Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (June 27, 2008)

WHO NEEDS PEOPLE MAGAZINE'S HOT STRAIGHT BACHELORS?
MyPartner.com (yes, another matchmaking service, but this one is by gay men, for gay men) is currently open for voting to help choose America's Gay Bachelor. Through the end of the month you can vote on your favorite bachelors (there is one nominee from every state) and the top five vote getters will then go to the W Hotel in San Diego where guest judges David Bromstad (Color Splash) and Jesse Brune (Work Out) will help choose the winner.

David Bromstad, Jesse Brune

The winning bachelor receives a $25,000 Matchmaking Plan, a trip for two to the W San Diego and will be featured as America's Mot Eligible Gay Bachelor. Sheesh, you'd think they'd at least offer a reality show to boot!

Here are some of the fellows you can vote for:

THE WEEK IN GAY OUTRAGE: MAYONNAISE, THIRTY DAYS AND ANGRY GAYS!
There was a great deal of umbrage out there this week both here and around the world. The Monkey got things off to a start on Monday discussing the use of the "F" word and launching a pretty intense conversation in the comments. Michael Portantiere kept things going with his review of the Off-Broadway debut of BASH'd, the gay-rap opera which Michael faulted for casting two age-inappropriate leads.

Naturally, it wouldn't be a Friday (or a Monday or any other day) without Rush Limbaugh saying someting stupid and/or homophobic. This week in answering a caller's question about the gay community and the Democratic establishment, Rush said, "You want to know why the Republicans are willing to say, "Screw you," to 30 percent or more of their voters and yet Democrats will bend over, grab the ankles, and say, "Have your way with me," for 10 percent and 2 percent of the population?"

That Rush sure has a way with words and Media Matters has the whole transcript if you think you can keep your breakfast down.

We also learned that "Heinz" is apparently German for "spineless weenie" when the company pulled their ad in the U.K. after 200 assorted wingnuts complained that seeing two men kiss in a mayonnaise ad is offensive. Complaints ranged from "This promotes homosexuality" to talk of the spread of AIDS resulting from the commercial.

Morgan Spurlock, BASH'd, Nathan Cuckow and Chris Craddock

Heinz spokesweenie Michael Mullen added, “Heinz apologizes for its misplaced attempt at humor and we accept that this ad was not in accordance with our long-standing corporate policy of respecting everyone’s rights and values.” He then went on to add, "Be sure to look for our replacement ads featuring Neville Chamberlain extolling the virtures of our products!"

In response, thousands of gay men claimed to have thrown away all of their Heinz mayonnaise even though everyone knows 99% of gay men wouldn't touch the stuff. But over 6,000 folks have signed an online petition demanding Heinz reinstate the ad while in the UK several Members of Parliament took time out to critcize Heinz.

Let Heinz know what you think about the situation.

UK: Nigel Dickie, +44 20 8848 2726 - Nigel.Dickie@uk.hjheinz.com
US: Jessica Jackson, 412-237-3562 - jessica.jackson@us.hjheinz.com
Michael Mullen, 412-456-5751 - Michael.mullen@us.hjheinz.com

Meanwhile, here in the states, GLAAD got their knickers in a twist over a recent FX episode of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days. The episode featured Kati, an anti-gay woman living with a gay couple with four adopted children for thirty days to see if doing so would change her mind about gay adoption. She is — surprise! — against it.

The problem for GLAAD was the unchallenged comments by one Peter Spriggs who said a bunch of ignorant, homophobic crap about gay parents. Does GLAAD have a point? Sure, but I think they are being a bit overblown. This wasn't a news program; it's a reality show and how anyone could come away from the show thinking it was anything other than pro-gay and that Kati, Spriggs and their ilk are anything other than Dodo birds is beyond me. Nonetheless, if your hand hasn't cramped after telling off Heinz, why not drop FX a note too.

Nick Grad, Executive Vice President of Original Programming
(310) 369-0949
ngrad@fxnetworks.com

Eric Shrier, Executive
eric.shrier@fxnetwork.com

Scott Seomin, Vice President of Public Relations
(310) 369-0938
scott.seomin@fxnetwork.com

Meanwhile, I've got some leftover turkey and a turkey sandwich with a little mayo — oh, crap. I threw it away.

Next page! No new movies! No new DVDs! No reason to go on living!