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Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Do they have sharks in St. Olaf?
Yes, we're back to liveblog the rapidly downward-spiraling gay storyline on As the World Turns, which has maiden aunts Hot Gay Teens Luke and Noah putting aside their own physical needs and natural romantic attractions in favor of helping a complete stranger with tenuous ties to Noah's murderous father secure American citizenship. And they say kids these days lack focus! Anyway, the title of today's liveblog refers to a reality that I've been reluctant to admit but which the crushing dread I'm feeling upon having to do this liveblog has made clear: Nuke has jumped the shark. Others might say that the shark came months ago ... that Nuke "jumped the mistletoe" or "jumped the Aberzombies" or even "jumped the Pervy". But even though I held on as long as I could, the utter ennui that has plagued me since the arrival of Ameera makes it clear that this plot device is essentially a death sentence for the boys. The mainstream coverage of the lack of Nuke nookie might be drawing the spotlight to the situation, but will it actually lead the PTB to change? I don't know anymore. But I do know I have to keep liveblogging these two come hell or high water (neither of which are entirely out of the question), so here we go. Click on through and refresh often for breaking whine! Let's see what's going on at the Snyder Home for Neutered Gay Teens and Iragi Refugees, shall we? 2:54PM EST: Homeland security shows up and take Ameera away for questioning. They give Lily a card with a number to call in the morning to see how she's doing. It's just like having your car towed! Noah vows to do something about it. Wow, Quaker Oats Lady just had a HOT sepiatoned nightmare involving the cackling puppet, Kit, and the hunting rifle from Match Point. She goes downstairs to find Parker in the living room ... staring at the puppet! Preview Time! Luke tells Lily and Holden that Noah has decided to marry Ameera in order to keep her in the country. If you tell me you didn't see that one coming, I've got a bridge right down the street that I can sell you real cheap. We'll be back tomorrow to document all the ridiculousness! 2:49PM EST: Back in the alley, Luke tells the Feds that Ameera is inside and they go in. Noah is pissed that he cooperated. The Feds go up to Ameera and when they try to take her away after identifying themselves, Casey stupidly punches him. Clever boy! The arrest him and seconds later are in the police station booking him. Meanwhile, Ameera has run out, and Noah and Luke somehow get her back to the farm. Lily and Holden are less than thrilled with the idea that Nukemeera has just fled from a federal investigation, but it's nothing that a little loofah action won't help them forget! Oh, the I Can Only Imagine Christian Anthems collection commercial ... again! And we wonder why the Muslim girl and the gay boys are getting the short end of the stick. I Can Only Imagine. 2:43PM EST: You know, I really feel for Van and Jake. Van in particular is really doing everything to get across that there's a spark in this relationship despite the fact that the characters have been castrated. 2:37PM EST: Oh come ON... Luke and Noah are nuzzling on a bench outside and move to kiss, and we CUT! Literally split-second before their lips touch. A post-shower-nookie Holden gets a strange phonecall from a man asking for Ameera... We cut back to the Alley of Gay Sin and Luke and Noah are apparently making out - we don't know, because WE ONLY SEE THEIR FEET. Two men from homeland security interrupt them and say they're looking for Ameera. Notice that the Feds couldn't care less that the boys are making out? If only the show treated them with such respect. 2:24PM EST: Holden in the shower! Woo-hoo -- oh, there's Lily. She looks like she's going to be sick. Maybe it's the awful love ballad that they're playing? Back at the mixer, Luke and Noah check with Ameera, and she says she might just not be ready for this kind of thing. She goes back inside and Luke tells Noah to give her some time, that she's a smart girl. How'd they get the rights to use Rihanna, btw? Casey is checking out Ameera, or at least looking at her as the shyly eats corn chips by herself. Matt picks up on it and comes over to her to ask her to dance for Casey and he talks to her in that loud way that Americans have of yelling at people that they don't think speak English. Noah and Luke don't recognize Matt for some reason and decide not to interrupt. Matt tells Ameera that his friend wants to dance with her and when she says no he says, "come on, he's cute!" He also notes that "it's been a while and he might be a little bit rusty". Okay, their dialog is officially more loaded than Luke and Noah's at this point. Ameera actually looks like she's enjoying herself dancing with Casey (don't they both dance like babies in diaper commercials?), so Luke and Noah go outside to "get some air". Oh, sorry -- did I use ironic quotation marks? No, I really meant that they went out to get some air. What the hell else would I mean?! 2:16PM EST: Holden and Lily are flirting and he goes to take a shower and asks, "Wanna join me?" Um ... actually, I do. Nukemeera arrive at the honky-tonk and Ameera instantly says "back in St. Olaf parties aren't like this". Sigh. A guy from her global studies class comes over and flirts with her and asks if Noah is her boyfriend. Luke comes back with their diet sodas and says, "uh no, he's MY boyfriend." The guy is of course relieved. He leaves when she doesn't respond and says she'd rather dance with Noah instead. Meanwhile, Casey and Matt and Whatshername arrive and of course they're conveniently in the same third-wheel situation. Oh, you subtle scab writers and your clever leitmotifs! Noah says that his first dance is with Luke but that she should dance with the Global Studies guy right next to them. A few minutes later the boys are dancing and the Global Studies guy is getting a bit too close to studying Ameera's globes for her tastes, and she bolts out of the room. Or maybe it was his atrocious dancing, I can't tell. 2:12PM EST: Quaker Oats Lady finds a tape recorder under Cowboy Jack that's making him talk. Please tell me that the Jigsaw is behind this and that she'll be in a jawtrap by the end of an episode. Someone drops another canvas laundry cart almost in the near vicinity of her! Let's hope there weren't any spunky, singing orphans hiding in this one. 2:05PM EST: Oop, first we check in with Matthew Perry 2.0, who goes to save Quaker Oats Lady from Kit. (Again.) QOL is almost felled by a canvas laundry cart in a warehouse! We cut to Matt and Casey, who at this point are a more convincing gay couple than Nuke. Casey tells Matt he's wearing too much cologne. Casey says "you so owe me" and Matt says "you know I'm good for it". Hm. Maybe he'll pay in trade? Alright, back at the farm, Ameera is already enrolled at Oakdale U and taking classes, but Noah's wounds from the highway Toaster Strudel attack haven't healed. Somebody get that boy some Vitamin E. Noah tells Ameera that she should come along to the University dance. Luke looks less-than-thrilled that their new third wheel will be with them, but he quickly invites her along. Ameera asks if she should change into something else and Lily tells her she looks great (coming from a woman with a closetful of undercover hookerwear, that's not saying much). Ameera is worried about the prospect of being around people who are "hooking up" (no wonder she enjoys being with Noah and Luke so much!) and alcohol. Oh no, that effing puppet is back! That thing's survived more assassination attempts than Ford and Nixon combined! And it has more personality. Submitted by on Thu, 2008-03-06 14:55. |
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Ratings
Someone at the CBS AWT Board posted that ATWT is now in 4th place, down from 3rd. That would mean, if true, that ATWT is now actually losing viewers. Gee, I wonder why?!?!?!?!!!
Could it be, not listening to the viewers, coupled with lousy writing? Gee, I wonder who could have predicted that?
Facetiousnous running high today for some reason!"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"
Ratings.....
Whoever said ATWT had slipped to fourth place was mistaken. It is still in 3rd place. All the soaps slipped in the ratings last week, except for B&B. ATWT had a small drop compared to the rest of the soaps.
1. Y&R 5,788,000 (-67,000/same)2. B&B 4,161,000 (+55,000/+160,000)
3. ATWT 3,334,000 (-8,000/+191,000)
4. GH 3,015,000 (-46,000/-712,000)
5. DAYS 2,899,000 (-316,000/-30,000)
6. GL 2,742,000 (-66,000/-152,000)
7. OLTL 2,594,000 (-234,000/-617,000)
8. AMC 2,588,000 (-308,000/-779,000)
Too Bad! Wishful thinking
Too Bad! Wishful thinking on someone's part at the AWT Board. I had my hopes up that the cr*p they are showing was finally taking a toll and we might get something better if they were losing viewers! It just makes me too depressed anymore!
I need to find something better to do!
"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"
Whoa!
Guiding Light was higher than One Life to Live AND All My Children! I believe the apocalypse is upon us!
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Yeah, that was my
Yeah, that was my thought too!!!
"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"
oh jeez...what is this ..."GOOSEBUMPS"?
There is a Goosebumps
Jumped The Shark
Brian - I loved that you photoshopped the shark into the screencap of Nuke and plot device
Ameera. It took me a second to figure out what was wrong with the photo. Too funny and I agree with you 100%.Now, I only read your blog to keep up to date on the Nuke pairing. I used to watch the show during my lunch hour. I even changed the time that I took lunch, in order to watch the show LIVE. Now, I'm not even catching the clips on YouTube.
TIIC really screwed up this time.
I'm not supporting Ameera, but...
Aaaarghhh!
Question for the actors:
Did I miss something?
I was making lunch and missed the first Nuke scene, but then I'm was like -so what.
I did notice that Luke was the only dude who didn't know how to dance, which would bother me if I still believed he was gay.
I get the feeling this show is going to become very unseemly before it gets seemly again.
"It's Boycottin' Time!!!" - The Thing
Not only did Nuke jump the shark, Nuke had full-frontal sex with said shark.
Let me guess, Noah learns that he's not really gay after all. He joins an ex-gay group and convinces Luke to join. Maddy shows up again and has a romantic relationship with Luke that makes Noah jealous. The producers of ATWT deny ever having a gay relationship on their show.
Also, EEWWWW!!! Aren't Noah and Ameera HALF-SIBLINGS? Incest is illegal. THEY CAN"T GET MARRIED!! So the damn scheme would NOT work in the first place.
PROCTOR AND GAMBEL NEEDS TO BE BOYCOTTED NOW!
www.goodasyou.org has already reported the pressure the Religious Right Homophobic Bigot groups are putting on CBS, ATWT, P&G etc etc.
It's ALL OUT IN THE OPEN NOW.
Love that photo: Two gay
Walk into a Cafe...
The shark is outraged when he sees 'BBQ Shark' on the menu. The Muslim girl says, "People BBQ animals in your country? Back in Iraq it's the other way around."
Then the two gay guys hug.
Getting a Grip
Okay, now I freely admit that I am not a lawyer. However, I do know that it is, in fact, illegal to marry someone for the purpose of helping them circumvent the U.S. immigration process. Given that Ameera is already apparently under the Homeland Security microscope, Noah simply charging off and marrying her would very likely raise some flags.
Contrary to popular belief the Feds aren't complete idiots. I highly doubt that if Noah charges in and proclaims Ameera his fiancee that they'll simply lose all interest. Since Noah has never been to Iraq and has no prior ties to Ameera his decision to abruptly marry her would seem a little suspect in the eyes of a typical government type in my opinion.
Granted, I know that this is a soap opera, but come on! Is the audience (excluding the AFA crowd) really believed to be that stupid?
BTW: The Jaws insert is awesome!
legality
Okay, now I freely admit that I am not a lawyer. However, I do know that it is, in fact, illegal to marry someone for the purpose of helping them circumvent the U.S. immigration process.
Research
RIP Nuke
Well, personally, I think the mainstream press coverage was too little, too late. The show is what taping 4 weeks ahead...which means we'll have to wait another 3-4 weeks to see any changes? By that time, will anyone care enough to see the boys kiss? I know I barely care enough as it is now and quite frankly, the SOB's at CBS and P&G have pissed me off to a point where kissing isn't enough now. If I'm going to stick around, I want full equality...not sloppy seconds. With ratings now declining, I don't think I'm the only one either.
The show just needs to scrap the storyline, give Luke and Noah a happy send off and let Van and Jake get on with their acting careers...at this point, the SOB's aren't going to make anyone happy and this storyline is painful to watch (although it does make for excellent snarkiness).
It's amazing! Horny American
One Word Dude
"Virginity"
Straight guys are positively obsessed with the idea of scoring off of virgin chicks. It's like some great accomplishment in their eyes. You know, being the first to stake a claim to the territory?
Muslim girl may be bundled up. But her Middle Eastern upbringing makes her a promising candidate for an intact "cherry" to pop. So I actually don't think that it's surprising that college guys would want the chance to unwrap this particular package.
But sadly for them she's saving herself and her hymen for Noah, who will need to get her pregnant in order to also get her something more than the temporary green card they give to immigrants who marry U.S. citizens to get into the country.
OK, I am officially DONE with this show.
The whole kissing thing was not THAT big a deal to me. I was willing to let the characters developed a bit more and let rural America get used to them. I think in the long run it might have been better that way.
However, this marrying Ameera for a green card storyline, which I predicted long ago, is just so offensive that I will no longer watch ATWT. Here we are as gay people in the fight of our lives for REAL marriage rights in this country and the show, LIKE WILL AND GRACE, puts up this insulting and flippant reminder that we CAN marry someone of the opposite sex for any number of reasons that have absolutely NOTHING to do with love or committment. I'm also furious that Luke acts like he's all hunky dory with the idea.
At this point it doesn't even matter to me if they go through with it or not. The simple fact that the guys give it this much thought and even consider degrading THEIR OWN relationship by establishing a fake relationship with a stranger that would actually be more legally, culturally and socially valid than any union they could ever have is enough to completely turn me off.
This is the insult that should infuriate gay people way more than the lack of a kiss.
Ughhhhhh!
This is so disappointing. I
Such a shame.
You know, at least the utter ridiculousness of the Captain Pervy out to kill Noah's boyfriend storyline was entertaining. This whole Ameera storyline is just unbelievably boring...we can't even laugh about it.
But I'm not one to give up: for one thing, I've watched ATWT for far too long to just stop watching over one bad s/l, plus I remain ever-hopeful that the media blitz will result in a massive correction in a few weeks, and, most of all, I don't want to miss Eric William Morris as Matt--this guy is just dazzling, his acting is actually too good for this show!
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Their feet? The focus was
Their feet? The focus was on their FEET?! I am sure that even if this were being filmed a hundred years ago there'd be more than FEET. FFET!! I can't stop saying it!
The only positive in all this is that the liveblogs get funnier and funnier. Or maybe I'm laughing to hide the pain.
Well...
Loved the message
Loved the message of today's show.
Gays showing affection in public is so disgusting that should not be seen and it is only fit to take place in a back alleyway. Thanks CBS / P & G!
How the heck does a script read for instructing the actors to have their shoes making out?? OK, Luke was cute with the bit about tingling and the cell phone.
Just how many of those dummies are running around Oakdale ? Speaking of dummies, lets hear it for the Oakdale cops watching the house. Is Dallas' only job to hang at the station and show off in a tight sweater? OK he does that well and keep doing it.
What's with the partying. Just a few days ago Luke was complaining about Noah cutting classes because mid terms were coming up. Do the writers even remember what took place in the past? Why has Colonel Prevs not tried to contact Noah again with whatever news is so important? Anyone else remember that Noah's mail was stolen?
Some of the posters of clips on YouTube have started to give up on the boys and are no longer posting.
Hopefully the marriage is an idea only and Lilly and Holden will talk some sense into Noah.
Love the Snarky Sharkie
Director: "OK, you guys are
Director: "OK, you guys are making out, hot and heavy. You're totally into each other. You have a burning, fiery passion that leaves your bodies trembling with desire. Now, convey it all... with your feet!"
I was watching that scene with my boyfriend last night and when the shoe-squeaking started, he goes, "Wait, are those rats?" He thought the alley was infested with vermin. I explained to him it was just Luke and Noah's shoes gettin' busy.
Vermin!
LOL ouch my poor sides hurt. Missed the squeaking. Will have to have another look / listen for that. Thanks for the laugh. Thats about the only good thing about ATWT now, laughing at it.
I'm done!
If they weren't losing viewers before they are now, and I'm one.
Another "artistic decision" to cut yet another kiss, followed by the news that Noah is going to marry Ameera...
Seriously, how much of this kind of thing do they really think we're going to take before we give up, write it off as just another broken promise and move on? They've now made a complete mockery of the boys' romance.
Don't we all have better things to do with our lives than to spend it being teased and insulted by a mediocre soap opera? Well, I'm sure that I certainly do, anyway.
I so totally agree with you
We just watch to see the
We just watch to see the cockroaches crash!(from MASH)!
That't it, that's it. I've been trying to figure out why I keep caring. I don't watch the show and I quit watching the Youtube clips because it was so awful and yet I keep reading the Liveblogs and checking the AWT board and LukeandNoahfans site and now I know! You have solved this for me. It has been really disturbing to me why I still kept coming back. Its a train wreck, or yet a terrible plane crash like you watch on the News channels. Like, yes they're gonna make it, Oh no they're not! Damn! Finally an answer that makes sense!!!
"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"
I actually thought the shark was part of the episode
I haven't seen this episode yet so when I saw the above pic with the shark, I actually thought it was somehow part of the storyline.
It's too bad that wasn't really the case because it could have made a stupid plotline somewhat more watchable. Hey, a shark wouldn't be out of place on this soap. After all, these are the same writers who wrote entire scenes for a puppet and had a couple of characters fall into a giant vat of oatmeal last summer.
The sharks rocks my world! Go Brian!!!!
Since the show has introduced a puppet that won't die, I am all for a shark that deep throats Ameera so far down that all you hear is something about there not being sharks in Iraq and she's never heard from again. Shark does burp up the cheat sheet that she's been using to con Oakdale that she's this poor girl instead of some chick hired via the internet as was the case with Cleo.
I love how Oakdale's seediest of bars is also a college hang-out (although neither Ali nor Matt have ever gone to a single class at OU) where every guy ignores the "hot porn star" whose real life sex with now dead Dusty was all over the internet, and perpetually dark cloud Ameera gets all the attention. Maybe Casey needs a beard as Matt has some major sex appeal. Heck if even the gays are all over the Ameera, we'll soon see her challenging Vienna as Oakdale's most desired and boobie exposing resident. With a voice that is like nails on a chalkboard.
Luke should now kick both Ameera and Noah to the curb as they both wanted family, and now they will have one. Lakeview anyone? The marriage will go off without a hitch as the only person having any proof that Noah might possibly be a little gay is dear old dad. Here's comes the bride.....
Luke should befriend cool Matt to hook him up with some gay guys as that guy has the gift of gab. He got the depressing girl to shake her groove thing with his bud Casey. Getting Luke some some male attention will be a breeze. He's cute, rich, horny, lustier eyes than anyone ever, a virgin, loyal to a fault, and has the sassiest grandmother in daytime. A veritable gay icon if they re-fanged Lucinda. Chris Goutman, who is writing all the episodes airing right now as per Michael Logan from TV Guide, is one messed up man as he set Nuke in motion and the pair now really gets treated worse than all of the other characters combined.
Now they are on but annoy the living crap out of everyone just as some straight couples are getting to show affection instead of the anti-female junk that Chris and his pet writter Jean Passanante have been writing for the past couple of years. Lily and Holden showering together, Austin from Days and the blonbe, and even Jack and Carly are having little moments of intimacy. Even Shrek had a moment with Meg and is enjoying many with Sofie, who has more lives than any actress on the show.
I want more sharks!!!!!! Maybe in the Snyder pond......
http://www.myspace.com/gserritiello
Anyone know
Anyone know if this vat of oatmeal event made it onto youtube ?
Keep hearing about it and would like to see it if it is possible.
LOL Sharks in Snyder pond!
Here ya go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSwWbuvEu48
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Big Thank you
Joseph, many thanks for finding that link for me.
(Did not know what I was to use as a search word and oatmeal did not work...quicksand...)
Gotta love those ATWT writers (and these would be the professionals ones, not strike scabs). The more I learn about this show the more afraid I become of just what a disaster Nuke could de-evolve into.
Again many thanks!