Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Kevin Help Us!

Today's As the World Turns marks the end of a very dry spell for MASSCoTs (Most Atrophied Same-Sex Couple on Television) Luke and Noah. After week upon week of having little more to discuss but Luke's hair, we're at last getting the chance for salvation for the two plot-challenged lovebirds thanks to an injection of new(ish) blood. 

And that injection's name is Kevin.

After two years away, the man behind The Backrub That Launched a Thousand Fanfics is back to muck up Luke's life once more. If you remember, Kevin was Luke's first real crush, to whom he came out ... which didn't go so well. Now Kevin is back and it looks like he's bringing that hot/infuriating combo that made him such a thorn in Luke's side with him.

Also back for more punishment is Reg, the captain of the Oakdale All-Gay Hot Tub Team whose ex made some ineffectual passes at Noah back around Gay Pride (nothing like getting Nukeblocked by Cyndi Lauper, nosiree!). 

Will Kevin and Luke scorch one another with their smoldering stares? Will Noah turn to Reg for a chlorine-scented shoulder to cry on? And will anything good ever come of this Oakdale U. gay film fest?

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens! 

Send us an angel, TPTB! 

2:55PM EDT: The Campbell's ad with the guy who finds that the nameplate on his cubicle says "NUM YUMMY" ... I'll say!

Wheatables flies off the handle about Lady D and her stubborn family and when she asks what his problem is he tells her that Luke is going against his advice (although he doesn't mention the gay element, conveniently enough) and when he threatens to quit Lady D makes it clear that isn't happening.

Back at the farm Noah tells Luke to chill out on Dusty because he's his friend for supporting him when Luke was all Debbie Downer in his wheelchair. Luke didn't know about that and he caves, telling Noah that he loves him and kissing him. Noah tells him he loves him too and kisses him back passionately. And then Luke, desperate for the last word, adds that he just hope Dusty leaves his mom alone ... and Noah tells him that Lily showed up at Java looking for Dusty.

Gentlemen, start your cold showers! 

Preview Time: No Nuke. So how do we feel about today's jump-start?

2:48PM EDT: Wheatables is sulking at his desk and Lady Drumstick breezes in and tries to cheer him up with the good news about Lily, who went to Dusty to help get her out of jail. She asks if she should leave Lily a thank-you message for sticking up for her but Wheats tells her not to.

Luke and Noah come home to the farm and Noah asks if he really wants to run for office, and Luke says that they've got a few more years left at school and they may as well try to change things. Noah asks if this might not be about Kevin, and Luke insists it's not. Noah gets frustrated and Luke tells him that he's doing this for Noah, and for his film festival.

Noah tells him he already sounds like a politician and Luke moves in on him, purring, "what do I have to do to get your vote?" Noah of course is as responsive as a corpse and replies, "tell me what went on earlier with Dusty." Way to kill the mood, Noah!

2:40PM EDT: After the meeting, Luke and Reg are furious with how it went, with no one standing up for the film fest and Kevin saying nothing to stand up against the board. Luke is furious, saying that this isn't just discriminatory, but also censorship. Reg says there's not much they can do about it when it's in the council's hands, and Luke of course gets the idea to run for office. Go Norma Gay!

Hey, Obama ad! That's a refreshing change. 

2:36PM EDT: Noah asks Luke if that was the same Kevin he was in love with in highschool and Luke reminds him how badly it went when he came out to him, and Noah tells Luke that Kevin has clammy hands. Reg comes over to ask how the chat with Kevin went and Kevin seems to be watching them closely from over his onion rings again. Reg is convinced that Kevin "isn't on our side" when it comes to the fest, because Kevin looked uncomfortable when Noah put his arm around Luke. Uh-huh.

2:25PM EDT: After Wheatables storms out, Reg is all, "What's HER problem?" and Luke fills him in. Reg the Walking Exposition Dispenser then tells Luke all about how the school wants to cancel the fest because of losing donors but they're having the President of the Student Council make the decision instead. Luke remembers that elections are coming up soon and Reg points out that the frontrunner for office is sitting right over in the booth ...

Photo credit: George DeSota/jpistudios.com

And Luke turns and sees Kevin, who gives Luke the gimlet eye over his onion rings. Ooooh chit!

After a hilarious interrogation scene between Lady Drumstick and Clarice, Kevin walks over and he and Luke catch up. It's actually all quite civil. Kevin is all, "Still straight!" and tells Luke that he's running on a "college should be fun, party on!" platform for presidency. Luke tells him that he's thinking of getting involved in the gay film fest as his boyfriend is the curator, and Kevin tells him that it might not be around next year. Luke reminds him how much he likes films and how many they watched in his grandma's poolhouse, which seems to dredge up some uncomfortable cocoa-butter-scented memories in Kevin.

Just then Noah arrives and Luke introduces him, and Noah seems to have a flash of name recognition but thankfully doesn't ask anything.

2:16PM EDT: Ooh, Detective Clarice Starling's new 'do is pretty sassy. Although it's hard to even see over her colleague Alex's muscles ... yowch! 

And courtesy of the Oakdale Wormhole System (or maybe they have a Floo network?), Alex is suddenly at the Lily Pad ... and arresting Lady Drumstick! I hope they strap her on one of those Hannibal Lector boards. "Take this thing back to Baltimore!"

Over at Al's, Luke meets up with Reg (welcome back, swinger!) and finds out that the complaints about the festival are also about "potential donors". On cue, Wheatables appears to give Luke another spanking for wanting to pass out fliers at the fest, and Luke tells him that if the school pulls funding for the fest, he wants the Luke Snyder Foundation for Kids Who Don't Read Good and Endangered Off-Screen Gay Film Festivals to back it. Wheats says that if Luke does that he's out, and leaves.

Back at Java, Dusty asks Noah if he and Luke are a couple and when Noah tells him he is, Dusty is genuinely happy to hear it. I'd like to think it's because he only messes around with married people, but that's probably wishful thinking. Lily arrives to break up the bromance by telling Dusty it's his fault her mom's pushing iron in the yard.

2:05PM EDT: Right off the bat, we meet up with Luke, who upon visiting Noah at Java learns that some students have been complaining to the Student Council about the rumored gay film festival that apparently happened. When Luke replies, incredulously, "you mean because they showed two guys kissing and in bed together?" my Irony Meter peaks so hard that my hat pops off of my head. 

Dusty comes by and when Luke snaps "get away from my man!" that they don't want to hear his excuses, Noah snips, "uh, I can speak for myself." In the next scene Luke shuts Dusty's apology down and tells Noah they should better head over to Al's for the Student Council meeting and Noah's all, "Go ahead and bounce, I'm talking to Dusty!" and Luke leaves on his own. Gentlemen, start your Noah/Dusty fanfic!! 

Oh, and Lily just threatened to put her own mom in jail. Rich!