Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Luke falls off the wagon

Would it be in poor taste to play a drinking game based around recovering alcoholic Luke Snyder's fall from sobriety? Probably. But it would also be hella fun!

Yes, today Luke's Kevin-induced downward spiral continues, as he celebrates his recent expulsion from Oakdale U by getting wasted (and if you remember how Luke and alcohol mix, it's not pretty). Will this be the bottom of the barrel for Luke, or will he one-up Noah's grief-induced hobo phase with an ill-advised drunken hookup?

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens!

Grab a bottle and join us!

2:55PM EST: Luke is walking home and runs into three nameless OU students brazenly breaking open-container laws coming back from Kevin's victory beer blast. One offers Luke some beer and another says, "Whhooooa, Luke doesn't drink" (is that really common knowledge?) and Luke says, "I do now!" and grabs one of their beers and pounds it. 

Atta girl! 

Preview Time!: No Nuke, but we'll be back next week for what we understand will be a very interesting development... 

2:49PM EST: OMG, the Eleventh Hour ad where they snap off the dead girl's eyelid - WTF?! I know that IKEA lady is involved!!

Dusty hears Josie warbling a song to Ethan and tells her his wife used to sing it to their baby and she's all, "kooky!"

Luke apologizes to Noah and Noah's not really feeling it, so Luke says, "well you're not perfect, either!" Interesting tactic! Noah's stuck on the whole Kevin thing and he tells Luke he can't be with him until Luke figures out what his hangup is, and goes back to work. 

Dusty cancels on Emily and she decides not to go and turns the car around. We all know where this is going... 

2:38PM EST: GLily says that their family has given lots of money to Oakdale U and she's sure they can work something out and Luke balks, asking, "so you build the school a new stadium and I get to go back to school?" Holden asks if Luke really wants to go back to school and Luke is like, "of course." And Holden's like, "and you're content to let your mother's money buy your way back in?" and even Lily shoots Holden a look like, "what's HER problem?"

Luke goes to visit Noah at Java and forces him to talk to him (because the only thing that could make this situation better would be to get Noah fired). He tells Noah that his parents dropped some mad science on him and Noah asks what he's going to do. Luke says that he's not sure yet but that whatever it is he can't do it without Noah and asks him "please come back to me."

GLily goes to Fashion to buy Lady Drumstick a new dress to wear after her surgery and Josie basically tries to abduct Ethan. Lily is of course more than happy to get rid of him and sends them off to get ice cream. What, a girl with no identity who doesn't remember her past and might be the reincarnated spirit of my formerly-dead ex-boyfriend's dead wife? Get two scoops!

2:26PM EST: Phillips asks, "Hey, is your colon sending you a message?" No? Are you sure? Maybe it's in your spam folder?

GLily and Holden have their once-yearly moment of parental authority by telling Luke that he has to fix what he done. 

Meg and Paul are cuddling. Emily and Dusty plan global domination by attending a conference together and are going to have to share a room. And Cloverfield-cam shows us that Josie is asking Mrs. Kardashian for a job. 

2:19PM EST: Dusty: "I don't think anything." Well, admittance is the first step. Moments later: "It's tough to get rid of me." See, I told you Emily was catching!

Mrs. Kardashian just called Emily a "pitbull in lipstick", but we all know the real truth:

Gilded Lily and Holden decide to go to the farm to beat some sense into Luke. Luke and Noah are still arguing about who's been the worse boyfriend, with Luke saying "I'm a power-hungry lowlife, you better dump me before it rubs off!"

Noah indirectly compares Luke to Captain Pervy, which goes over like a lead balloon. Luke says he thought he could trust Noah, and Noah says he thought he could trust Luke, and he leaves. We get a classic foreground/background shot of the two of them sulking, Luke in the kitchen and Noah outside on the porch, before he takes off. 

2:12PM EST: "Who's Num Yummy?" You are, fella! 

2:10PM EST: Josie's all I Know My First Name Is Steven and Dusty suggests that maybe she came out of the ocean, in a seashell. Um, I'll have what he's having! 

2:07PM EST: Oh my, this creepy IKEA woman who haunts people in their kitchen in a cardigan and hoot-owls is really freaking me out. 

Gilded Lily tells Holden that Luke was expelled. Meanwhile, back at Pity Me Farms Luke is going through a box of Nostalgic Items, which includes a pic of him and Noah ... Noah comes in and says that he'll get the rest of his stuff later. He's moving out! Well, not like their living under the same roof amounted to much anyway.

Luke tries laying another guilt trip on Noah and Noah grabs him, saying, "You really just don't get it, do you?"

Um ... no. 

Baby talk between Paul and Meg that's borderline interesting. And then it's not. And Dusty is getting intimate with Josie and her pussycat as Emily squabbles with Mrs. Kardashian in the alley. Emily's mom shows up to defend her daughter, calling Dusty a "demolition derby".

Meanwhile, Paul tells Meg that "he pushes and pushes like a freight train". Nope, nothing to see here!