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Battle of the Network Gays for May 8
Every Friday we pick the gays in television who have had the best week and leave it to you, the keepers of the flame, to decide who will be crowned Gay of the Week and enjoy their own fancy button over on the left. We'll announce the winner on Monday, and that champ will reign until a new set of challengers are introduced the following Friday to try to steal his title. Last week you voted American Idol hopeful Adam Lambert into the throne for the FIFTH time ... will he be able to fend off these three challengers to hold on to the throne for a record SIXTH time in 2009? Check them out, and vote for your favorite! This week's contenders:
Vote for your favorite by 8 AM EDT on Monday, May 11. And be sure to check back next week to see which gay our readers have carried to glory! Submitted by on Fri, 2009-05-08 15:45. |
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Hyphen
Wandell-Walker? Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's no indication Scotty changed or hyphenated his name. Maybe it's just the feminist in me who refuses to give up my name "from home" (as we say back home), but this is weird to see.
Out of curiosity, how many of the gay men out there would/did hyphenate their name in a partnership or marriage?
In spain
Nobody changes is name after marriage, and only very conservative women like to be named by his husband name
Gay Names
Most of the dyke and gay couples I know both change their name to a hyphenated name (if they change it at all) so it's reasonable to think that both Scotty and Kevin would hyphenate.
Since we are not really dealing with a husband taking a daughter from her father (when it comes to gay and dyke couples) I don't think the feminist analysis applies.
Unlike the past, we are essential talking about a marriage of two people with equal societal standing where one does not "own" the other.
I think the hyphenated names is more a sign of wanting to be seen a connected and united, as "one" while still maintaining your own identity when it comes to gay and dyke couples particularly if there are children involved.
I think this kind of thing is one of many reasons why I'd prefer it if all American couple (regardless of gender) were civilly partnered rather than "married" because the two imply such different things and traditional "marriage" doesn't even really apply to straight couples anymore.
There is a lot of horrible baggage that comes with the word "married". The whole concept of being "married in the eyes of god" with one partner being expected to "obey" the other should be left to the churches.
"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common." (Dorothy Parker)
Names
so it's reasonable to think that both Scotty and Kevin would hyphenate.
I'm pretty sure we've heard Kevin refer to himself simply as Walker this season, and has been called such on this site as well. So there's no reason to think either one of them has in fact changed their name. I guess my thought is - keep them both with their original last names until we hear differently. Otherwise, just changing Scotty's name is, to me, somewhat suggestive of "feminizing" him in the relationship. In most (straight, at least) couples I know in America that hyphenate, it's the woman who hyphenates only, while the man keeps his original name. So, if only Scotty's name is written in this way while Kevin maintains just "Walker", it smacks of making him "the wife."
Since I don't live inside Brian's head, I can't speak for him.
If you want to know what Brian ment or intended by calling Scotty "Wandell-Walker" you might want to ask him directly rather than just assuming his meaning. I took it just to be his way of indicated that they were married. Perhaps if Kevin has been on the list, he'd have called him "Walker-Wandell" Again, I have no idea and since Scotty is a fictional character, we can't ask him if he minds.
I don't think of gay and dyke couples in heterosexual terms (because I'm a lesbian) so regardless of whether both men changed/hyphenated their names or only one changed/hyphenated his name, I would never think of other one of them as the "wife". That just seems very old-fashioned to me.
Whether or not a particular person (male or female) is "feminine" or "masculine" is an individual thing having to do with how they natually express themselves. It has nothing to do with a hyphenated name doesn't necessarily impact their "role" in their relationship.
Is a straight married man who hyphenates his name "the wife"? What if he's a straight stay-at- home dad?
Why are folks so quick to attribute straight gender role architypes to gay/dyke couples?
For me, regardles of what "duties" members of a couple take within their relationship, the fact that gay/dyke couples involve two men or two women sharing their lives together changes the script from traditional ideas of how the members of a couple relate to each other when one is a man and the other is a woman.
Scotty is not the "woman" or the "wife" and neither is Kevin (and this has nothing to do with whether or not folks think one or the other of them is more or less "butch")
They are both men, they are both "partners" or "husbands" (if you must).
There is nothing inherently feminizing about a hypenated name. Loads of straight couples have been taking each other's names and forming hyphenated names since the 70s.
It's not new or radical or inherently gender-scripted now a days to hyphenate your name when you get married (particularly if you're gay or lesbian)
As an aside, I think it's really weird how folks read the Kevin and Scotty relationship sometimes. Even down to the fact that Scotty prefers to do the cooking for large family gatherings. He's a freaking chef! He loves to cook. Where's the mystery?
"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common." (Dorothy Parker)
Names
If you want to know what Brian ment or intended by calling Scotty "Wandell-Walker" you might want to ask him directly rather than just assuming his meaning. I took it just to be his way of indicated that they were married. Perhaps if Kevin has been on the list, he'd have called him "Walker-Wandell" Again, I have no idea and since Scotty is a fictional character, we can't ask him if he minds.
I don't think of gay and dyke couples in heterosexual terms (because I'm a lesbian) so regardless of whether both men changed/hyphenated their names or only one changed/hyphenated his name, I would never think of other one of them as the "wife". That just seems very old-fashioned to me.
There is nothing inherently feminizing about a hypenated name. Loads of straight couples have been taking each other's names and forming hyphenated names since the 70s.There seems to be two topics getting mixed up here - one: why Scotty's name was written this way and two: what real people do with their names and why.
As for the first, I didn't ask you to go inside Brian's or Scotty's head. I merely raised the question of why it was presented this way when I'm almost positive we've seen Kevin's name written on this site as Walker since their marriage and there's absolutely no evidence of Scotty changing his name. If, as you say, it's common for both members of a homosexual couple (the relative few I know in LTR haven't done so, which is why I wanted a larger "sample") to change names, then how come we haven't seen Kevin as W-W, and this is the first time that I know of that we've seen Scotty as such? We don't need any indication that they're married - I'm pretty sure we already all know that.
Further, I'm not assuming any meaning on Brian's behalf. I'm just pointing out it's unsupported from the show, inconsistent with how the couple has been treated on this site to date, and may have some unintended connotations.
Which brings me to the second topic, I actually agree with you. I think any sort of connotation regarding gender roles in relationships (gay or straight) based solely on names, personalities or behavior is ridiculous. I will argue until I'm blue in the face against people who consider Scotty (or Kevin) the "woman" in the relationship, which is why I was bothered by this particular poll. The fact remains that to the world at large, regardless whether you keep your name, take a married name, or hyphenate - or if any of these strategies are becoming more commonplace, your name upon marriage can have both positive and negative implications about your identity both in the relationship and as an individual.