Liveblogging As the World Turns: Ameera Has Two Faces?

Today marks the launch of what sounds like is going to be a pretty hilarious - and at the very least, interesting - story arc for our beloved Alpha Gay Teen Couple, Luke and Noah.

When we last left the boys, Noah had received a letter of marginal contrition from his incarcerated father, Captain Pervy ... but moments later the letter disappeared from his backpack. A theft? On the grounds of the Snyder Farm? Ooooh, GrammEmma is not gonna let this fly...

But today something even more interesting happens: David Burtka appears on the doorstep and asks the boys for help.

Wait, what? Oh - sorry, my bad: a young woman wearing a burqa appears at the doorstep and asks the boys for help. Okay, I much prefer my version. And technically she's wearing a shayla, so the joke doesn't even work, but honestly the Burtka/burqa thing was just too ripe to pass up.

Anyway, the mysterious Ameera has ties to Noah's past ... but is she hiding something? Either way, from what we've heard she'll really liven things up for the boys ... but will she get them to kiss again? Maybe if Luke and Noah wore shaylas they'd be able to kiss on-screen without anyone getting upset. Or a shayla built for two?

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out what goes down!

And away we go...

2:57PM EST: Preview Time! OMG - Luke is cradling Noah's body in the middle of a rural road while a fratboy screams, "They're a couple of faggots!!" Yes, he said "faggots". Don't worry, Chad - they're the non-kissing breed, so they're no danger to us!

2:55PM EST: Back in the kitchen, Noah tells Ameera that her name is pretty, and asks what it means and she tells him it means "plot device" "Princess".  She mentions that Luke doesn't look like Noah's brother and asks if he's her cousin. At that moment Luke returns and Noah notes, "Luke is my friend ... " he takes Luke's hand ... "my special friend." They smile at one another. Ameera looks down at her shoes. 

2:46PM EST: Outside, Noah and Luke look through the window at Ameera and decide that they believe her. Luke says he'll ask his folks if they can stay at the farm. The go back in and tell her and she's very appreciative. Luke goes up to get his folks. Eew! I hope he knocks ... 

Meanwhile, Holden and Lily have decided to be "just friends". Maybe they can do celibate ice cream dates with their son, or host a Snyder Farm Cuddle Party. Luke knocks and tells them that they have a problem. 

Henry just dropped a La Traviata reference.

2:40PM EST: OMG, full-on old-school catfight between Bonnie (Destiny's Divorce Attorney) and Cafe Vienna. Hair-pulling, the whole nine yards. Henry runs in and punches Vienna's date and sends him flying, and the guy almost doesn't even spill his champagne in the process. Now that's a pro. 

Ah! That creepy Multigrain Cheerios commercial again that they re-dubbed and CGI'd the cereal box into! God I hate that...

Oh, and Sally Field for Boniva! Did anyone catch the parody of this ad they did on Big Gay Sketch Show? It was pretty hot... 

2:35PM EST: Oh crap, another emergency weather report. I don't care about Staten Island without two feet of snow, and I don't care about it WITH two feet of snow! I bet Luke and Noah are Crisco-wrestling RIGHT NOW and I'm missing it because of this crap.

Ah! We break in to Ameera explaining something to Noah and Luke. She talks about how kind Pervy was to her and her mother and that he sent them money so they could survive. She also tells them that her mother was an outcast because she loved an American soldier. After Pervy's checks stopped coming, her mother got sick and she died. Ameera was also an outcast because of her mother's actions, and she feared for her life and she caught the first Jetblue flight to Oakdale. 

We cut back and they are in the same conversation but have moved to the other side of the room. Ameera has nowhere to turn, and Noah finally brings up the fact that this could all be a lie. She shows him a photo of herself with Pervy. I would KILL to see that photo, but no dice.

Luke pulls Noah outside to the porch. 

2:30PM EST: Just as Quaker Oats Lady and Matthew Perry 2.0 are about to get Kit to confess, MP2.0's cell phone rings. Kit snaps out of her Ambien haze instantly - the jig is up! What, the puppet talks, why can't he have a cell phone?

Oh, I also neglected to mention that we had some shirtless Holden action earlier. I didn't mention it because it makes me feel confused inside. Alright, Luke's dad's a DILF!

2:23PM EST: Oh my, this poor actress playing Kit has to have a grade-A breakdown to a puppet. 

Luke and Noah are in the kitchen and start their pointless flirting again. Luke notes that his parents are upstairs with the door closed and asks if that's a good sign. Um, if you get off on the idea of your parents knocking boots, I guess it is. At this point I'm not buying any of their overtures and just counting the seconds for ...

The knock at the door. GASP! It's the girl from Central Perk! The boys let her in. She tells them that her name is Ameera and that she was scared to talk to them in public because in Iraq when there is a crowd sometimes there's a bomb. Luke, apparently ignoring the fact that someone was blown up just two days ago, says that those kind of things don't happen in Oakdale.

She tells the fellas that Cappy was a lover of her mother's and that he was like a father to her. Now that her mother is dead she is afraid for her life and she asks if they can help her. Wait, help her with what? She somehow managed to get all the way to Oakdale on her own, so she's pretty resourceful. Luke is apparently suspicious of her as well...

2:14PM EST: I'm thinking that maybe the talking puppet thing isn't the best idea for this show considering that the wooden cowboy is more animated than half the cast. Just sayin'!  

2:12PM EST: Luke asks Noah if he found the letter from Pervs yet, and Noah says he hasn't and he's tired of talking about it. The two chat about classes and everlasting happiness together, and all the while the girl in the headwrap is hovering over Luke's shoulder like Hamlet's father. Hey - she really must be Perv's kid!

Luke runs off and Noah packs up, neither having noticed the Muslim woman who is essentially sitting in their sugar bowl by this point. Because, you know, that happens alllll the time in Oakdale. Noah finally notices her and asks if he can help her, and she gets embarrassed and runs off.

Noah leaves and we see her watching him outside...

2:08PM EST: Boy, there's lots going on today. Quaker Oats Lady and Matthew Perry 2.0 are pulling a Scooby-Doo on Kit by pretending to be the ghost of cowboy Sam. Austin From Days is still chasing The Blonde Obstacle, and Henry and General Foods International Coffees Cafe Vienna are up to no good in a hotel. Sheesh!  

2:04PM EST: Holy crap, they just interrupted ATWT with a special Storm Report. Get off my television, grinning deathsmask that is Lonnie Quinn! Don't you realize there are bloggers who don't leave their houses and don't care how many feet of snow there are as long as their gay teen couples are safe?!?!?

Okay, I think I just missed some Lily/Holden nonsense. I should probably thank the storm.

Noah is sitting at the Central Perk and notices a woman in a head-wrap sitting at the counter staring at him. He probably thinks she's an exotic beans rep or something. He smiles politely and she moves towards him ... but then Luke charges in and sits down with Noah. Burqa-block! 

1:59PM EST: Okay, considering that I just sat through a blood-spattered ad for Dexter (which I love, btw) and a commercial where a woman in a feather boa laughs so hard she pees herself, I find it incredibly amusing that the sight of two men kissing is the least bit shocking on this channel.