The Yuletide Gay: Five of television's gayest animated Christmas moments

How gay are animated Christmas specials? Pretty gay. But waaaaay too much has already been written about gay-esque characters such as all the misfits in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Sally-avoiding Linus in A Charlie Brown Christmas, and Jingle and Jangle in The Year Without a Santa Claus.

Yes, yes, we get it — Hermey doesn't fit in among the "elves," because he wants to be a "dentist."

Please. That's the low-hanging gay fruit of animated Christmas specials. Surely you expect more from us here at AfterElton.com than to harvest that tired crop yet again this year.

So let's dig a little deeper into the gay subtext of 60's animated holiday cartoons and stop-motion Christmas puppetry, shall we?

Click onward for some equally gay Christmas special moments that you just may have missed!

Kris Kringle in Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town

1. "Hot" versus "Not" Kris Kringle in Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town

The gimmick of Santa Claus is Comin' to Town is that a mailman voiced by Fred Astaire answers all the questions kids have about Santa Claus. But he also answers one unstated question that we gay folk might have: whether Santa is gay or straight:

Santa is straight — very, very straight.

How do we know this? No, not because of his romance with Miss Jessica.

It's because he starts out the story as a total hottie ... but then, like so many straight men, quickly lets himself go completely to pot.

But just because the insufferable Miss-Jessica-turned-Mrs.-Claus co-dependently encourages him to "Eat! Eat!", that doesn't mean gay viewers can't enjoy the young, hot Kris Kringle.

What's that, you say? He's a puppet? Puppets can't be "hot"? Um, clearly you didn't grow up gay and frustrated in the 70's!

Billy De Wolfe and Professor Hinkle

2. Professor Hinkle in Frosty the Snowman 

Professor Hinkle, Frosty's magic-free magician, was voiced by gay character actor Billy De Wolfe, who specialized in just these types of fussy, bumbling roles. De Wolfe, who very close friends with Doris Day, later participated in Marlo Thomas' paean to communism, Free to Be...You and Me, with its horribly subversive message that kids should be allowed to express themselves however they want and that they should accept themselves however they are.

Incidentally, is anyone else surprised that Frosty is considered a Christmas classic? I mean, this piece of tripe is so bad it approaches Rudolph's Shiny New Year territory. And yes, in case you're interested, I have seen every single Christmas special ever made — even Jack Frost and The Easter Bunny is Coming to Town, thank you very much.

A Year Without a Santa Claus
 

3. The "I Believe in Santa Claus" Number from The Year Without a Santa Claus

While some of us gay folk are known for our cynicism and biting repartee, we're mostly secret romantics and unabashed sentimentalists at heart (the cynicism is just a feeble, pathetic disguise, natch).

There is no more sentimental and schmaltzy a moment in all of Christmas Special-dom than "I Believe in Santa Claus", sung by Mickey Rooney in The Year Without a Santa Clause. Rooney, playing Santa Claus in disguise, is asked point-blank by a Santa-disbelieving child if he believes in, well, himself.

"I believe in Santa Claus like I believe in love," Santa sings. "I believe in Santa Claus and everything he does. There's no question in my mind that he does exist. Just like love, I know he's there, waiting to be missed."

It's all very meta, and sort of weirdly self-reverential. But I still love this moment and this song.

I'm not sure why this is gay exactly. It just is.

The Winter Warlock and a strapping Kris Kringle

4. The Winter Warlock Stops Resenting Twinks

Kris Kringle might be unremittingly straight, but not so the Winter Warlock.

What, you thought the reason he was so feared was because he terrorized the mountain and practiced evil black magic? Well, yes, but mostly it's because he's gay and old.

It's a cold, cold world out there for older gay folks — more so when you're literally made of snow.

The original, unbroadcast ending to the "Put One Foot in Front of the Other" number? The Winter Warlock joins the local chapter of S.A.G.E. and asks the Burl Ives' snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer out on a date (insert obligatory "blue balls" joke here).

Gurrrrrrrl...

5. The "Ethel Rosenberg" Scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas

I'm actually surprised more people don't comment on the gay content in the scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas where the Grinch rages:

"To someone who does not understand this, a homosexual is what I am because I have sex with men, but really this is wrong. A homosexual is somebody who, in 15 years of trying, cannot get a pissant anti-discrimination bill through the city council. A homosexual is somebody who knows nobody and who nobody knows. Who has zero clout. Does this sound like me?"

Or wait. Am I getting the Grinch confused with Roy Cohn in Angels in America?

Okay, so I got a little punchy on these last two.

Incidentally, the Miser Brothers are back! ABC Family will air A Miser Brothers' Christmas, new adventures of those fan favorites from The Year Without a Santa Claus, on December 13th. I am so there!

And be sure to check back next week when we tackle the gay factor of the fruitcakiest of television holiday traditions: The Christmas Variety Hour.