BRAD GARRETT AND CHRIS CROCKER SHOULD PRESENT NEXT YEAR'S EMMY FOR LACK OF CLASS
Physically, Brad "I Love the 'F' Word" Garrett, the towering star of Fox's dreadful sitcom 'Til Death (more on that later) and Chris Crocker, the diminutive defender of Britney Spears, couldn't be amore different. Yet watching both of their recent appearances on national television showed they actually have quite a bit in common — namely, a serious lack of class.

Garrett's "class", or lack thereof, first came to my attention last year when he said Isaiah Washington should join his show because they used the "F" word all the time and Isaiah would fit right in. Garrett struck again Sunday during the Emmy's when he offered up all sorts of "observations" about his co-presenter (and co-star) Joely Fisher including his announcement they would co-star in the western "Bury My Head Between Your Knees", his comment after ogling Fisher's cleavage that he needed to buy milk, and his observation that Fisher was on Charlie Sheen's "to do list". Nice. I bet women just dig talk like that.

Meanwhile, Crocker appeared on Jimmy Kimmel's talk show where he proceeded to make crude sexual comments about Kimmel including telling him he was "sexually aroused"and saying "Your putting words in my mouth and that's not what I want you to put in my mouth."

Thanks, Chris — because it's not like folks don't already have an image of gay men as sexually promiscuous perverts hitting on straight men. So imagine the two of them presenting an award together. It might go something like this:

Brad Garrett: Aw, man, why do I have to present with this little "fa-- I mean, queer?"

Chris Crocker: Oooh, Brad. You're so tall your zipper is right in front of me! You know what that means!

BG: Sheesh! I specifically requested Hayden Panettierre since she turned eighteen last year! Life is so not fair.

CC: Forget Hayden, Brad. Let me show you my superpowers!

BG: Well...are you eighteen?

THE SITCOM ISN'T DEAD, BUT FOX SURE IS TRYING TO KILL IT!
Being a big fan of the gay-friendly and deftly-written sitcom Frasier, I tuned into Wednesday night's debut of Kelsey Grammer's new Fox show Back to You. Blech! They should change the title to Back to the Drawing Board and dump this turkey. Do we really need another over-sexed Latina and a fat, sweaty character to laugh at? Even worse, it wasn't funny.

Ditto the premiere of Garrett's 'Til Death right after Grammer's show and which was about as fresh as reruns of Charles in Charge. Last year, Fox hid the show behind American Idol which artificially boosted it in the ratings. Back to You won it's time slot, but scored fewer than 10 million viewers. Not exactly spectacular. And not to gloat, but Garrett's show lost a good chunk of Back to You's audience. I guess his Emmy antics really pulled folks in!

It's really too bad as sitcom's need not be so lame. Just look at Weeds, Flight of the Conchords, or The Sarah Silverman Program.

Speaking of Silverman, I've seen the first two episodes of the new season (debuting Oct. 3) and I'm happy to report that Brian and Steve, TV's most unusual gay couple, are still front and present in the show. Additionally, the second episode features one of the most horrifying/funniest scenes I've watched in a long time. It's one of those moments where you can't believe you're laughing at what your watching. Not wanting to give anything away, all I'll say is Sarah's dog Doug and his rear end is featured prominently.

I have very mixed feelings about singing her show's praises as Silverman's recent hosting gigs have turned me off of her considerably. While hosting the MTV Movie Awards, she came across as juvenile and crass, but it was her mocking Britney's children during this month's Video Music Awards that made me think she should probably be nominated along with Garrett and Crocker for the Lack of Class Emmy. Yes, yes, I get that she's really mocking cluelessness. But the meaner she gets, the less that excuse is working for me.