Liveblogging As the World Turns: Bedside manners edition

You know what's funny? Lily and Holden arguing incessantly about how much they resent each other like they were in Scenes from a Mall or something. You know what's not? When they keep doing it about 3 feet and a cardboard wall away from their Temporarylized ® son.

In yesterday's sturm-and-drang-filled episode, Luke was awake but not happy about the whole "can't feel legs" situation, Noah had forced his boozing, hobo ways into the protesting-yet-accomodating arms of poor Maddie, and there was a resounding chorus of non-sympathy for our felled hero, whose only visitor was a surly young girl who has as little patience for his parents' bickering as he does.

Will Lily and Holden take their fights to the cafeteria? Will Noah sober up before he visits his ailing love? And will Dusty ever catch a break with these people?

Click through the jump and refresh often to see the story as it unfolds...

Is there a doctor in the house?

2:56PM EDT: Lily kisses sleeping Luke's hand ...

And Noah arrives! With Dusty, but he's so not needed anymore, right?

Sensing my cue, Lily and Dusty leave. Noah cautiously approaches Luke's bed...

Dusty hugs Lily and leaves, but not before Holden sees them hug. He's not thrilled at the idea that Noah's there.

Luke wakes up and sees Noah: "What are you doing?"

Noah jumps up and says if he wants him to go, he'll go. Luke says "No..." and Noah takes his hand. Luke smiles for the first time since the accident.

Awwwwwww....

Blah blah brain tumor blah abscess blah blah...

Preview Time! Actually, nothing, zero, zilch for Nuke in the preview, but lots going on with the other folks ... if you're into that kind of thing. We'll let you know when we know more about which eps our reunited gay couple may appear on next week!

2:48PM EDT: Austin from Days comes to the hospital to see QOL and MP2.0 and when a flirty nurse tells him they're gone, he says it's a wasted trip. Wait, isn't he related to Luke? Um, maybe he could visit HIM?

Dusty to Noah: "You don't strike me as the kind of person to abandon a friend ... you strike me as the kind who would hold him close and whisper sweet nothings into his ear and cook him a nice dinner..." (Insert chapter 27 of Noah/Dusty slashfic HERE)

Actually, he tells Noah that he needs to go comfort Luke.

Lady Drumstick chases down Holden and tells him to lighten up on Lily.

Meanwhile, Lily asks sleeping Luke for his forgiveness. Nice start, hon ... but maybe you should try again when he's conscious.

2:41PM EDT: QOL is still desperately trying to keep the fact that she's not dying from MP2.0, and Dr. Dashing keeps getting pulled away right as he's about to spill the beans. MP2.0 criticizes his "bedside manner". Ha! Still got it...

Holden is back at the other diner that isn't Henry's getting a bearclaw for Luke. Lily comes in and tells him they need to call Noah, and Holden says that's the worst thing they can do. Oh -- PTM's name is Bert?! HOT!

Lily calls Noah. He doesn't pick up. Atta boy!

In trying to cheer up Luke, Holden refers to Bert as Ernie. Oh, that nut. Luke kicks him out, probably because of the bad joke.

Lady Drumstick ambushes Holden in the hallway to throw some shade on him.

Lily asks Dusty if he can find Noah and bring him to the hospital. Dusty jumps at the chance and immediately finds Noah at the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Noah says he's running away and Dusty tells him that's not a good idea. They look longingly at one another and, realizing that they're both misunderstood and alone, slowly move in towards one another for one forbidden kiss ... Ahhhh, just kidding!

2:28PM EDT: Lady Drums is chatting with Lily when a hulking, strapping man in a trim white outfit appears. He's either here to teach them tennis or he's the physical therapist, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Luke is going to be ALL over those exercises now. He goes into the room and asks Holden and Lily to give him and Luke some time alone. (Insert Luke/Physical Therapy Man slashfic HERE)

Luke is openly surly with PTM, saying that he's not going to get better so he may as well not try. PTM says he'll give him some time but that he'll be back to work on it.

PTM tells Lily that he's not giving up on Luke and that he has a "secret weapon" to make it work (Ahem!): Her. Oh. Oh, right.

Maddie tells Noah to go visit Luke and Noah says he's the last people that Luke would want to see right now. He leaves, presumably to find more booze.

Luke is talking to Lily about Noah and telling himself he was stupid for thinking things were going to work. His eyes well up: "Where is he now?"

2:17PM EDT: Holden tells Lily that he doesn't want to keep fighting with her but he is tired of ending up in hospital rooms. Uh, try being the one who's Temporarylized ®!

Noah: "What happened between me and Luke was a mistake -- I never should have gone there!" Gone where? Fishing? To Gayville?

Maddie tells him she couldn't be happy with him now.

Luke is playing video games and won't do his physical therapy. Just like a normal teen! Luke says he's tired of getting his hopes up and things not getting better and asks Holden to leave.

Lady Drumstick is telling Lily she's a good mother and says all the Snyders are holier-than-thou. Damn, Nana! Ride out that sugar rush!

2:12 PM EDT: Manwich Manwich we adore thee ... something something ..."

Oh, sorry --

Dr. Dashing is calling QOL in for "more tests". That romantic schemer...

Dusty gets into the strangest argument with some feisty older lady about a parkbench -- what, is he turning hobo, too? She's eating a Drumstick ice cream dessert and has a bizarre rhapsodic moment about it. She realizes that Holden punched Dusty and then she slaps him somewhat affectionately and maybe a little drunkly and he leaves. She's on her way to see Luke, so I guess I'm going to have to learn her name or something. Sigh...

2:04PM EDT: Holden punched Dusty again! Oh -- it was the same punch, just filmed again. Lily screams, "If you want to be angry with someone, be angry at the psychopath who tried to kill our son just because he's GAY!"

Noah and Maddie make out. Maddie pulls away.

She's all, "What are you doing?"

He's all, "It's okay baby, I just had a little touch of the gay!"

She's all, "All the Airborne in the world couldn't keep you from wanting Luke!"

Quaker Oats Lady tells Matthew Perry 2.0 that last night she dreamed of roast beef sandwiches and apple pie. Why does nothing this woman does surprise me in the least?