Just how gay is Beowulf?

Last week I stumbled across Kyle Smith’s review of Beowulf, the new film from Robert Zemeckis that, with the help of "performance capture" technology, reimagines the great Anglo-Saxon epic poem as a medieval action extravaganza. Intrigued by Smith's comments about the homoerotic content in the film, and curious to see whether the film was indeed carrying on in the well-muscled footsteps of 300, which somehow managed to simultaneously be both homoerotic and homophobic, I ventured out to see the film for myself. I’m sad to report that I left the theater disappointed; both with the movie and with the lack of any substantial gay content.

Outside of one (rather memorable) scene, the gay content is limited to the muscle-gazing that comes standard in films of the “sword and sandal” genre, and an adolescent preoccupation with groin-threatening spears. The most memorable scene in the film does 300 one better by having its buff hero strip down completely before doing battle with the misshapen monster named Grendel. (Check out some revealing screencaps after the jump!)

While the naked battle was a welcome surprise (though only fair considering the amount of time the camera spends leering over the nearly nude Angelina Jolie), nude warriors are hardly a new idea in entertainment, especially to those familiar with Richard Corben’s popular series of fantasy graphic novels featuring a permanently naked hero named Den. Screenwriter Roger Avary admits that those stories were a major influence when he and co-writer Neil Gaiman were writing the script. Though audiences are spared any full-frontal pixels due to some amusing Austin Powers-style view obstructions, I’m curious to see how the film’s target audience of young, ostensibly heterosexual, men respond to the scene (despite the fact that nude battles on film are enjoying something of a renaissance recently).

Without any gaytastic goodness to be had from Beowulf, we're left with a bland movie populated by pretty, if slightly creepy looking, computer generated people who swig mead, battle fearsome creatures, and occasionally run around in their birthday suits. To be fair, I'm not a fan of performance capture; the technique makes every character look like a walking, talking corpse, and it's deeply unsettling (though I can't imagine the actors have any complaints - just take a look at the above photo to see the abs the animators were able to give Ray Winstone for the film, courtesy of physique model Aaron Stephens!). If you must see this film, search out the amazing looking 3-D IMAX version - the incredible visuals are the film's only saving grace.

Pics thanks to the ever-resourceful Frank over at OMGBlog.