Cher and Xtina to star in biggest drag queen movie ever that has nothing to do with drag queens

It has been announced that Cher (you may have heard of her?) will be returning to movie screens for the first time in a decade and in he first on-screen singing role ever in the upcoming musical Burlesque, which co-stars Christina Aguilera as a promising pasty-twirler who is taken under the wing of Cher's wizened-but-lovable theater owner.

A story about a small-town Iowa girl who heads to the big city and becomes a huge star selling her body? I can identify! (Crickets)

This actually kind of sounds like a modern-day Gypsy, only without all the creepy mommy issues (or with completely new creepy mommy issues) as seen through the lens of Baz Luhrmann and sponsored by the remaining Pussycat Dolls.

Let's hope that Cher can at least bring some class to what otherwise could very well wind up looking like a castoff number from the Spike Awards.