Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Date my nana!

After a full week of no Luke (and two weeks of no Noah), the boys are back ... to pimp out Luke's grandma.

That's right, in today's show Lucinda (aka Lady Drumstick) will spark up a relationship with a gentleman caller named Brian (AHEM!), whom Luke hires to run his new Luke Snyder Foundation for Kids Who Can't Read Good.

When Lady D and Brian hit it off, Luke and Noah go on a double-date with them ... you know, to make sure that they don't get up to any funny business like ratting their hair or dancing with a foot off the ground. Seriously, Luke and Noah playing chaperone to Luke's grandma? I guess it's at least consistent with how much fun the couple has been to have around lately. I just can't wait to see what happens when Luke breaks into the cooking sherry and things really get out of hand!

Click on through the jump and refresh often to follow all the madcap, grandma-dating antics, as they happen! 

"Grandma, these days people don't have sex for at least a year when they really love them. Honest!" 

2:56PM EDT: Luke and Noah toast with hot tea because Noah has an early morning. Someone get him a hot water bottle and his flannels! Meanwhile, Lady Drumstick is sticking to champagne. Atta girl.

Preview Time! No Nuke, but they'll be back on Wednesday, and so will we. 

2:52PM EDT: Ice Truck Killer takes money from a very pleasant mafioso, and with all their talk of "firm terms" and such it's making me a little uncomfortable. Between this, the budding construction orgy and Aaron's bedside nipple-watch with Hotprechaun, is this the HoYayest ATWT ever?!

2:48PM EDT: Am I the only one who can't help wondering how much it's gonna hurt when they pull that bandage off of Aaron's furry pecs?  

"Let's go hang out with my grandma!"

Lady Drumstick asks Wheatables to go to the hotel to see some live jazz and Luke and Noah decide to go along. Boy, that's exciting. Maybe on their next double-date someone will break out the Gin Rummy! Is it just me, or did Luke give Noah that "Why are you Nukeblocking us ... again?!" look when Noah agreed to go?

2:40PM EDT: Henry just called the Ice Truck Killer a "megadeveloper". Get it? Meg-a developer? I'm here all week, try the chicken.

Speaking of chicken, Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle is fishing Gilded Lily's KFC out of the bushes and she tells him that she wants their friendship to last even if the sex doesn't. He says that he'd rather the sex lasted, too.  

2:35PM EDT: Lady Drumstick and Wheatables show up at Metro, where Lady D quickly tries to fawn him off on Bonnie, but the Cougarslayer apparently isn't interested and he makes her dance. Just then Luke and Noah show up dressed up for a night at the Roxbury and they join them on the dance floor. Okay, Luke's dance move is awesome. He must be watching Swingtown! 

2:28PM EDT: Okay, what was up with that feverdream of a French's commercial with the singing Mexican hamburger?! I thought having animated characters yell "Ai-ai-ai-ai!" went out of style with Thee Fasteest Mouse Een All Meheeco? 

Aaron doesn't want Hotprechaun visiting him in his bed. That makes one of us. He tells Hotprechaun that he can't touch him. Again, not getting it.

We meet up with Luke and Noah at Java, where Luke is stroking Noah's arm and telling him that he wished he weren't working tonight. Luke gets a call from his boss telling him he's being released from his shift, and Noah says "I'm sprung." (COUGHNOCOMMENTCOUGH) He asks Luke out on a real date and says that he missed Luke's smile. They kiss and run off to do something other than have sex. 

BTW, does Noah have a license for those guns?

Lady Drumstick and Wheatables's romance lurches forward with all the crackling sexual energy of a Mormon recruitment pamphlet. When's the "Pineapple Song"?

Ooh! Hot construction worker extras! Seriously, this whole setup has AVN Award Winner written all over it. Gilded Lily's mad at Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle (who gets dreamier by the day, no?) for making her look like a "desperate bimbo" in front of his crew. Like she needs his help in that dress! 

2:17PM EDT: Holden crashes Gilded Lily's pity picnic alone in the woods (BOO didn't like her spontaneous lunch idea) and they spat, leading him to storm off and her to swat her pick-a-nick basket into the bushes. She's apparently a bit pricklier than the average bear.

"Honey, that's nothing. I haven't seen action since the Eisenhower administration."

Back at the hotel, Wheatables is making some really inappropriate advances on Lady Drumstick and it's making everyone uncomfortable. That laugh again! Lady D is one tough cookie.

Meanwhile, Hotprechaun's dad tells him that there's a girl that thinks he's hot, leading Hotprechaun to tell him to quit before they spill into the HoYay abyss. Too late! 

Over at Metro, Henry and Bonnie are preparing for an onslaught of Cubs fans. Bonnie snaps at Henry for improperly unloading cases of beer.  

Back at the construction site, there's more talk about contaminated soil and the development being held up. THEY MOVED THE GRAVESTONES BUT THEY DIDN'T MOVE THE BODIES!!! 

2:07PM EDT: We start off with Bonnie, Meg and Ice Truck Killer standing behind the biggest podium in history at some sort of zoning committee hearing with the township council. What's up with the pickled fella on the left? Someone got up on the wrong side of the oh wait a minute...

The Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle is walking with his shirt open talking animatedly with a rather woofish contractor. I think I saw this one already ... when does Jeff Stryker show up? Gilded Lily shows up with a picnic to ruin everything.

Back at Pity Me Ranch, GrammaEmma talks to Holden. Yawn...

And at the hospital, Dr. Not-As-Dashing warns Hotprechaun about crossing paths with Allison now that they're back at the hospital. Yawn...

Shirtless Aaron on his sickbed? Not-As-Yawn... 

Okay, where the hell are our gays?

Ah! Here they are. They meet up with Lady Drumstick at the hotel, who tells them that she found a good guy to work for Luke's foundation. She introduces Brian Wheatley to Luke and "his friend". Noah's gotten a haircut. Oh, Brian just made creepy-eyes at Lucinda and she laughed like she was about to make a deal that would rob a mermaid of her beautiful singing voice.