Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Don't Tell Grandma, the Babysitter's Gay

At long last, it looks like the truth about Luke's handsy new peepaw, Brian "Wheatables" Wheatley, is about to come out.

Following last week's awesome/wretched New Year's Eve debacle, Luke again confronts his grandma's gay husband about his secret, and finally Lady Drumstick picks up on the fact that her grandkid and hubby are keeping something from her. I have a feeling she won't be leaving Luke alone with Brian anymore once she finds out!

But who will ultimately spill the beans about Wheatables' extracurriculars with his step-grandson? Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out ... as it happens!

"The dishes are done, dude!"

2:54PM EST: Jade apologizes to Luke and he tells her that she pretty much shit the bed for both of them. Your move, Luke!

Upstairs Wheats asks if he can say one last thing and Lady D asks, "can I stop you?" She says that she can't deal with his Humbert Humbert move and he breaks down in tears as he insists that he never meant to hurt her, and leaves. Awww! I actually feel bad for the guy.

Lily comes in to comfort Lady D, who seems upset more than anything that Luke was put in harm's way. Uh ... he just had a better chance of getting lucky than she did, but otherwise I think he could have fended for himself juuuuust fine.

Preview Time!: No Nuke, but we'll be back later this week! Oh, and when are we having our first AfterElton Book Club chat about The Man from Oakdale?

2:45PM EST: Austin From Days does an exposition song-and-dance and Dusty laughs at the whole Let's Trick Blonde Obstacle To Death situation. 

Meanwhile Craig and Lucy have coffee and it's exactly as exciting as it sounds ... until Craig says, "I did it ... for Johnny!" Johnny? Who's Johnny? Answer me, Debbie, who's Johnny?!

Lily asks Luke if Brian's being a big gay homosexual is what's been messing with his head and he's all, kinda, yeah. And then he admits that he was drinking on New Year's and Lily squeaks like a chewtoy and Luke explains how he got wasted and Noah punched Wheats. When Lily finds out this has been going on since before Thanksgiving she flips her lid, but Luke tells her that Wheats isn't a bad guy, he's just messed up when it comes to sexuality. Heard that one before!

Inside, Lady D asks Wheats if he's bisexual or what and he says he doesn't like labels. She says he has misrepresented himself and hurt her. He says that he and Luke have put it behind them and she says she won't be entering into their pact of denial and that he's not physically attracted to her and that all the time she's been dreaming about her new husband he's been dreaming of having sex with her grandson.

She asks if he's still attracted to Luke and he says yes, he is. (Across town Noah shakes his head, goes back to steaming a no-foam skim chai latte.)

Wheats says he hopes they can work through this and Lady D says the only thing he's working through is his closet, because she wants him packed and out the door. Now.

2:32PM EST: Lily calls for a time out and when Jade goes to leave and Lily asks her not to go she says she's not going anywhere except to put her new clothes upstairs. SNAP! Lady D asks Luke what this is all about and he says maybe she should talk to Brian and he and Lily leave the newlyweds to have it out.

Brian admits to making a pass at Luke ... and kissing him. Lady D gets a face that says she's either jealous or she's gonna boot on the coffee table.  

Okay, which would be worse, the fact that the other woman is your grandchild or that the other woman is a man?Had Luke been Wheats's blood relation it would have been an adultery gross-out hat-trick! 

2:28PM EST: Jade tries to make a hasty exit but Lady D is all, "WHAT did you say about my boo?" and Luke tries to make it out to be no big deal. Lady D accuses Jade of "casting aspersions" and Jade seems to think that's some sort of fly-fishing term. Lily says that she's overreacting and Luke says that Jade just likes to stir shit and Jade says she doesn't and finally Wheatables screams "I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!" and sweeps the candy-bowl off of Principal Blackman's desk on his way out. Okay, I made that last part up. But is he about to spill it?

Cut to Dusty and Austin From Days not making out in the hospital break room. Next! 

2:20PM EST: Is it just me or is there a lot of terrorist fist-bumping going on in this Wee Johnny Visits the Hospital storyline? Hey, cute intern!

2:18PM EST: Wheats snatches the painkillers from Lady D and tries to duck out for a nap but Lady D says, "No, not until you ask my simple question!"

Suddenly Lily and Jade walk in, loaded with shopping bags, and the slapfight between Lady D and Jade kicks in instantly - but Jade quickly gets the upper hand by snapping, "well at least I don't have a GAY HUSBAND".

CHURRRRRRCH! The look on Luke's face is priceless.

2:12PM EST: Lullaby Wee Johnny Thomas the Tank Engine yawwwwwwwwn. I seriously think Dusty was replaced with a Madame Tussead wax statue for this scene.

Ah! Back to the gays. Wheats asked Luke to keep what happened on New Year's Eve between them, even though Luke initiated it. He says it was his fault for setting it all in motion and asks if things are okay between Luke and Noah, who tells us what we already know  - namely that it was supposed to be a big night but it's blown now because of a few drinks and some very sadistic writers. They shake hands.

Suddenly Lady D prances in shaking a bottle of pills like a maraca (MOM?!) and asks exactly what it is that the two of them are hiding from her. 

2:05PM EST: Luke enters the Lily Pad to find Lady Drumstick putting an ice pack (what, does no one use a t-bone anymore?) on Brian Wheatley's face and rhapsodizing about how Old Town is full of hooligans and scofflaws like it was Five Points or some crap. She scuttles off and Luke apologizes for kissing Brian and insists that Noah isn't as big of a bully as he may have seemed. 

Meanwhile Dusty Blonde Obstacle Wee Johnny blah blah.