Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Love Shack, baby!

Hello, my precious Nukies! Yes, I am back from jury duty (I was on the Parker Snyder trial, if you must know) and am ready to jump back into the ever-spiraling Luke and Noah storyline without a life preserver.

When we last saw Luke and Noah, they were popping off to the hay loft to "do some chores" do some chores with a hobo-pack of GrammaEmma's "special" brownies. But as yesterday's preview clips revealed, in today's ep we'll learn that Noah and Ameera's bunk-bed dreams will finally be realized when the newlyweds inherit a house from the departing Girl Who Reminds Me of Haley Joel Osment and her boyfriend. Will this new Amway-furnished love nest have room for Luke and his reluctant new faux-mo boyfriend, Casey, to join in the fun?

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out ... and bring your jukebox money!

See that faded sign at the side of the road? It says "Fifteen miles to Oakdale, baby!"

2:55PM EDT: Nameera and Lasey decide that they should go ahead and take that offer to move into the empty set house. The realize that they can't pull it off unless Casey is on-board, and he says no until Ameera shows him some leg. Oh, just kidding, but she smiles and he caves. 

Luke promises "no PDA" and the happy wife-swapping couple has their picture taken by the young parents, with Luke molesting Casey and kissing him on the cheek. Am I the only one a little annoyed that he doesn't seem to have the same drive to molest his own boyfriend lately? 

Moments later the kids are gone and Gwen and Will have a last minute alone together, clutching their plastic cups half-full of ginger ale. Only the best send-off for these kids!

Preview Time: No Nameera or Lasey, but we do get a hot "porn past" teaser for Hotprechaun's new kite-flying mate. If only we should be so lucky that one of our boys had this kind of skeleton in his closet... 

2:47PM EDT: The departing couple ask Luke to take a picture of them with Aaron. And then we cut to the hottest thing I've seen on this show in months: a montage of Hotprechaun and his freshly Feria'd lady flying kites in the park. It's just like The Kite Runner, only without the rape and cultural significance. They decide to cut the kite free.

Nuke and Ameera and Casey (or is it Lasey and Nameera?) discuss their elaborate romantic ruse with the departing couple, who point out that the house that they are sitting in will soon be empty and happens to belong to Luke's grandmother. So they were just going to leave the house without finding another tenant? Or were they squatting this whole time?

They of course come up with the brill idea that Nameera should move in and Lasey can come visit them as a couple. Then they throw all their keys in a bowl and get nasty! 

2:40PM EDT: At the hospital, ER2.0 tries to cheer up Ice Truck Killer by asking him to list other things that his mom has survived. He says "my father ... World War I ... the Plague ... the Great Flood ..." 

2:35PM EDT: ER2.0's having a rather creepy Sophie's Choice moment with the baby. Seriously, kids - check her purse before she leaves. 

She breaks it to Ice Truck Killer that oh, by the by, his mom's in emergency surgery. More ginger ale? 

2:27PM EDT: You know, I'm actually going to really miss The Girl Who Reminds Me of Haley Joel Osment. Wait, why is Hotprechaun dressed up as one of the Budabi brothers from A Night at the Roxbury fort this going-away party? "What is loooove..."

Meanwhile, Mrs. Kardashian has a fainting spell and Emmy Rossum 2.0 takes her to the doctor, who tells her that the tumor is resisting radiation and that she won't be able to go back to the party.

Luke is getting far too much glee out of making Casey uncomfortable about the gay thing. Heck, they just have to walk next to each other! Settle down, kids. They arrive and Noah explains to the departing couple that he married Ameera for visa purposes and Luke calls Casey his "beard". Heh. Ameera goes to get Noah a drink, saying she "knows what he likes". Hmm. 

2:16PM EDT: Meanwhile, Casey is really not digging the whole fauxmo thing, and Noah and Luke laugh it off, saying that he'll be able to ditch the 'mos when they get to the party. Ameera shows up and of course Casey's immediately all "okay, I'll be gay for whomever as long as I get to make cow-eyes at the pretty lady" and Luke grabs his arm and drags him off. He makes a comment about "no funny stuff" ... um, has he been watching this show for the last 190 days? Luke's more likely to make out with Lady Drumstick than another guy at this point. 

2:14PM EDT: One of the Mrs. Kardashians arrives with Ice Truck Killer, who brought some ginger ale. This hoopdee is gonna be off the CHAIN, yo! 

Luke's hot brother Aaron is trying to get Emmy Rossum 2.0 to go to the party with him. Just don't let her bring a backpack, or that baby's gonna walk!

Meanwhile, Hotprechaun (who's looking pretty dashing with his hair growing in) is convinced to come to the party by the girl who just died her hair. Sorry, my babymama drama character knowledge is a bit flagging these days. 

2:04PM EDT: PS, if anyone ever confronts you on the street and tries to force feed you cheese, DON'T EAT IT. Even if it is Babybel. 

Quaker Oats Lady breaks the news that The Girl Who Reminds Me of Haley Joel Osment and her boyfriend husband are leaving today to Matthew Perry 2.0.

Over at the young couple's place, the boyfriend hubby comes home with a deli tray for like three people. Guess they're not expecting many guests.

Over at Snyder Home for Wayward Gay Teens and Iraqi Refugees, Noah tells Luke that he thinks he should go to the going-away party with Ameera in case ICE pops out of a cake. As luck would have it, Casey shows up, and Luke says that he can take him as his date.

Okay, all this joking about Casey being Luke's fauxcandy is cute and all ... but has anyone considered that given his all-too-recent prison bitch status, he might not find it terribly funny to be tagged as another guy's man against his will? 

Okay, Parker is going, too. Those kids had better find a bigger deli tray. 

1:56PM EDT: Before we get started and I suffer through the last few minutes of The Bold and the Botoxed, let me again thank Dennis, who did a smashing job taking the reins on the liveblog while suffering from the flu. Although let's face it ... a fever might make this mess more bearable.