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As we go into the weekend, here's a handy shortlist of the biggest stories of the week on AfterElton.com. And to get you into a playful mood, each Friday's final post will feature a pic up top that desperately needs captioning. Each week we'll pick our fave suggestion from the comments and run it in the following week's post. Have fun!

• Our exclusive, first-hand coverage of the Television Critics Association conference (courtesy of our jet-setting editor, Michael Jensen) continued. Here's Our exclusive Star Trek movie news, our chat with Nigel Lythgoe, Days 4-6 (Carson Kressley! Shirley MacLaine!), The FOX panel (responding to their failing GLAAD grade), Days 7-8 (Do Not Disturb! Joss Whedon!), Day Nine (Brothers & Sisters! Scrubs!), and Day Ten (Desperate Housewives! Ugly Betty!).
• We reviewed the new revival of Damn Yankees, starring out multiple-threat Cheyenne Jackson.
• We looked at what it's like being gay in the writer's room of a television show.
• I sat across from a male supermodel and all you got was this lousy blog post.
• Gay soaps! Over on Forbidden Love Olli, Christian and Gregor did a swimsuit shoot. No, seriously. Luke had Daddy Issues (with two different dads!) on As the World Turns. And over on Hollyoaks, Kieron stood up for himself against John Paul's mom. 
• We liked Mamma Mia! ... but not nearly as much as your mom will.
• The Emmy nominations were pretty darn gay. Big congrats to Neil Patrick Harris and Bryan Fuller!
• GLAAD released their report on the networks, with ABC once again coming in tops.
• We recapped the fifth ep of Design Star, in which we lost a member of Team Gay that we didn't initially even know we had. 
• Over on The Gay Geek, Lyle dished on some YAOI scandal and what's gay at E3.

Keith brings the smolder to Project Runway

• We recapped the first episode of Project Runway Season 5, in which one of the seven gay contestants was sent packing.
• We reviewed some new gay summer books.
• Shear Genius managed to retain all its gays for another week.
• In How'd I Miss My Coming Out? Dan tried to make a dress. In third grade.
• Six gays on the new season of Top Design! But does anyone even care?
• On My Life on the D-List, Kathy's attempts to open a school in Mexico left her red-faced. Literally.
• We reviewed The Dark Knight, in which Heath Ledger delivers the performance of his career. Again.
• The Flying Monkey was back to answer reader questions.
• Vlogs!: We launched a fancy new Sordid Lives Vlog hosted by creator Del Shores and husband/star Jason Dottley. The Gay Agenda tackled that pesky "Obama is a terrorist, ha-ha!" New Yorker cover. And the OutFirst Authors series continued as John sat down with Broadway author Seth Rudetsky. And last but certainly not least, with a new season of Project Runway comes a new season of The Heidi Chronicles! In the first episode Jack and Kevin from Season 4 stop by.
• And thanks to associate editor Dennis Ayers, we had the Best.Gay.Week.Ever.

Drop your caption ideas in the comments, and check out last week's winner after the jump!

Today on As the World Turns, Luke and Noah make fast friends with the latest farm resident, Uncle Jack's floozy girlfriend, Janet. (aka Juicy Damnit!).  The boys are surprised that Janet and Jack are having sex right there under Grandma Emma's roof. The shameless (though practical) hussy suggest that they ignore Emma's strict "gay boys in separate bedrooms" policy and find a way to mess around. "Rules are made to be broken," she says. By the boys' expressions you can see they are taking that advice to heart. This is not going to end well, I think.  Uh, doesn't Momma Lily own a hotel in town? If they need some alone time why doesn't Luke just swipe a room key from the front desk?

Later Luke gets called to the hospital where he finds out his Mom tried to run over Carly (aka Quaker Oats Lady). Momma Lily has her panties in a murderous bunch because Holden admitted to having an affair with Carly. 

Holden tries to explain things to his son, but will Luke be more forgiving than his Mother? Find out in today's clips after the break....

John and Colin are back with another season of the celebrated Heidi Chronicles vlog, and for their premiere episode they've brought out the big guns ... namely, those attached to the torsos of Project Runway Season 4 faves Jack Mackenroth and Kevin Christiana!

Check it out after the break!

The week's episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D list brings Kathy's obsessive jealousy of Oprah Winfrey to the forefront, and it results in a trip to Mexico and the tragic abuse of of a Kathy pinata.

We begin with Kathy trying to figure out some way to become "the red-headed Oprah," and she hatches a plan to open a school for girls in Mexico, the same way Oprah did in Africa. Of course, she doesn't have Oprah's power or millions of dollars, so she settles on remodeling the library of an existing school (but still insists in renaming the whole school "The Kathy Griffin Leadership Academy").

Comedian Michael McDonald (from MadTV) shows up to lend moral support, but I'm too distracted to pay attention, because everytime I see him, I can't help but play this classic scene in my mind.

Team Griffin (Jessica, Tiffany, and Tom), Kathy, Steve Wozniak's assistant Julie, and a cute Apple computer guy named Patricio head off to Mexico to take a look at the school, but soon, a tragic incident will bring the festivities to a standstill:

Kathy does her impression of a blood blister

Kathy falls asleep under the sun, and her face ends up looking like chicken cacciatore, but I guess she can look on the bright side and think of it as a natural chemical peel. They head off to the school, which in all seriousness reminded me of Jonestown (or the Jackson family compound).

Kathy is shocked to discover that the students of the school (who are about twelve years old) have never used computers, which leads to my favorite line of the night, which Kathy expertly deadpans:

"They don't even know what the Internet is. I don't think they've even seen Internet porn ... what kind of country is this?"

They take a look at the library building they'll be remodeling, and it's a disaster. There are scorpions crawling all over the place, windows busted, and the entire building reeks of dead rodents and oppression (aah ... that takes me back to my summers at Vacation Bible School). There's only one solution: it's time to hit El Cosco!.

Find out if Kathy is able to "make a difference" after the break.

(Berlanti, Rhimes, Horta, Lindelof, Cuse, Cherry; Photo credit: Getty Images/Frederick M. Brown)

Looking at ABC showrunners panel, it's really not surprising that the network topped GLAAD's recent rating of the networks (as well as ours) in regards to GLBT diversity (and diversity of any sort, actually). In the above photo we've got three out gay men — Silvio Horta (Ugly Betty), Marc Cherry (Desperate Housewives) and Greg Berlanti (Brothers & Sisters, Eli Stone) — two people of color — Horta and Shonda Rhimes (Grey's Anatomy) — and four white guys — Berlanti, Cherry, Damon Lindelof (Lost), Carlton Cuse (Lost). Trust me, few other panels come with this much diversity unless actually somehow focused on that very thing.

Cherry quickly showed he had a way with quips. At one point the panel was discussing the recent writers strike which a number of the panelists had helped organize and run. Turns out there were a lot of sports metaphors thrown around during the negotiations. Said Cherry about that:

[The others said], "Okay. Look. It's the fourth down. We have to approach this." I go, "Why is it all sports metaphors? Why doesn't anybody use musical theater metaphors?" [Laughter.] So I actually got them to try to use Eliza Doolittle as a comparison on occasion.

Greg Berlanti, Silivo Horta, Marc Cherry (Photo credit: Getty Image/Frederick M. Brown)

Cherry again appeared later in the day for the Desperate Housewives panel and, believe it or not, someone else besides me asked a gay question. I guess he didn't get the memo that was my beat. Anyway, this turf-stealing journalist asked Cherry just what the heck has happened to Andrew and whether Cherry mirrored him in any way. Said Cherry:

"For me I think that the first season he really mirrored it. I actually did a scene from my life in that first season because I had my mom — and probably the only ugly moment I've ever had in my life when I came out to my mother, she told me that the only thing that concerned was that she wouldn't see me in heaven. And that was kind of hard to deal with given the fact that I had had kind of this idyllic relationship with her my entire life.

So what I got to do with Andrew was I got to get someone who was in her face, and I think I worked out a lot of my residual anger towards a woman that I completely adore because I made him this raving psychopath, and you know, writing is good for your soul. (Laughter.) And the truth is I got all that stuff out, and the thing that — once I did all this stuff with Andrew it was like, you know, I adore my mom. So what I thought was really cool is last season, you know, having Andrew and Bree come to terms again, and Bree is now kind of like my mother. She knows he's gay. Just don't talk about it."

More from Cherry and the rest after the break!

Oh, fine - Holden's totally not going to kill Luke. And in fact, Holden has been about as good a parent as any gay teen could hope for, supporting him unconditionally when he came out and even allowing his boyfriend to move into their home. But today Luke learns about his beloved stepdad's infidelities and his world is shaken to the core.

When Luke finds out that pops has been sowing his wild oats (with a woman who knows her way around a bowl of oatmeal, appropriately enough), will his faith in relationships be shattered forever? And more importantly, what the hell happened when Gilded Lily tried to mow the hussy down in yesterday's cliffhanger?!

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens! 

We're excited to unveil a brand-spanking-new video blog, courtesy of our friends at Logo (which is also our parent company, of course). As you may have heard, Sordid Lives: The Series premieres next week on the gay net, and we've somehow talked series creator Del Shores and star Jason Dottley into doing a weekly vlog to give us the inside scoop on the episodes, showcase special guests and discuss all things home-fried, big-haired, and ... well, Southern.

In this intro, we meet Del and Jason (who are also husbands - yes, they can do that now in California!), who give us some background on the origins of the series and what folks can expect to see.

Check it out after the break, and be sure to come back every week for new videos!

I honestly don't know what to make of this guy anymore. Steven, the out rodeo rider, has made this season of Big Brother fascinating to watch so far

But I'm torn as to whether I want him to stay on the show, or become a bad memory. On the one hand, if he were to eventually be voted off, I can stop watching these obnoxious people, and it will mean he won't be able to embarrass himself any further.

On the other hand, he's not dull. He is continually entertaining, and becoming increasingly — albeit horrifyingly — watchable. You already know about his comments regarding housemate Libra, but he also wondered that if Jews control Hollywood, does that mean they control Big Brother, and if the housemates say anything anti-Semitic, will they suddenly disappear from the house? (Unfortunately, this clip has been taken down, and I can't find it anywhere.)

He and fellow housemate Dan began a Bible-study group (to the confusion and amusement of the other housemates), and Steven told the story of an unfortunate accident while bull riding (involving a bull's hoof and that most tender part of a man's anatomy)

He also had a long heart to heart with Dan about not remembering much about his childhood, and the fact that he's never read a book in his life (well, one, about a fellow rodeo rider). You can see that clip after the break, and find out "SPOILERS" about about the upcoming broadcast.

It's been a very interesting week for the kids on So You Think You Can Dance. Monday it was announced that Top 10 contestant Jessica King was stepping down from the competition for medical reasons and that last week's eliminated hoofer Comfort Fedoke was being brought back in to replace her!  What?  That's crazy talk!  It was Tanya Harding in the green room with the lead pipe. I'm just sayin'...

Also on Monday, our very own Michael Jensen bombarded Executive Producer and Judge Nigel Lythgoe about the representation of gays on the show which may or may not have led to an on air shout-out to two gay choreographers. 

There's a ton to cover so let's jump right into Wednesday night's performance episode first.

The Host with the most, Ms. Cat Deeley (who was robbed of an Outstanding Host Emmy nod) starts things off by introducing Jessica King who tells us all that she broke two ribs and injured a third so she can't dance for at least 4 weeks but will be better in time for the tour.  Mind you, she's wearing the tightest eggroll of a dress and strutting across the stage with sass and ease which makes me wonder if she's faking it.  Can we get an investigative reporter on this?

For those of you that might be new to the show, once the competition hits the Top 10 things start to get a little more interesting.  Not only are the styles of dance chosen from a hat, but so are the couplings.  To add a little more drama to the show, starting this week each contestant will also be performing solos.  Right about now is when I need Debbie Allen to come in and do some inspirational speech about how this is where the kids start paying for fame ... in sweat!

This week's Judges: Lil C, Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe

Courtney and Joshua rhumba me to sleep

Friday

As the World Turns (CBS) Check local listings
Luke learns things about stepfather/uncle Holden that has him angry at his Snyder dad. Will Noah respond with a supportive hug or a "At least your dads are alive..."? Find out as we give this one the liveblog treatment starting at 2PM Eastern!

The View (ABC) Check local listings
Live with Regis and Kelly (syndicated) Check local listings
A week of Mamma Mia! talk concludes week as the View ladies chat with the fabulous mother-daughter combo (on film, anyway) of Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried. Meanwhile, Pierce Brosnan joins the Live chatter.

Doctor Who (SciFi) 9:00 PM EDT
Last week was all Doctor and little Donna, and this week is plenty of Donna with only a bit of Doctor, as we explore Ms. Noble's history and how things may have gone differently for her. Oh, and a certain blonde woman we've been seeing all season might play a significant role in tonight's episode.

The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) 11:30 PM EDT
Out humorist David Sedaris joins Dave tonight. Think they'll discuss his sister (and Dave fave), Amy?

Saturday

Color Splash (HGTV) 5:00 PM EDT
Thanks to roni1133, I now know that the new season of Color Splash started up last week. Tonight David Bromstad uses his design skills and general hotness to help a growing family find more storage space in their den. It's good to see that HGTV means it when they say Design Star unlike the Food Network, eh?

The Graham Norton Show (BBC AMerica) 10:00 PM EDT
John Malkovich and Brit comedian Alan Davies join Graham this week.

Sunday

Big Brother (CBS) 8:00 PM EDT
With body builder Jessie in charge, rumors have been swirling that gay houseguest Steven might have a big target on his back. Will Steven be on track to tie Joe's record for the shortest run for a gay Big Bother houseguest?

Design Star (HGTV) 9:00 PM EDT
The final three go their separate ways as they take us homw to meet the parents ... which also means individual challenges, something we've seen too little of this season.

Shameless (Sundance) 9:00 PM EDT
The unpredictable gay-inclusive Brit dramedy debuts its third season tonight as the Chatsworth Estate area somehow gets the impression that little Liam is battling cancer, leading to the organization of "Liam Day".

Brooke Knows Best (VH1) 10:00 PM EDT
Brooke and gay BFF/roommate Glenn go searching for a third roommate to share the rent. That, of course, means a montage of roommate interviews where everything seems to go well until the interviewee ends up revealing some terrible problem. Gotta love those classics, eh?