A "Gay" by any other name: Fun with automated word replacers!

Earlier this week a news site owned by the American Family Association (can I put quotation marks around "news site" like they do "gay marriage"?) became the laughingstock of the Interwebs when their auto-replace system, which was set to replace any instance of "gay" in the syndicated newsfeed articles that it re-runs with the word "homosexual", changed the name of Olympic track and field hopeful Tyson Gay to "Tyson Homosexual".

According to PageOneQ, who first spotted the goof and brought it to the attention of both the news site and the Associated Press (whose article was mangled), this is what their version read:

"Tyson Homosexual easily won his semifinal for the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials," the article read, "and seemed to save something for the final later Sunday." The headline read "Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic events."

So this got me thinking: What would be the best imaginable headlines, words, or phrases to reach the AFA's Magical Mystical Dehumanizor? Here are a few suggestions; drop your own ideas in the comments!

Marcia Gay Harden becomes ... "Marcia Homosexual Harden"

Eric Dane and wife Rebecca Gayheart are ... Eric Dane and wife Rebecca Homosexualheart"

The historic flight of the Enola Gay is ... "The historic flight of the Enola Homosexual"

Mount Gay Rum becomes ... "Mount Homosexual Rum"  

and Dick Van Dyke is, of course ... "Penis Van Homosexual"

Update: The folks over at Good As You have been tracking the AFA's "gay switch" for a while, and this isn't the first time that they've mistakenly homosexualized someone's surname. It also isn't the first time that they've distorted the news, but hey, that's what makes them so special.