Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Chicken al Fredo

It looks like today's episode will finally bring big baddie Fredo into the light, and let's just say that our Oakdale Alpha Gays don't exactly show him any "Hospitaliano"!

Yes, Mammamiadassapicybiodad finds himself at the mercy of Fredo's lead pipe (no, that's not a euphemism) and it's up to Luke and Noah to save him.  

How will things go down (I'm thinking with unlimited breadsticks and a house chardonnay)? Follow along below, refreshing often for breaking updates! 

Alright, now who had the Chicken Con Broccoli?

2:07PM EDT: We start with The Blonde Obstacle watching herself on television. Austin From Days calls her "baby", which probably isn't the best choice of words. She's mad that the Cafe Vienna Hilton let them fall in love with her half-baked pepperkakor, and Austin goes to get her some sleeping pills. Man after my own heart: If all else fails, PILLS!

Over at the Vienna Hilton, Vienna Hilton and Henry debate keeping the baby that they made with one another. She wants to model maternity clothes for him and he asks her to dig in his pockets for his credit card. Cafe Vienna runs into Austin moments later in Ye Olde Towne and tries to apologize again. 

And Loocy is still being interrogated by Detective Clarice, until Lady Drumstick shows up to slap the donut out of her mouth. Hey, is it just me or does Loocy look particularly like Old Lily today?

At the Lily Pad, Luke didn't sleep well (Noah slept fine) because of what Loocy is going through. Noah has Luke tell his parents that Damian has a plan to help her. Down at the dock, Damian tells his thug that he wants to put out a notice that the Grimaldi Armada is looking to smuggle weapons, clearly trying to get the mysterious Fettucini Alfredo to show himself. 

2:18PM EDT: Cafe Vienna shows up at Blonde Obstacle's to apologize, but she's all, "I'm sorry, I can't see you" ... um, she's standing right in front of you. OMG SHE'S GOT HYSTERICAL BLINDNESS! Oh ... no, she just meant she wanted her to leave. My bad!

She lets her in when the baby kicks. Fetuses cause a lot of problems, but they also solve them!

Noah's gotten himself a cup of coffee, and Luke argues with Holden about Damian's relative evilness. Noah points out that they tend to get run over, shot, etc. when his biopop is around. Noah, the voice of reason! -Ish. Noah goes to leave for work and Luke's all, "I'll go with you" and Noah's all, "Uh, why?"

Down at the dock, Damian gets a call from ... Fettucini Alfredo?

Lady D just said "bestill my bleeding heart". Isn't it "beating heart"? Otherwise wouldn't it be "beBand-Aid my bleeding heart" or something?

Noah tells Luke at Java that he has a few minutes before he has to not restock the biscotti station but Luke's all, "Oh yeah, I just said I was coming to work with you so I could sneak off to see my other dad." Noah says he doesn't like it, but Luke says it's really important to him. Quick "I love you"s and a kiss, and he's off to certain DANGER! Oh and Noah, could you marry those sugar canisters? Thanks! 

2:28PM EDT: Cafe Vienna tells BO that they only lied because they were in shock when they discovered the truth. It was a peppershakor! BO tells Vienna that they still want the baby if she and Henry don't want it. Which of course they now do. PLEASE tell me BO is gonna steal the little bundle of strudel!

Down at the docks, Luke pops by to see Damian, who is less-than-thrilled to see him. He tells him to beat it, and Luke is all, "uh ... okay?" He then decides to give him an ultimatum, since he hasn't done that yet today. "You talk to me now or it's over!" He looks around for a stray candy dish to knock over should Damian give him the wrong answer...

Over at Java, Lily and Holden find out from Noah that Luke went after biodad. Back at the dock, Damian flips out on Luke and tells him to leave now. Luke complies, but then hides behind a wall and watches as Damian meets up with Alfredo. Damian gets Alfredo to admit to using his boats to smuggle guns, and when he does Damian pulls a gun on him, which Fredo then knocks out of his hand. Cue the gay! Luke runs out to help... 

But first, Zach Braff as the voice of a puppy getting a manicure! 

2:35PM EDT: Fettucini Alfredo kicks the gun away from Damian, but Luke swoops in like the gay superhero he is and stops Fredo from beating biodad with a lead pipe (like Professor Plum, in the Conservatory!). And before Fredo can go at them with a knife, Noah shows up, grabs the gun, and points it at Fredo!

Meanwhile, Detective Clarice bemoans the fact that the Snyders can't stay out of police business when Lily and Holden show up at the PD. 

Damian asks Noah to give him the gun, but Fredo goes after Luke with the knife ... and NOAH SHOOTS!

Okay, Fredo's the one that falls, but didn't it look from the angle that he totally could have shot Luke instead? 

2:40PM EDT: Luke congratulates Noah on his shooting skills, and Noah says he had to do target practice on the military bases all the time growing up. Luke wastes no time in reprimanding Noah for not using his shooting skills in other situations. Ha! Clarice of course shows up in time to clean up the mess. 

2:56PM EDT: Babymama drama ... Austin from Days shares the great news that they want to raise Henry and Cafe Vienna's pepperkakor after all, and Henry is less than thrilled.

At Oakdale PD, Luke, Noah and Damian show up and it all gets sorted out, including delivering Fredo to the fuzz and Luke and Noah's heroics. Lady Drumstick is impressed that Damian risked all this to save Loocy. 

Blonde Obstacle has a total shit-fit that Henry won't give them their baby. Okay, please tell me that this is gonna get ugly.

Detective Clarice comes in and reprimands Luke and Noah for ... what, saving her ass again? And it's not like they knew anything illegal was going down before they got to the dock - it was self-defense! Anyway, she lets Loocy go and kicks everyone else out. Loocy tells Luke that Damian only agreed to help her because he wanted Luke to respect him. Holden isn't nearly as tickled, and tells Damian to get out of Luke's life before he gets him killed.

Later at Java, Noah asks if they've fulfilled their quota of wacky adventures, and Luke promises "no more bad guys!" for a while. Noah eyes the biscotti station warily. Damian shows up and Luke tells him he can stop trying to convince him he's a good guy, because he believes him now. He thanks him for everything he's done for him, for Noah and for Loocy, and they hug. Back at the Lily Pad Holden is giving Lily a rather creepy backrub, and the fact that they talk about how great it is that they don't have to worry about Damian anymore means that they're going to have to worry about Damian some more.

Preview Time!: No Nuke. My wrists get a rest for a change!