Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Double trouble

That's right: It's "double your fun" day on As the World Turns! 

Despite still being hip-deep in evil daddy drama (though aren't they always?), Luke and Noah have another curveball thrown at them today when fate (or perhaps something far more sinister) sends mysterious twins Zac and Zoe their way.

We've heard some rumblings about what these two might be up to, and all I can say is: This could be fun.

To find out how Z&Z play into things, follow along below, refreshing often for breaking updates! 

"So kiss a little longer ..." Oh wait, that's Big Red. Whatever, kiss anyway!

2:08PM EDT: Hey, it's Butters! OMG, after a "mine's bigger than yours" gag, he and Ali get into some serious bongo playing. No, that's not a euphemism. Okay, someone on the writing staff clearly saw The Visitor.

Over at Java, Luke comes over to show Noah something, and we learn that Noah doesn't ever check his email. Turns out Luke put an ad for volunteers out and got tons of responses, thanks to the PSAs and stuff. Noah tells Luke that Damian talked to him about getting another chance and Luke tells him he's a good boyfriend for telling him "not a chance", but then Noah tells Luke that maybe Damian DOES deserve it. That lasted!

Blah blah Holden Clarice Starling can't arrest blah blah partial mudprint Luke in danger blah. Clarice says that she can put Luke under 24-hour surveillance but that he won't like it, and Holden says go for it anyway.

Cue the wonder-twins! Sure enough, back at Java after Luke and Noah get back into it about how Damian doesn't deserve another chance, two androgynous refugees from the local Hot Topic walk up to the table and tell Luke and Noah that their search for volunteers is over.

Over at the Lily Pad, Damian argues with the hardest-working music cues in daytime while Lily and Holden stand by, helpless.

2:16PM EDT: Lily tells Damian that they don't need to be scared more than they already are, but we know she's really talking to the guy running the soundtrack (which is thankfully silent). Damian insists he isn't responsible for any of the bad stuff, but Holden says he wants Damian out of his house or things will get ugly. Damian makes a vague threat, knocks the candy ball of Principal Blackman's desk, and leaves.

Zac and Zoe, de-gothed

Back at Java, Zac and Zoe and their matching eye makeup flirt with Luke and Noah and tell them that when they commit to something they give it everything they've got. They say they have no problem getting attention, and Zac remarks that Noah must get his share of attention as well and Luke snaps, "GETCHO HANDS OFFA MY MAN!"

But for some reason Luke says yes to their offer anyway. 

And Ali and Butters start playing the horizontal bongos for a minute but then he gets a call from the school telling him that he's expelled, which sours the mood a bit. He gets mad and kicks over a bunch of stuff. "Take that, music stands!"

2:28PM EDT: Over at Chez Butters, Little Ike Turner continues to grouse about his expulsion and Ali tries to cheer him up with her whole "meth-head pornstar with a heart of gold" routine. He tells her she's better off without him. Um ... apparently not? She kisses him.

Zoe basically gets in Luke's lap and tells him that their first great idea is to start a blog. Wow, how very 2001 of them! And Zac rapes Noah with his eyes as he tells him that they should also have a dance where gay people have to dance with straight people and vice versa. Luke notices that the Zs are very close and asks how long they've been together, and they clarify that they're twins but they're very close ... you know, in that creepy Angelina Jolie and her brother way.

When Holden calls Luke to tell him he's got a police escort waiting for him at home, Luke gets upset ... but that's just because he hasn't seen the hot side of beef that is Officer Cohen. "Officer, officer, where's your brother?!"

The twins make themselves scarce and Noah's all, "uhhhhhh WTF was that?" They don't have time to discuss because Luke has to go meet his escort. When he gets home he tells Officer Hotstuff that he doesn't need a babysitter and he doesn't like that the gay guy is the only one getting a hot police escort. Uh ... no complaints here!

Meanwhile, shirtless Butters! It must be Thursday. But of course before it can go any further they both manage to ruin it.

And over at Java, Noah is cleaning up when Damian stumbles in ... and collapses on the floor! Ah shit, now he's gonna have to mop again. 

2:38PM EDT: Damian's bleeding all over the biscotti station, and he whispers that he's been stabbed. He says no police, but Noah calls 911 anyway. Then he calls Luke and tells him that Damian's been stabbed and to meet him at the hospital. Luke, Lily, Holden and Officer McHotsytots run out.

Butters and Ali argue their relative loseriness for the umpteenth time. And is it just me or are his sideburns getting downright Gelfling-like?

At the hospital, Noah sits with Damian and Clarice shows up to question him. Damian tells her that he doesn't think they were after him, he thinks they were after Luke. This is getting downright Sookie Stackhouse! Noah tells Luke and freaks out that Luke might have been stabbed. Damian asks Lily to thank Noah for him and Holden tells Damian that he thinks that he set the whole thing up himself. Come on, now - he may be a back-stabber, but he's not that flexible! Har. Har har.

2:48PM EDT: Noah takes Luke to see the bloodstained sidewalk outside of Java and then for a milkshake. Such the romantic! At Al's, he tries to convince Luke that Damian loves him like a real father.

Clarice tells Holden and Lily that they're canvassing the area. Translation: "we're wandering around until a corpse falls onto us". And wait, how did Luke lose Offer Yummytummy?

Butters goes to meet with the Dean, and I'll be damned if the scene doesn't play out like every school-set gay porn I've ever seen. "Why should I invest any more time in you, young man?" ... "I don't want to blow it again!"

Damian tries to convince Lily that whoever's messing with Luke is doing it because he's Damian's son. 

2:55PM EDT: Damian: "I love my live gay son!" Lily's just about to start buying it. Even though she says she doesn't know him anymore. "Damiaaaaaaaaaaan!"

Holden drops off Officer Hunkadunk to join the milkshake date with Luke and Noah. If I were any less disciplined, my mind might wander. The Wonder Twins arrive and are of course turned on that Luke and Noah have police protection. I have a feeling they'd be turned on if they heard that Luke were lactose intolerant, or that Noah was left-handed. Zac once again all but mounts Noah when they sit down at their table.

Lily confesses to Holden that she's starting to believe Damian.

Preview Time: No Nuke tomorrow. But we'll be back next week!