Liveblogging As the World Turns: "Hobo Nickels Noah" Edition

if you missed yesterday's gloriously dramatic episode of As the World Turns, let me first encourage you to experience it in all its Alpha Gay Teen in Peril glory. To take inventory: We're down one overbearing homophobic hooker-murdering father, up one temporarily paralyzed gay teen, and even-Stevens on competent medical professionals (one can't tell a brain tumor from an abscess, the other can completely heal a nearly-dead Dusty in less than 12 hours).

Today it looks like while Luke may have come fully to his senses, poor Noah has strayed onto the long, hard path of rail-riding hobodom by drinking malt liquor out of paper bags and hanging around parks. Will Hobo Nickels Noah catch the next boxcar out of Oakdale or rush to his love's rescue?

Click through the jump and refresh often to find out as it happens...

And away we go...

2:56PM EDT: Luke's brother actually calls his dad to check in on Luke. In all fairness he's busy not doing anything really important.

Noah keeps drinking and Maddie tries to make him stop. He says, "I need you -- I need what we had together!" and he grabs and plants a Mayer Special on her. She resists...

Luke is still pissed off in the hospital and throws a mini-hissy-fit by crumpling up a paper in a ball and throwing it across the room. Lily is hurt.

While outside ... Holden punches several inches in front of Dusty! And he falls over! And Lily sees it!

Preview Time! Noah comes to Luke's bedside and Luke smiles! (All together: "Awwwww.....")

That's enough for me to tune in. We'll be back tomorrow to bring the details...

2:47PM EDT: Holden and Dusty face off.

Lily talks to Luke and tells him that he has a lot of family members that love him ... but none of them were on the call sheet for today.

Meanwhile, Noah is at Maddie's place and is Drunky Drunkenstein on his vodka (which he still has in the paper bag, like a good hobo!). She is picking out a DVD to put him asleep (or at least you'd think, by the selection she has) and turns to find him gurgling booze all over the front of his shirt.

2:39PM EDT: Lily says that seeing the man that he loves might make Luke feel better and Holden counters that that should be Luke's call to make, not hers. Dusty walks in to hear Holden reading her. Seriously, can they take this somewhere else? They're still standing right outside his room!

Holden blames Lily for Luke's being temporarylized. Lily starts to get all Steel Magnolias and a physical therapist (you can spot them by their colorful patterned smocks) pops out of nowhere to crash the pity-party. They leave Holden and Dusty looking at each other like they are either going to fight, dance, or make out. (Instert Dusty/Holden slashfic HERE)

2:33PM EDT: There was just an ad for Dr. Phil, whose guest has Muchausen by proxy, where women make their kids sick or miserable so that they can help them get better and feel worthwhile.

Speaking of which, Holden tells Lily that she can't keep taking things into her own hands and that she has to stop (killing one kid was enough?) -- and that if he has to be the one to stop her, he will.

Noah has fully realized his hobo tendencies and is drinking booze out of a paper bag on a street corner. "Atta girl!" Maddie arrives (yay!) to comfort him and he doesn't offer her a swig. Life's hard on the rails, lady...

Holden accuses Lily of not being over her pill addiction. Aha! I knew I saw her rooting in Luke's bedsheets for strays yesterday!!

The buzzkill little girl comes out and says "He knows you're fighting and it's making him really sad." Ouch, You just got served by a girl with a Hannah Montana bookbag.

Noah tells Maddie that he's not going to see Luke because he's hurt him enough already and tells Maddie that she doesn't have to keep him company. Little does he know she's been on that corner for a whole week now!

She tells Noah he's got at least one friend in her and tells him that he's either going to see Luke or coming with her. He goes with her.

2:25PM EDT: Poor Luke: It's not bad enough that his boyfriend's father tried to kill him and that he's temporarylized: but he also has to fall out of the bed and his only visitors are his snippy parents and some morose little girl.

2:22PM EDT: Holden tells Luke that there aren't any guarantees and he processes the information and asks to be alone. He's about to cry. He calls Lily back and asks if she's heard from Noah. She asks if he wants her to call him and he says, "No, he knows where I am..." and wipes a tear.

Oh! My brittle heart just broke a little.

Noah finishes with Dusty and swipes a bottle of vodka from the bar on the way out. At least it's Ketel One...

Luke asks his parents to leave and Lily resists, and when outside she asks Holden if it's so wrong that she wants to help her son. Suddenly a strange child shows up with flowers for Luke and they warn her that he's in a bad mood. He looks happy to see her, though. She also gives him what I think is a Playstation Portable. Either that or an IUD. (What? They're popular on this show!)

Outside Lily takes out her phone and Holden asks what she's doing -- when she says she's calling Noah, he smacks her hand: "The hell you are!" I'm really not making that part up.

2:13PM EDT: Noah and Dusty are still flirting, and Noah says it's hard for him to talk to Luke after what happened: "Hey, how about coming on a camping trip with my homophobic psycho dad?" Um, you left out "overbearing pervert".

Dr. Not-As-Dashing tells Holden and Lily that they shouldn't give up hope but that things might get worse --

CRASH!

They rush into Luke's room to find Luke sitting on the floor with his hospital dinner scattered around him, and I'll be damed if we don't get pretty close to a hospital gown upskirt shot!

Moments later he's back in bed and looks really peeved (I think he's embarrassed that he almost pulled a Britney in flashing his giblets to the world). Lily tries to talk him down and Holden smacks down her "give him the easy version" approach, and tells her that Luke wants the truth...

2:07PM EDT: Some of the first words heard in today's episode: "Your eggs are mature and ready for harvesting." Um... eew?

Lily looks wistfully through Luke's window. "He's sleeping and he looks ... perfect." Test results are on their way, and Holden says the doctor didn't sound happy.

Noah is back at the Ruth's Chris and Dusty comes in and sits down across from him and they discuss Noah's mom and dad over the strangest floral arrangement I've ever seen.

Luke wakes up and slaps his legs, apparently unable to feel them. He reaches for the "call a nurse with or without a paper hat" button but can't reach it.

Dr. Not-As-Dashing approaches Lily and Holden, his face dour...

Opening titles! Pre-highlights, upright Luke!

Dr. N-A-D: "Not looking good!

Lily: "Temporary!"

Dr. N-A-D: "Aggressive physical therapy!

Lily: "Temporary!"

Holden: "Positive outlook!"

Dr. N-A-D: "May never walk again!"

Lily: "I like towels!"