use part of this week's column to commemorate Logan and to let those of us who didn't know him to at least learn a little about him now. I thought I'd start with Logan's post on the Ta-Dah! It's Me! forum started by AE reader Addison.

OK, introductions. I'm Logan and I'm the eldest of 3. All of us now tower over our poor old mum by between 6 to 14 inches, which makes for some pretty comical family photos! Born in Glasgow but moved to the green and pleasant land of Argyll after being robbed at knifepoint aged 5. I guess my parents felt we weren't living in ideal child-rearing territory!

I knew I was gay at around 13 years, had my first boyfriend when I was 14 but, strangely didn't come out until I was 18. My mum was great about it, she had known I was gay for almost as long as I did. She had just been waiting for me to bring it up! My dad had passed away a few years before I came out and it's one of my big regrets that I never got to tell him. I think he would have been cool with it, but I'll never know for sure now.

These days I'm living in the western highlands (of Scotland in case that's not clear to anyone :) and making my living as a forester. Who knew you could get paid for climbing trees!? I love my job and I love where I live although I'm a bit out of touch with the gay community so AfterElton helps me not to look like a total hick when I visit my pals in Glasgow!

I've been going out with a great guy for the past 5 months but there's about a 3 hour drive between us so this relationship is doing my carbon footprint no good at all! Hopefully all the trees I've planted will make up for that. It's far too early for either of us to think of uprooting ourselves and moving house to be together so for now it's just me and my dog Beano living up a hill in my little wooden house. Life's pretty good and you never know what's coming next, so make the most of what you've got.

Logan wrote this only three months ago and if that last sentence doesn't make you stop and ponder the fragility of life, I don't know what will. 

I'm also sharing comments left by some of the readers who best knew Logan. 

Miz Liz:
On the surface, one might look at Fergus, and think that he, a 27-year-old forester and part-time constable with a now legendary, two-foot expanding truncheon, and I, would have nothing in common. I know I did. So my friendship with him was unexpected. He may have been a big bad caber tosser, but he was also a guy who liked to take the time to watch the butterflies. A few weeks ago, when I was home sick from work, he sent me corny jokes for entertainment, as he knew I’d appreciate them. 

SurferDude:

I got to know Fergie over a love of rugby and something a bit more personal and sad that we had in common. He was always positive and what a sense of humour, hands up if you got to read the New Years Eve story??? He just had the best delivery. I laughed out loud for a good ten minutes after that one :-) Fergie was a top bloke who treated me and my family with respect and a sharp wit.

Lurch:

Had to break the habit of a lifetime and stand up to make my online voice heard along with you all, just to add my voice to everyone else's. I live at the other end of the island from Logan's stamping ground, and always looked forward to his comments. He was a funny, warm, vital man.

TrekBoy:

I can’t believe what happened! Words can not express my feelings right now! My dear Fergie, my wonderful Fergie - I will miss you so much! There is nothing I can say or do to explain my, all our loss! The sky has lost one of its brightest shining stars and it will never be the same again! Your support and advice helped me accept who I am and you brought me closer to a happy out life than I ever imagined! It feels so sad that I have to make the last few steps now without you! Your strength, courage, kindness and understanding have helped me become more confident about who I am!

Morgan:

Logan thought up our little 80's music video battle. He chose "Holding Out For A Hero" and set off a weeks worth of 80's nostalgia. Logan always had the ability to do that. To bring us all together with laughter and a thoughtful word or two.

Hearsejockey4u:

he was such a happy man and spread his shining beacon of light to all he knew. I feel so honored and fortunate to have been his friend and will miss Fergie deeply as we are such a close knit family here at AE. This is such a heart wrenching loss of a wonderful, spirited human being.

And SurferDude's son LittleDude wanted to share his thoughts as well:

Fergie was pretty cool, I'm was only the kid of one of his buddies, he didn't even HAVE to talk to me. But he did, and we talked about rugby mainly, he knew his stuff and I impressed him with what I knew too. He talked to me about joining my local youth team and what position would suit me best! He never attempted to talk down to me or at me and trust me I get that A LOT from adults. For that alone I thought he was awesome :-) He was pretty funny too!

Dad says that when we lose someone we care about we should open a window and look to the stars, then the person we miss will know we're thinking of them. He left the window open last night for Fergie.

Sleep well, Littledude

I know this will sound corny, but one of my favorite series of books is Anne of Green Gables, and in Anne's House of Dreams, at one point upon the occasion of Anne getting married, Marilla says, "When I was a child, I heard an old minister say that a house was not a real home until it had been consecrated by a birth, a wedding, and a death."

I know that we've had AE readers who have gotten married and members who have had kids. But as far as I know, Logan is the first member we've lost. And while it's awful and tragic, it's also unavoidable because it's part of life. But the grief felt at his loss and the thoughts posted by our readers shows that this little corner of the world has somehow become a community in the truest sense of the word. 

And while I'm sorry to say our community is now a little bit less vibrant than it was two weeks ago, it's better for your having been part of it, Logan. You'll be missed.