IMHO "Merlin" (1: 9): The Sword and the Stoner

I confess I'm still getting used to this whole "hoyay" thing. Gay subtext, I understand. But projected gay subtext where it can all be in the mind of the viewer? That's ridiculously open-ended, isn't it?

Still, even on the "wishful thinking" front, there wasn't much hoyay between Merlin and Arthur in "Excalibur," last night's episode of Merlin (although Merlin did admit, "You could say there's a bond between us").

Still, there were some serious Brokeback-Camelot sparks flying between Arthur and King Uther, who said to him, "You mean more to me than anything I know — more than my own kingdom, and certainly my own life."

Granted, the characters are father and son, which is admittedly very creepy, but if fans of Supernatural can overlook the fact that they're supposed to be brothers, I can overlook that.

And did you catch the way the Black Knight was eyeing Arthur?

Okay, that last comment was (1) truly icky, and (2) entirely made up, because, well, the Black Knight was a "wraith" — a dried and desiccated husk of a body that had been risen from the dead by the witch Nimueh for the purpose of getting revenge on Uther, who had killed the knight 20 years before.

Still, he looks pretty good for a desiccated husk, don't you think? 

I actually thought the episode worked quite well — which is a good thing because, frankly, some of the show's recent installments stank more than, well, a dried and desiccated husk that had been dead 20 years.

Or would that stink? Maybe not. Anyway, I digress.

What's fun about these "before-they-were-famous" retellings is having familiar plot elements show up in unexpected ways, and that's what happened again last night. When Arthur impetuously (as usual) challenges the Black Knight, both Uther and Merlin plot for a way to get him out of the fight (since, naturally, you can't kill someone who's already dead, so Arthur is certain to lose).

Merlin has the dragon help him create a magical sword with which Arthur can kill the knight — but it comes with a serious warning: only Arthur must wield the sword, or disaster will ensue. Kind of like when Adam Sandler does serious roles (or comedic ones, for that matter).

Meanwhile, Uther drugs Arthur and — of course! — insists on using the aforementioned magical sword. The dragon is so upset that he demands that Merlin hide the sword somewhere where no one can ever find it — like in a remote lake where we, the Camelot-savvy viewer, know Arthur will eventually get it back from the Lady of the Lake.

In short, we've got some nicely satisfying plot complications superimposed on top of the existing legend of Excalibur. 

Plus, we got to finally learn why Uther has such a stick up his butt about magic (because he made a deal with Nimueh to make sure he got an heir, but the price for his wish ended up being the life of his wife). I'm glad to know this, because Uther's irrational hatred of magic was really starting to annoy me. I'm also much less likely to do that whole "wish-bone" thing every Thanksgiving.

Oh, and the episode also had Anthony Stewart Head shirtless, which is a good thing if you're a fan (as I am). Anyone up for writing some Anthony Stewart Head/Victor Garber "over-50" slash-fiction? I'd read that.