Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Liar Liar

That's right, in today's episode Luke's short-lived victory in the dirty race for student body president goes sour as he gets called on the carpet for ballot-stuffing. Busted!

But things get really ugly when Luke asks Noah to lie for him to the dean, which Noah isn't willing to do. Of course, those of us who remember Noah's sham wedding (which broke Federal law, not just Oakdale U code of conduct) will find his newfound righteous indignation rather amusing, but let's face it, consistency isn't exactly this show's bread and butter.

Will Luke's nasty campaigning spell the end for the most virginal couple in soapdom? Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens! 

Gentlemen, start your double-talking!

2:55PM EST: Luke goes back to the Dean's office and waits, and soon enough Noah comes out with the Dean's hand on his shoulder. He gives Luke an unreadable puppy-dog look, and Luke gives him one right back. It's a glower-down!

BlahblahParsley'sachipofftheoldpsychoblah.

Preview Time: Luke tells Wheatables that he got expelled. Whoops! We'll be back tomorrow to see how it plays out! 

2:48PM EST: The Dean (who looks like he raided Gene Rayburn's wardrobe this morning) tells Luke that this is a serious offense but that if Luke insists that everything is on the up-and-up that's that. Luke calls Butters to tell him that it's under control. 

Luke gets home to find Noah sitting at the kitchen table rubbing a remote control on his forehead. Luke immediately says "I love you" and tells him that what's done is done, and he needs to know that the two of them are okay.

Oh, it's his cell phone - Noah tells him that the Dean just called to ask about the election. Noah says that if he asks if Luke cheated, he's not sure how to answer. Luke asks him to lie, and Noah says he doesn't think he can do that. He says that Luke is the one thing he doesn't think he can lie about ... and leaves. SWELLING DRAMATIC MUSIC.

2:38PM EDT: Hey, it's my favorite Stanley Steemer ad. "TOBY!"

Luke runs into Butters, who tells him that Kevin is launching an investigation into the election. He tells him that he has nothing to go on. Luke gets a call from an unknown number ... it's the dean's office calling him in. OH SNAP! 

QAL drags Parsley into the police station and tells MP2.0 that she wants Dammit! arrested on grounds of child endangerment, child abuse, and God Bless the Child (hers was pitchy). MP2.0 isn't believing the kid's story and runs home to free Dammit! and she tells him what really happened. He either thinks about it or considers eating some Activia, and we fade to black...

2:30P EDT: Dammit!: "Carly, I'm in the closet!" Heh. QAL beats the crap out of the closet door like a mama gorilla protecting her young, whisks away Parsley and leaves Dammit! to rot with the Whosit? and Sorry! boxes. 

2:26PM EST: Okay, this whole "and introducing Parsley as the Bad Seed" thing is hot - she just told Dammit! that if she's uncomfortable jammed in the closet it's because she eats too many brownies. And then she calls Quaker Oats Lady and tells her that Dammit! hit her. HA!

Back at Java, Luke tries to rationalize his decisions with Noah over a couple of fake pies but doesn't get anywhere. Noah tells him that he's not as cool with his actions as he's pretending to be and that he's lost respect for him. Meanwhile Ali gets out of Butters that they fixed the election and she's not happy with it. Kneepads off!

She tells him to "grow the hell up". 

2:19PM EST: Dammit! tries to force Parsley to eat a brownie and she's all, "I could eat it but then I'd die, because I'm allergic." ZING!

And then Parsley locks her in the closet! Haaaaaaaaaa! Okay, this kid's winning me over. Hey Dammit!, can you check and see if Wheatables is in there?

2:15PM EST: Quaker Oats Lady just said that there would be "pigs in the treetops" before she'd apologize to Dammit!. So not only will pigs have to fly, but they'll have to have been flying for long enough to need a break.

And Dammit! just said "espadrilles", which is by far my favorite word in the English language. Wait, is that even English?

Meanwhile, Parsley is all, "I don't like Dammit!'s candy apples" and Matthew Perry 2.0 is like, "everyone likes her candy apples." Or has at least tasted them.

Back at Java (thank God!) Luke says that he can't turn himself in because Kevin will be President, which would of course be the end of the world. Luke brings up the fairy video again and Noah says he's starting to sound like the bad guys.

Luke just called Noah "Mister Righteous" and told him to let him know when his boyfriend got back. Ha! Couldn't have said it better myself.

Meanwhile, some tall guy tells Kevin that he was totally robbed in the campaign and Butters and Ali are all, "whaaaah?" and Kevin says that there's going to be an investigation into the election because 98% of the student body voted versus less than 30% the year before. 

2:05PM EST: In Maddie Alley, Butters straps a pair of kneepads onto Ali. Oh, be nice - he's teaching her how to skate!

Kevin appears and is all, "Luke didn't win!"

Over at Java, Luke pops in to see Noah, who doesn't want to talk to him. He tells him that he lied and Luke purrs that there has to be something he can do to fix it. Um ... as much as we'd love to see it, I don't think that make-up sex is particularly appropriate here. Noah tells Luke that he needs to admit that he cheated. 

In other news, it's a Quaker Oats Lady day, so all is good in the world. Until the announcer says the word "gas" about 30 times when pointing out that today's sponsor is Beano. And here I had Trader Joe's enchiladas for lunch.

2:00PM EST: Aside from the creepy Crank Yankers singing puppets, does anyone find it odd that IO has changed their phone number from 877-393-4448 to 877-333-4001? I mean, why base your entire ad campaign around your phone number if you're going to change it?