Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Highway to Elle

Oh my my my ... it looks like it might be the end of the road for yet another of Oakdale's young folks! If rumors prove true, today will find our dear Elle Woods at the business end of someone's road rage. How will this affect Luke and Noah's ongoing Hot Tub Gay murder investigation?

Follow along below (in chron order) to find out ... as it happens! 

Gentlemen, start your engines!

2:08PM EST: Oh SNAP! My Oakdale tomfoolery is being interrupted by a Storm Break. Oh, I don't know if you'd heard, but we're currently buried in over a foot of snow that fell on us since midnight. Get off the screen, weathernerd!! 

Okay, something with General Foods International Coffees Cafe Vienna and Blonde Obstacle. We jump to Henry and Austin From Days. Henry is of course talking about his and Cafe's sex life. Bring back the weathernerd, please! Henry: "There is nothing deadlier than a woman's tears." Apparently he hasn't seen Like Water for Chocolate. They're delicious!!

Speaking of delicious, Cafe Vienna wants to carry Brad and Katie's baby for them in her percolator. 

Over at the diner, Elle Woods runs into Luke and Noah and Elle makes a really lame joke about Noah hiding in the closet, and Luke's all, "you're a moron." Luke tells Elle Woods that they're still after him and that he'd better watch his back.

Elle takes off and Luke is convinced that he scared him into near-confession. 

Over at the PD, Ali and Butters argue about who is cleaner. Ali's convinced that Butters is fixated on Matt because he's hung up on her, and that he's letting his personal feelings get in the way of finding the real killer. Hold on, when did she start making sense?!

2:15PM EST: Luke tells Noah that he had Butters tell his mom that they know "M" is Matt, when of course we all know by now that it's really that feisty Judi Dench. They tell one another that they love each other. 

Kevin shows up to check in on Butters, and Luke tells him that Matt and Elle Woods killed Reg. Noah's all, "zip it!" Suddenly 's Luke gets a call from Elle Woods, who says "you're right" and that he knows why this is happening to Butters. He's conveniently calling from the middle of an overpass. That's gonna end well! Luke agrees to meet him on the bridge.

2:21PM EST: Noah isn't hip on Luke going out to meet Elle Woods on a bridge, and Luke tells him that it's all okay. Luke calls Ali to tell her the news and she passes on the good word to Butters. 

2:28PM EST: Ali calls Matt! to tell him the good news that Luke is going to meet with Elle Woods in the middle of a six-lane highway. Good to see she's back to form! He of course gets all strange and gets off the phone with her quickly. 

Noah tells Luke that he isn't letting him go alone and they have a cute kiss before they leave.

Meanwhile, Austin From Days brings up adoption and Blonde Obstacle mistakes his suggestion for the idea that Cafe Vienna brew their baby for them. Meanwhile Cafe V and Henry have the same misunderstanding. What are the chances?!? Vienna: "I'm going to carry their baby." Henry: "In your ... arms?"

Back to the Occurrence at Mill Road Bride: Luke and Noah are their to meet Elle Woods but before they can get to him an SUV swerves to hit them, misses, and apparently knocks Elle off of the bridge and into the creek below. Again I ask you, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!?! 

2:40PM EST: The boys drag Elle Woods out of the water and Noah calls 911: "Billy Joe McCallister jumped off of Talahatchee Bridge!"

Meanwhile, over at the diner Ali is stopping in for some cubed Jell-O when suddenly and OUT OF NOWHERE, Mark (Kevin's rapist campaign manager whose name just haaaaaaaappens to start with "M") shows up to apologize to her. He has been in a psych ward and is supposed to make amends by apologizing to the women he kidnapped, poisoning the gays and running over the winners of the In Turn contest.

Kevin shows up to ruin her day even further by apologizing for what happened to her during the election. Later he asks Mark why he's bugging Ali and Mark asks if she's seeing anyone.

Cafe Vienna and Henry have a fevered discussion about her breasts, her belly, baseball and fashion (in order of increasing importance?). She wants to be naked all the time when she's pregnant. 

Back at the diner, Matt! rushes in and tells Ali that someone stole his car. Back at Lover's Leap, Detective Clarice Starling asks Luke and Noah what they're doing there and they give her the whole skinny. While she's on the phone Luke's all, "Um, can we like, go now?" Ha! 

2:48PM EST: Back at the PD, Clarice asks Luke and Noah if they saw the driver. Noah: "It looka likea man!" He suddenly gets all Rain Man and remembers the last 3 digits of the license plate number. Butters drops in and they tell him that someone murdered Elle Woods. 

The two straight couples agree on the terms of using Cafe Vienna's coffeepot.

Ali tells Matt! to report that his car has been stolen, but he's oddly resistant to the idea. She drags him to the PD.

2:55PM EST: At the PD, Ali leaves Matt! to fill out paperwork and learns from Luke and Noah that Elle Woods is now Legally Dead. Clarice breaks the news that the car that ran down Elle belongs to Matt!, and Ali assures them that his car was stolen, which is why they're there. She goes out to get him but he's not there! 

The also figure out that it took Ali all of about 3.4 seconds to tell Matt! that Luke and Elle were meeting on the bridge. See? It's all her fault. Again! Okay, maybe not...

Clarice lets the kids go, save Butters and Ali. She tearfully admits to him that he was right and he pulls a CLASSIC "go up behind to give a comforting hug but then change mind at the last minute" move. HOT!!

Preview Time: No Nuke. We'll see you later this week, though!