Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (August 29, 2008)

Kim Kardashian? Oh please, she announced that she sliced her heel this week. Perfect way to lower expectations.

Susan Lucci? Also very stiff.

And is it just me, or does pic above totally remind you of Rose McGowan in Planet Terror?

Every time Lucci performs, Len, Bruno and Carrie Ann are going to have to duck behind the judges' table to avoid machine gun fire.

No seriously, the only real competition that I can see for Bass is Toni Braxton and Cody Linley.

Toni, because the woman has a rockin' bod and knows how to move. Cody, because at 19 he's the youngest contestant and thus probably has the most stamina, and he's from that hugely popular Hannah Montana show. You can never discount those Disney factory kids and their legions of pre-teen fans. Also, he's sorta cute.

Cody Linley

Okay, so I'm curious what other people think about Lance Bass's prospects. Let us know in the comments....

Next page! We're sniffing around for plots most foul. And darn proud of it!