Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (December 5, 2008)

Okay, show of hands. How many of us gay boys were interested in magic as a kid? I know I was. I had a bunch of novelty tricks (locking hoops, a rigged card deck, a scarf I could turn into a flower bouquet, etc.), and I even had a magician's outfit complete with wand, cape, and a top hat with a false bottom.  Come to think of it, I wish I still had that top hat. I'm sure I could think of better things to hide in there than a rubber chicken.

Anyway, most of us outgrow this embarrassingly geeky preoccupation with magic (or at least pretend to). The braver among us — folks like Neil Patrick Harris — choose to live their adult lives out and proud as magic enthusiasts. That takes guts I think. 

To them I dedicate this special magic edition of the Best. Gay. Week. Ever. So "Abracadabra" and away we go....

HOW TO CODE DUMBLEDORE QUEER
My sister might just be the only person in America who hadn't heard that Albus Dumbledore was gay. When I mentioned over lunch that J.K. Rowling herself had confirmed the Hogwarts headmaster's sexual orientation in interviews, my sis harrumphed and argued that it doesn't really count unless a fact is in the literary work itself. Otherwise, you could simply tag fictional characters with different personality traits anytime you wanted. "Hey, I know! Jane Eyre's bulimic! Or, Hamlet is into auto-asphyxiation!"

Well, after trying to wipe the image of the Melancholy Dane auto-asphyxiating from my mind (To breathe or not to breathe?), I gave my sister's basic position some thought and decided she had a point.  The Albus Dumbledore of the books (now that they're all written) isn't gay in any meaningful sense.  But the good news is there are really two Dumbledores — the one in the books and the one in the Harry Potter movies. Not all of the movies have been released yet, which means there's still a chance to make the cinematic Dumbledore truly queer.

Check out the trailer for the next film in the series, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

Hmm, nothing in there about which way Dumbledore swings, although I guess you could read something into that "I'm like you Tom — I'm different" line. Warner Brothers is still going for a "family audience" with these increasingly dark films, so it's doubtful they'd make the character's orientation completely explicit. Still, there are a variety of ways to "code" Dumbledore as queer. Here's a few suggestions:

1. Pensieve collection mislabeled - Harry accidentally traumatized by Albus' memories of Palm Springs White Party.

2. Dumbledore seen exiting potions closet with Snape, wizarding wardrobes askew.

Next page! A new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and a Powertool patronus!