Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Grandma got run over by a conservative agenda
All together now, you all know the words! "Grandma got run over by a conservative agenda... Walking home from Metro Monday eve... You might say there's no such thing as institutionalized homophobia... But this is also the town with the time-traveling dollhouse, so who the hell knows..." Yes, in today's show Lady Drumstick's new gentleman caller, Brian "Wheatables" Wheatley, makes his first mistake in his role as the somethingsomething of the Luke Snyder Foundation for Kids Who Can't Read Good: suggesting that Luke slip back into the closet for the good of the foundation's image. Wait a second, isn't Luke the one putting up the money for this thing? Doesn't he get to make the calls? I'm calling Wheatabullsh*t on this one. To add insult to insult, will Noah make things worse by agreeing with this idea? Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens! Okay, am I the only one with that stupid song stuck in my head now? 2:55PM EDT: Wheatables says his goodbyes to Gilded Lily and Lady Drumstick and Luke lurks in the background. His eyes actually roll out of his head, across the floor, and out of my television like a sarcastic gay version of The Ring. As soon as he's out the door Luke tells them that Wheatables told him to go back in the closet, and when he suggests that Lady is overlooking the issue because she likes him she gets all OH NO YOU DIDN'T and tells him that if it turns out that Wheats is homophobic they'll cut him loose but she doesn't buy it yet. GL asks why he'd offer to work with them in the first place if he were homophobic? Oh, I forgot that Luke drives the car with the "Town Gay" sign on top. Later, Lady D confronts Wheatables and tells him that his job is at risk and that he needs to apologize again to Luke. Churrrrrrch! Luke storms into the farm and tells Noah that Wheats suggested that the boys not be as open about their relationship and when he says that maybe that's not a bad idea, Luke snaps back that of course he'd agree. Noah counters that it wouldn't change their relationship, and that nothing would change how much he cares about him. The two share a nice make-up kiss. Awwwww.... it's almost enough to make up for the fact that Luke really shouldn't back down on this. Let's hope he stands his ground? Preview Time! No Nuke. Any thoughts on this new development? 2:45PM EDT: Wow, I thought it was annoying when people snuck bottles of beer into movies and let the empties roll down the aisles, but these chicks who sneak in the LSD-infused Three Muskateers and let them float into the balconies? And will more Orajel make that woman stop yelling at me? Hell to the no, Wheatsie! Speaking of yelling, Luke lays into Wheatabullsh*t for suggesting he go back into the closet. Wheats tells him that he should be concerned with the foundation being labeled "gay", "... especially when there are children involved." Luke is incredulous that he would equate him with pedophiles. Atta boy! Oh, and BTW, the guy that BO and AFD set Diet Juno up with just tried to date-rape her. In a gazebo. Thankfully, Parker punches him out before they can break into "I Am Sixteen". 2:37PM EDT: MP2.0 and QAL confront AFD and BO about waging emotional sabotage on their son, but I'm too distracted wondering where the rest of the cake servers hanging from Dammit!'s ears have gone to follow. Wheatables tells GL and Lady D that family is huge for him, which is why he's so committed to the foundation. Lady D scrambles to get the contracts for him to sign, and Luke toasts to "a long partnership". Noah excuses himself and Luke kisses him goodbye, which seems to interest Wheatables a little too much. He and Luke talk outside and Wheatables drops the "conservative business" bombshell and tells him that the philadendron community might not be accepting of Luke's being gay. He says he has no problem with it personally and Luke's all, "well thanks for that" and says that there's no way he's going back into the closet. Atta boy! 2:27PM EDT: Luke and Noah show up at the Lily Pad and Gilded Lily gives Noah a cute passing compliment on his shirt. Wheatables follows and when he sees GL his eyes pop and his tongue rolls out onto the floor like a wolf from a Tex Avery cartoon. But wait! Lady Drumstick appears dressed in a rather revealing little black number, and he snaps back to drooling over her instead. This guy's pretty easy, eh? "Something shiny! Ooh!" Quaker Oats Lady pulls Matthew Perry 2.0 into the mix regarding their wayward sons, and he calls Dammit!, who confronts Austin From Days and Blonde Obstacle. All this is just as thrilling as it sounds, believe me. And yes, at this point I'm just trying to use as many long nicknames as possible at once to keep myself from nodding off. More phonecalls! Dammit! in front of a reach-in cooler full of Jell-O! Hey, there's always room for Jell-O... 2:20PM EDT: Quaker Oats Lady catches Pre-Curse Edward Furlong sneaking back into Parker's room. Ooooh the oats are gonna hit the fan! Oh, and BTW - here's the handy nickname guide that Dennis Ayers whipped up a few months back, to help you keep track of my hackneyed references. Well, some of them, anyway:
2:17PM EDT: Over at the Wacky Romantic Misunderstanding Diner, Austin From Days and The Blonde Obstacle entrap Diet Juno into a lunch with some random intern. Okay, I love BO, but isn't she exercising a serious lack in judgment in eating where Dammit! is a waitress? Laxative cream pie for 2! Meanwhile, Parker and Pre-Curse Edward Furlong (who has cut off all his hair, thank heaven) lie to Quaker Oats Lady to get out of the house. And Gilded Lily arrives at the shop to help Lady Drumstick pick out some clothes and WHOA WHERE'S MY DRAMAMINE Oof! Sorry, the Blair Witch thing kind of took me by surprise. GL tells Lady D that she cut loose on the dancefloor in ways she hasn't since her second hip replacement, and Lady D says that Luke should keep his mouth shut. GL calls Luke to invite the boys and Wheatabullsh*t to dinner. He's totally not into it until he learns that a certain creamy frozen treat will be there. 2:09PM EDT: Ooooh the commercial where the woman tries on the pink Muppet dickey and laughs so hard she pees herself! And here I thought I was the only one that happened to. 2:05PM EDT: Gilded Lily is talking on the phone holding a bag of groceries, and tells Little Miss Stormcloud not to let Ethan "get into the jam again". Either she's a beat poet or the kid's got a budding Smuckers addiction. OMG! Lady Drumstick calls from either a spa or someplace with an endless salad bar, because she has produce and what looks like half a jar of bleu cheese on her face. HOT! Meanwhile, Luke and Noah are meeting with Wheatables, and when they show affection to one another, he suddenly gets the Gay Flopsweats. Dun-dun-duunnnnnn... Meanwhile, Parker and Diet Juno are giving their respective parents agita, as usual. Those little rapscallions! Submitted by on Wed, 2008-08-20 13:56. |






not funny
I know
I know...I've got a fight going on between "Grandma got" and "Going on Sixteen" reguardless of which song wins I maybe scarred for life
Fortunately
I can't even remember the melody of the song; as soon as I'd hear it come on the radio, I'd flip the station in a nano-second.
OMG!
I agree. The
I agree. The Parker/Liberty plotline is so awful that I literally can't stop laughing as I watch it.
And someone explain to me how that intern boy and Brad can't hear Liberty and Katie talking just because there's a menu between them. I love the acoustics in Oakdale.
Argh!
ATWT should be renamed Romper Room
Katie/Brad/Carly/Jack/Juicy Janet and even Holden are all about Liberty and Parker. As a side-bar, if anyone has watched Million Dollar Listing this season, the seller with the bowl cut so reminds me of Parker.
And then get those days when Gnat is not miming or Little Storm-cloud is not whining, but anything hot is curbed with talk of these demon children.
I know that I am in the minority, but I want to see more hot and weird Carly/Holden action with no talks of kids or Fily, who the writers have behaving as if she were a toddler too. Guillermo's Media Guillotine: Entertainment, journalism, politics, and popular culture.
http://springintoaction.typepad.com
It Gets Worse!
Since when did Lucinda so obviously pursue a man? She's coming off as a desperate woman and that is NOT Lucinda. And why can't she see through this guy!?
Oh and about Brian. I don't think he's a homophobe. I think he's closeted and using Lucinda as a beard. Luke and Noah do make him uncomfortable, but not because he has issues about gay people. He just doens't like being reminded of what he's desperately trying to hide.
Am I wrong thinking he looks
when shaky cameras attack!
Uh, Liberty, Hon.....
Oh. My. God.
Who is writing this crap!? So suddenly Parker is the hero and everyone should be grateful to him? Talk about manipulative writing! The fact that he stalked Liberty, lied to his parents and got J.J. to lie is completely forgotten!
And did Brian trot out every stereotype he could think of? Yuck!
What's the travesty of the day?
Brian before I start actually reading your liveblog, for future posts could you always include the roster of characters and their names (as you have included in this one)? It makes reading them easier and even more enjoyable.
As for the headline of the day, it appears the producers or writers or whoever-the-hell-is-responsible has successfully instituted another cockblock to prevent our lovely couple from hooking up in time (scratch that, too late) for their one-year anniversary.
I suppose it's nice that a daytime soap opera originating from homophobic USA still has gay characters that kiss on TV, but their lack of screentime of late combined with the pathetic excuses of storylines they had a few months ago (we all know how THAT went) just leaves me... bored and annoyed. YAWN.
Yay, Lucinda!
"The oats are gonna hit the fan."
Awful, Awful!
What a terrible, awful, badly written and nonsensical episode. Lucinda acting like a schoolgirl. Parker behaving poorly but getting everything he wants. All the adults in the storyline acting like idiots. And I'm still unclear on what exactly Luke and Noah are going to do? Ugh, just plain bad. Whoever wrote this episode should have all their pencils taken away.
I loved Lucinda telling Brian off though. That was classic Lucinda. And Brian knew he screwed up big.
Worst offense: Would-be rapist Romeo was wearing one of ........
Whoever wrote this episode needs to be fired at one. Are they going to turn Parker into a psycho as it's been looking like while Liberty gain her "maturity" (violins play) as she learns that she need not take part of the hide the salami gave for guys to like her? Or are they going to the young star-crossed lovers of a few weeks ago? Does she just want her mobile phone back and will jump Parker's bony bone upon delivery of the new phone or is she over the young one? Maybe they'll pair off Parker and Katie :-)
Guillermo's Media Guillotine: Entertainment, journalism, politics, and popular culture.
http://springintoaction.typepad.com
Gang, are you REALLY watching this trash??!!
Gang, I am somewhat embarassed that you are actually sitting thru this mess called ATWT. I have totally given up on it. I stop by here periodically just to see what's going on. Watch the actual broadcast? HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This trainwreck from what I read, is even more ridiculous than when I finally stopped watching back in early July. I can't believe that AfterElton is even wasting time with the live blogs. Why give publicity to such a waste of good airtime?
They pretty much sealed their fate with me when they got rid of Martha Bryne and hired that psycho bitch; NuLily, who I HATE! Then to add insult to injury, they got Holden-A-Grudge involved with Sister Carliar of the Lying Bitches! TOTALLY STUPID!
No, I'm not even gonna bring up Loretta Luke and the Dimwit. Two of the saddest, neutered gays on daytime TV! Wait a minute... They are the ONLY saddest, neutered gays on daytime TV! Thank your lucky stars for that!
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH IT BUT MUST YOU SPIT SO MUCH
VENOM on the folks who obviously are interested in the blog and/or watching the show?
You seem to be going out of your way to be mean.
Seriously, this blog is ABOUT ATWT and NUKE, so why bother hanging in this particular section?
If I hated a show or its characters as much as you seem to or had as much distain for the folks who the show as you seem to, I certainly wouldn't waste my time logging on to a blog ABOUT THE SHOW just to slam folks and be so condescending.
If you can't say something nice...
Do you honestly read ALL the posts?
VENOM on the folks who obviously are interested in the blog and/or watching the show?
You seem to be going out of your way to be mean.
Seriously, this blog is ABOUT ATWT and NUKE, so why bother hanging in this particular section?
If I hated a show or its characters as much as you seem to or had as much distain for the folks who the show as you seem to, I certainly wouldn't waste my time logging on to a blog ABOUT THE SHOW just to slam folks and be so condescending.
If you can't say something nice...
Obviously you are NOT reading all the posts because I'm not the only here that thinks Puke is a total waste of good TV. You really need to get over yourself. If slamming Puke on here upsets you so, then perhaps you should just post on Loretta or the Dimwit's web sites. One reason why I love AfterElton so much is the fact that we all have the opportunity to post our feelings, be they good or bad.
Ah, AfterElton....
And occasionally people even disagree in a polite, non-venomous way.
Gar vethed e-chunen; go hon bedithon na meth.
Hmmm, so you weren't trying to be mean and snarky?
Because your comments often seem to harsh on the folks on the site, not just the storyline, hence my response.
I felt the sting of what I thought was venom but then again, tone and meaning often gets lost in asynchronous communication.
I didn't mean to insult you but your post just seemed so overly aggro (and kind of insulting).
If I've violated any rules of the blog by expessing my opinion of your post someone please inform me and I will be more careful but I don't think banishing me of to the nether regions of some other site is necessary.
I never suggested you should not state your opinion freely, it just seemed strange to me that you mostly seem to log on to the ATWT thread soley to tell us how deluded you think we all are for wasting our time discussing the NUKE storyline, you know, AT ALL.
Clearly folks wouldn't be on here every week if they thought it was a waste of time.
I think there is a difference between debating the merits of the writing, acting, lighting, whatever, of an episode or the show in general AND just logging on to call people out because they continue to watch a show which you admit You Don't Even Watch.
Just like every critically thinking person on this blog I have GREAT BIG HONKING ISSUES with many aspects of the NUKE storyline but I still recognize the value of having the storyline on TV to critique in the first place and enjoy hearing what folks in my community thinks about the story and its progression.
If I JUST hated the show/storyline and thought it had no redeeming value, why would I bother?
As a person who's very much into pop culture and media, I don't ever think it's a waste of time for folks to share their ideas about tv/film, etc which is why I like AELT, AELL and the like.
Media affects our private lives whether we like it or not so in that respect I think it's worth it to talk about it.
So let's you and I just agree that we are in disagreement.
Hopefully you'll take this in the open spirit in which ihas been written.
Hey I am totally with you on almost all that is Nuke, but ......
Some one called me out last week on not calling out all people when they were less than polite, and my response was that I could only address posts those that I saw. Well I guess that it's time for me to put up, as our agreement on most that is Nuke and so many other things should not detract from at least trying to be objective.
I see Brian's vlog, as humorous commentary that for many months has been as critical of the show and Nuke. The final product could be undermined if it become a platform of all that is wrong/pathetic about the show.
There has been a lot of dialogue with regard to media content, specifically as to whether coverage of anything might do more harm than help. I am beginning to believe that if the coverage is critical, it might open more eyes to a problem but that is not all bad. It's much like that idiot from Westlife, as AE's reporting on what he said might fuel the attention that he seems to seek, but maybe silence would imply tacit acceptance or a missed opportunity that may bring a few more eyes to the stupidity, thus making it lose its present and future potency.
I guess that I am trying to say that shooting our peers for watching or the site for any type of coverage that it gives, might not only be insulting but tune out whomever you might be trying to reach. I know that I am setting myself for yet another shoot the messenger posting, but I feel like I have to be consistent in sticking my nose when I see lines been crossed.
BTW - I also hate that Chris Goutman let Martha away, but unlike many I am loving Carly and Holden and would want them getting horizontal 24/7 without talking of kids and their past lives. I know that most disagree and that is cool too.
Guillermo's Media Guillotine: Entertainment, journalism, politics, and popular culture.
http://springintoaction.typepad.com
NUKE IS A COUPLE and How Old Are Liberty & Parker?
1) I would like to officially declare this the week that we all STOP SAYING NUKE ISN'T A COUPLE.
They are both gay, in love and want to be together.Anyone who is STILL saying they aren't sure how they feel about each other is just choosing to be A BIG SCREAMING MEANY!
AS FOR THE TEENS
I know that the actress who plays Libtery is 20 (which is not uncommon for actor/actresses playing a teen) but aren't their characters supposed to be the same age? Aren't Liberty and Parker both 15?
Ages....
Liberty!?
Your declaration of?
No but seriously. Thanks for the laugh. "officially declare this." Maybe we can get the president to sign it. he he he..
Meh.
..and luke is with noah because...??
" tells Noah that Wheats suggested that the boys not be as open about their relationship and when he says that maybe that's not a bad idea.."
^ WTF? Noah still acting like an idiot, i see.
you know...I'd rather be with a character like Brian Kinney, who can be an ass, yet takes pride in himself and who he is than Noah who...well, will most likely never recover from his daddy issues and is constantly not sure where he wants to be with luke. out...not out...out...not out....GOD, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Confuzzled
Have you been writing
Now that I agree with...
...wishy-washy, spineless Noah or sexed-to-the-max jerkola Brian? Brian, of course, if only because then I'd know I'd get some...and I wouldn't have to deal with his "issues"...because he'd be gone before breakfast!
Check out my blog: http://radicalsexy.blogspot.com/
Not Quite Sure What To Think....
The show left the question of what Luke and Noah would do in the air or unanswered. But I don't think the boys will be going back in the closet. We just did that story. And there's really no reason to do it now because the potential loss isn't concrete. If Noah and Luke's relationshp had of been exposed during the Ameera storyline, Ameera would've been sent back to Iraq and Noah off to the slammer. There were real stakes. Here there are none. Someone may or may not do business with them? It's pointless. I think it's just a minor thing to put Luke and Brian at odds. Besides, Luke going into the closet would be against everything he is. His reaction to Brian's suggestion told how he felt about that and he could never do it. So I think when we see the boys again next week, it'll be resolved because Luke will refuse to hide his relationship with Noah.
But in terms of Brian, his reaction to Luke and Noah was not one of a homophobe. It made him uncomfortable for reasons other than his being a bigot. At least that's how it played to me. I think he's a closet case and his being around Luke and Noah reminds him of that.
I agree, Anthony...
...the look on Brian's face when he watched Luke kiss Noah goodbye was not one of disgust or even discomfort. It look more like interest and slight jealousy. I'll bet that they are going to make Brian be the come-on to Luke which will first be an obstacle to Noah and Luke's relationship, but then ultimately bring them closer and maybe (god, we can only hope) send them off to "formalize" their relationship, as it were.
I say we take the warning labels off everything and let nature take it's course.
Not to be off the point --
Dismayed
to put on the show and having to see Noah tell Luke is OK to go back into the closet. And then I read this.Just the idea of contemplating it.
For the sake of storytelling and drama, I get the back in the closet thing, but that exchange about kids and gays was really uncalled for. Did someone actually used the word pedophile? Or was that Brian trying to convey the intent of the conversation? Either way, not good, not good at all.
Time-traveling dollhouse?
Time-traveling dollhouse? Do I need to start watching this now?
No, not "distant gay traces" -- it's distingué traces!
It was the 2007 Christmas
How Luke should respond to
"It's YOUR job to find people to donate to the foundation, so find some progressive people who don't care that I kiss my boyfriend in public periodically."
Seriously! What kind of foundation requires Luke to be straight-acting in public? It's HIS foundation. It's HIS money that's starting it. He can run it any way he wants! If philanthropists really are conservative (I think they're meeting the wrong philanthropists because I know many liberal ones) then either accept the fact that you might pull in fewer donations OR hook up with liberal musicians/artists to raise money. He can call up Cyndi Lauper!
Two things
First, the big thing. Luke is the one putting up the money. He doesn't have to care about what other people think because they will be applying to his foundation for grants. If they were soliciting donations from others, it would be slightly different (although, have been in the non-profit arena for many years, I can tell you that it is full of out gay men and no one cares).
Secondly, I feel like James Coburn in the deleted scene from "The President's Analyst." You know, where they're in the theatre and he's not paying attention to the plot of the movie because he's too busy looking at all the little details in the background.
Anyway, it bugged me for the whole episode that multi-millionaire Lily has a 2-dollar corkscrew. The kind that breaks on the third use. Stupid producers could make some money by contacting Screwpull and doing some serious product placement.
I'm really hoping that the
I'm really hoping that the Luke/Brian conflict is just a time filler, and that Brian's real purpose on the show will reveal itself with the return of James Stenbeck next week. It doesn't seem like a coincidence that Lucinda finds a love interest just one week before her ex-lover--who is also the biggest supervillian atwt has ever seen--returns to the show. I would LOVE to see Nuke get wrapped up in the Stenbeck story, however unlikely it may be. If they aren't going to hit the sheets, it would be the next best thing!
OH, Jesus Christi
It is so clear that the writers of this show have no sense of a gay reality. They won't even let the boys kiss when Noah leaves the set. But, worst of all, today was the Foundations are unaccepting of gays line from Whatables. First off, have they never heard of David Geffen, Tim Gill, or David Bohnett, who are openly gay and have foundations with astronomical funding. There are many more but not on that level of funding.. Also, I have yet to attend any high-end charitable fundraiser where there aren't a least two dozen elbow benders, gay men who escort wealthy women to charity events. A great many party planners (Colin Cowie, for example) and proferssional fundraisers (David Mixner, for this categoy) are openly gay.
This has to be one of the worst oversights ever. Apparently one of the female writers had a college firend who knew a guy who was a theater major before he became a closeted stockbroker who restored a farm house with his gay decorater boyfriend bck in 1955. Yeah that's it.
ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.
INSIDEGUY
Well, actually...
...I saw Luke kiss Noah when he left the set...from Lily's house. And, not to get too far ahead of ourselves, this is what this character Brian is saying. It obviously doesn't make it true. This is a prime opportunity for the show to use this and say that this kind of thinking is crap and not true. Let's wait and see what they do with it.
I say we take the warning labels off everything and let nature take it's course.
Uninformed straight writers strike again!
I kept thinking it must be some really stupid straight guy (like Chris Goutman probably) planning this story. Only an idiot thinks any major fund-raising organization exists without gay men bringing in cash (and usually planning the parties). Since this whole ridiculous Luke-the-instant-billionaire story started, all I can think of is why isn't Luke starting a charitable foundation for gay teens if he's so damn out and proud?
The one bright spot on the show for me this past week was realizing that Luke and Noah ARE being treated like another straight couple on the show: poor clueless, deluded, neutered Aaron and his crush, Allison. Seriously, how creepy is it that these 2 gorgeous, young and in-love brothers aren't getting any while their 50ish mother and father are humping everyone in town like rabbits?
Luke and Aaron...
...are actually stepbrothers. Which makes the storylines I write in my head about the two of them less creepy and illegal than they could be.
well...
They aren't step brothers, Legally they are brothers because Holden adopted Luke. But as we know in Oakdale, Adopted doesn't count. That's why Jack and Brad who are brothers can both have children bumping uglies (Parker and Liberty) and no one gets icked out about the 1st cousins thing. Because Jack adopted Parker.
www.thebittersuite.blogspot.com
The Good Gay
Noah's turn around is annoying, but shouldn't be surprising. He had no problem marrying a woman, that didn't work out. Or joining the army, that didn't work out either. So why does he seem to cling to the closet? It's like ATWT's gay story must be told with at least one character who feels shame. One character who is a "Good Gay" in the eyes of bigots. The gay who knows that he's a sinner and shouldn't be exposing himself to children. Luke and Noah are two representative points of view. I've met gay men who would be closeted if it weren't for an out partner, and men who have sadly gone back into the closet.
As upsetting as it is to see the Good Gay, this is a chance for them to discuss the issue. If certain members of the audience are able to empathize with Noah because he represents the Good Gay that their pastor preachs for them to love, but are also able to see the misery that that brand of hatred imposes on our lives and ability to love, perhaps their hearts will grow a few sizes. But considering P&G's track record, I know not to hold my breath.
In the leaked script, it comes out that Wheatly had known Lucinda in the past. Had observed her own philanthropy first hand, and had remained impressed. That exchange seems to be dropped, perhaps they will bring it up later. I think that his current creepiness is a red haring. That they want us to mistrust him, so he can turn around and prove himself at a later date. It could be foreshadowing something, but I hope the "closet" suggestion was made in order to stir up the pot for Luke and Noah, so they can resolve all the b.s. and start acting like a grown up couple.
As far as Luke and Noah having sex together? It would seem creepy to me at this point, after all the stalling, internalized homophobia, platonic head bumps, etc. etc. etc. Like watching two mentally retarded adults do it. I don't know if I could believe or be able to stand to see a Henry and Vienna going-at-it scene with them, right now. They need to grow up.
yes, they are using the characters....