"Dancing With the Stars" recaplet (Ep. 7.08): "I christen thee Sir Dancealot"

After last week's dancefloor massacre, which left one disturbingly muscular frontrunner out of the competition and several others wounded, the nine remaining dancers were back this week to perform either the samba or the tango. (Or something that really resembled neither.)

For the whole shebang, click after the jump!

Considering that Lance and Lacey were in a bit of a "damned if you do, damned if you doble" situation with the judges (who alternately berate them for being too formal or not formal enough), they were in a bit of a tough spot this week when it came to designing their performance. Would they be able to finally find the balance the judges are looking for?

We'll find out. But before we get to that, can we just talk for a second about the gloriousness that was Rocco DiSpirito's samba routine?

Now, I'm not going to go the easy route and talk about how, despite the fact that Lance Bass is the show's openly gay contestant, Rocco's routine was screaming-handbags-full-of-rainbows gay. I won't even mention that when I just Googled his name to check the spelling Google suggested "rocco dispirito girlfriend' as a related search. 

Because in the end, it takes a man incredibly secure in his sexuality to come out in a pink ruffled pirate shirt and heels and shake his bon-bon to a frigging Peter Allen song.

Unfortunately, all the pelvic thrusts and tear-away sleeves that the bachelorette party stripper industry could offer can't save Rocco from the fact that he is the most exquisitely unmusical person to ever take the DWTS stage. But with that adorkable smile, do we even really care?

SAVE ROCCO!

As for Lance and Lacey, I admit I was a bit nervous when I saw that Lance was taking eyeliner tips from the late, great Tammy Faye Messner. WTF?! But when the routine started I realized that they were doing a "living doll" kind of thing, which was either a nod to that *Nsync video where they were all puppets or to Marie Osmond's Overpriced, Soul-Devouring Babydoll Collection, I couldn't tell which.

And am I wrong, or is this the first routine that has ended with the man actually breaking the neck of his partner?

In the end, Lance and Lacey knocked it out of the park with the perfect balance of form and flair (although the moment when Lance wagged his tongue at her was a bit much, wasn't it?). The judges loved it and considering that with the carryover scores from last week they were in fourth place going into last night, the added bank from the judges definitely put them through to next week. And to top it off, Len even showed his inner pun geek when he giddily christened Lance "Sir Dancealot". (What, am I writing for this show in my sleep or something?)

So what'd you guys think of last night's show?