Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (November 14, 2008)

PERHAPS WE SHOULD CALL IT STONEWALL 2: THE RECKONING
It's clearly way too early to know what the significance of the passage of Prop 8 and the subsequent reaction of the gay community will be, but clearly something is afoot.

We've already had protests in California, Utah and New York, and this Saturday there are going to be protests nationwide. Who knows? Maybe the country will finally take note that we GLBT folks are getting pretty tired of being the country's whipping boy (or whipping girl, or whipping transgendered person).

To find out if there is a protest taking place in your city, visit Join the Impact — and after you march, share your experiences in the comments section. BTW, while I think these protests are great (and I'll be attending in Seattle), I am 100% against disrupting Mormon church services or harassing people. Not every Mormon is anti-gay and that kid of behavior gets us nothing but bad press and ill-will in the straight community.

In other Prop 8 news, the artistic director of Sacramento's California Musical Theater has stepped down after it came to light he had donated a $1000 to Yes on 8, an action that enraged a number of playwrights whose works had run at the theater, including Hairspray's Marc Shaiman. Also weighing in was Avenue Q creator Jeffy Whitty. I never thought the director should be fired, but I'm glad he's decided to exit stage left.

Dan Savage, Jeffy Whitty, Marc Shaiman

Dan Savage of The Stranger not only dropped by The Colbert Report to discuss the elderly's role in passing Prop 8, but he also penned an Op-Ed for The New York Times about the stupidity of the gay-adoption ban passed by Arkansas which various wingnut Christians are now threatening to pass in other states. Arkansas passed this despite the fact that the state's Governor and adoption agencies pleaded with voters not to pass it, since it would hurt the 3,000 children languishing in state care.

But that didn't dissuade those "Christian"'s egged on by their churches to pass the ban. How stupid was the initiative? In order to keep gay people from adopting without violating the state's constitution, the initiative prohibited all unmarried partners from adopting. What would Jesus do? Lose his lunch, I'm guessing.

And a special WTF? to Arkansas' Democratic voters who apparently helped pass the ban by staying home on election day because they couldn't bring themselves to vote for Barack Obama. All those bigoted Southern voters must be so proud to live in states with the nation's highest rates of divorce, teen pregnancy, out-of-wedlock birth and poverty.

HOW ABOUT, AFTER MORMONS DIE, WE WED THEM TO SAME-SEX PARTNERS?
One of the more bizarre and disturbing tidbits about the Mormon church to emerge from the Prop 8 fall-out is that the they actually baptize every person after they die regardless of their stated religious beliefs. Only the Jews have worked out a special "hey-you-freaks-knock-that-BS-off" deal with the Utah whackjobs to not baptize Jewish people after they pass. However, that deal only covers Jews who perished in the Holocaust and reportedly the Mormon church is even violating that arrangement.

In other words, in the eyes of the Mormon church, the rest of us all get to become Mormons posthumously whether we want to or not.

Fine. But I just had a revelation today and it turns out that my religious beliefs require that all Mormons actually be married to same-sex partners and I'm not even going to wait until they kick the bucket. So up first, I hereby decry that notorious Mormon homophobe Orson Scott Card is now married to Oscar Wilde!

Oscar and Orson sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

I know, I know! Wilde suffered enough in life — marrying him, even posthumously, to Card is a terrible thing to do, but I feel certain Oscar would do it for us!

DAYTIME TALK SHOW LOOKING FOR NEW CO-HOSTS. JOB REQUIREMENT: ONLY NEED BE SMARTER THAN A POST
Much has already been written about The View's recent ridiculous misrepresentation of GLBT issues, specifically Proposition 8, but I feel the need to register my disgust over Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Sherri Shepherd. Whenever the topic turns to anything more complicated than 2 + 2 = 4, these two have proved themselves to be buffoons of stupendous proportions.

Which is more qualified to be on The View? Sherri Shepherd, a post in the ground or Elisabeth Hasselbeck?

The whole Proposition 8 fiasco was the perfect example of the saying "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing." But in the case of Sherri and Elisabeth, we're talking very little knowledge. Anyone else surprised that it was Whoopi who did some actual, you know, research?

And I wanted to throttle Elisabeth when she again repeated her false story about the Swedish Pastor being imprisoned for not performing a same-sex wedding. Even worse, she he had the gall to say that gay people do have the right to marry just like everyone else. We just have to marry someone of the opposite sex. See! No discrimination!

And double boos for Sherri for saying nothing while Hasseltwit yammered on about legislating from the court. Shepherd wouldn't even have her rights if it weren't for those courts.

Barbara Walters either needs to keep topics limited to "Dinosaurs and Mankind: Did they Co-Exist?" and "10 Ways to Keep Your Child From Walking Off The Earth's Edge," or change the name from "Hot Topics" to "Daily Segment For Circular Logic and Blatant Stupidity."

Yes, I realize how mean I'm being and how bitter I sound, but I am seriously PO'd over Prop 8, plus I loathe these two women and the real damage their ignorant blather is doing to our community.

Next page! Which commandment did Tony Perkins break with Anderson Cooper?