Yes, we're back today liveblogging the ongoing saga of Oakdale's most adorable (and only) gay teen love triangle, which finds fellow entertainment industry interns Luke, Noah and Maddie locked in a Mexican standoff of passion that would make Quentin Tarantino proud. The moral of this parable of unrequited teen love? Don't work in the entertainment industry.

We'll be blogging today's events (which will apparently involve some jealous goings-on) as they happen. So if you're stuck at work or too lazy to reach for the remote, do Refresh often to get the latest dish. (And if you're joining late, scroll to the bottom to start.)

Here we go!

2:56 PM EDT In the preview for next week, Maddie confronts Luke: "Is there something going on between you and Noah?". Luke scratches his nose and goes, "Uhh....". Perhaps more importantly, Quaker Oats Lady has moved on from drowning in hot cereal and smearing her makeup to crashing cars with children in them. Is it just me or was that shot straight out of the car crash scene in Eyes of Laura Mars? "Donaaaaaaald!!!"

2:53 PM EDT Noah says to Luke that he probably deserved that. Luke says that it's probably better that once this internship is over, they won't have to deal with each other anymore. Noah says, "can't we be friends?" And Luke's all, no -- you chose something else and I'm moving on. "You want one thing, and I want another."

Good for you! Nice to see Luke standing up for himself.

Back with Henry and The Cap'n, Cap'n is trying to convince that Henry that Maddie living with Noah is the best thing that could ever happen. He reveals that back in Missouri, Noah "became distracted" and "fell in with the wrong crowd" and that Maddie has "turned him around". Henry asks "Sir, who is 'them'?" above some hot horror/suspense music. Please please please tell me we're going to see pictures of Noah as a Missouri club kid.

2:48 PM EDT Maddie is with Henry and talking about how creepy Cap'n Pervy is, suggesting that he'd get off on watching her and Noah have sex, which is probably true. There's no talk of pepparkakor, but they do talk about Vienna. I'm craving International Coffees. Maddie tells her bro that the Cap'n did a background check on her.

Maddie heads out and Henry pulls out his phone and calls the Cap'n. He even has him on speed-dial. Huh?

After the break, Cap'n and Henry are talking at the diner. Henry proposes throwing a dinner party for Maddie and Noah. Cap'n can't believe that Henry hasn't met Noah yet. Henry reveals that he doesn't want them living together (Noah and Maddie, not Henry and the Cap'n). Cap'n of course says that he thinks his son living in sin with Maddie is AWESOME.

Back with Nuke, Noah apologizes for giving Luke mixed signals and apologizes for leading him on. Luke calls bullsh*t and says yeah, you're jealous because you're my straight friend. Luke gets fed up with Noah being so presumptuous, and says he's moving on. There's Roth, there's other guys who are out and happy and not wanting to "live a lie for the rest of their life", as he puts it to Noah. DOUBLE FACE!

2:39 PM EDT Okay, back to Nuke. Luke is at the studio and Noah comes in and they talk college shop. Noah says that Luke will likely be spending a lot of time with Roth when school starts. Luke's all, "Why would I do that?" and Noah says that he saw Roth at a gay lesbian table at registration and says, "well, he's gay, right?" Luke finds this all pretty incredible and asks Noah if he's jealous.

Noah's all, "Why do you always do that?" and Luke says, "What, have coffee with guys? Maybe it's because I'm gay!" Luke tells Noah he and Roth weren't on a date but that it's really none of his business who he has coffee with or not. FACE!

2:34 PM EDT OMG!! My favorite commercial is on -- the Stanley Steemer commercial where the dog is dragging its butt on the floor and the woman screams "TOBEY!!" in a bloodcurdling shriek that would more appropriate were the dog, you know, eating her newborn or something. Oh -- and here:

2:29 PM EDT Back in the diner, Henry appears and says "peppercocker" again. I smell a drinking game.

Nothing else with Nuke ... how much you wanna bet Noah ran after Luke and not to the registrar? I think "going to see the registrar" should be the new euphemism for a secret rendezvous.

2:22 PM EDT QOL is having another mascara freak-out. Someone please help this woman. Meanwhile, Jack flashes back to a better time, when her mascara was waterproof.

Henry the diner owner just said "peppercocker", which was then repeated by both Jack and Katie. This show sure knows its audience.

Aha! Back to Nuke and the Cap'n. Cap'n asks Noah if he and Luke are taking any classes together and Luke says not many, he's taking a lot of writing classes. The Cap'n says "awwww, too bad!". Luke high-tails it just as Maddie arrives. He and Maddie tell the Cap'n that they're taking a lot of classes together, and Noah makes an excuse about having to go to the registrar and leaves quickly.

Maddie takes the opportunity to tell Cap'n about her family. Henry (the peppercocker), and her sister Eve -- who Cap'n knows all about. Maddie is worried that Cap'n will associate her with her sister and the awful things she did (what, did she burn books?) and Cap'n says he doesn't associate the two of them. Maddie then points out that the Cap'n seems to like her a lot for not knowing her well at all, and Cap'n tells her that she's exactly the kind of girl that Noah needs. Wait, did he just call her "easy"?!

2:12 PM EDT Hetero drama. I'm hearing words that I recognize but that don't mean much to me ... marriage ... wedding ... bridesmaid ... this must be what dogs hear at bridal showers. The Quaker Oats Lady is yelling at Austin from Days and then she cries, and we go to the opening titles.

There's a new Crest that will allow you to speak to birds AND gets you a Martina McBride CD. What will they think of next?!

2:05 PM EDT Okay ... no idea who these people are. Two blondes, one of whom looks a bit like Haley Joel Osment in a wig ... and a guy shows up I've never seen before. Something about egg donors? No idea. Maybe I shouldn't fast-forward through all the non-Nuke scenes...

Okay, here we go. Luke is talking with some Oakdale himbo named Roth, who looks kind of like Zac Efron Gen 2. Noah walks up and is visibly disturbed that Luke is talking to another guy. Noah gets all, "why were you talking with him" and Luke gets all, "why's it your business, you don't own me" and Noah's all, "well nyah nya-" And then guess who appears?

Captain Pervy! Yes, Noah's Dad, who has the habit of appearing out of nowhere like Hamlet's father, pops out of a fake ficus to witness the spat. Genius.