Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Luke in lockup!

After a week of horrifying fever-dream fairy tales (let us never speak of the Valentine's Day horror again) and "elsewhere in Oakdale" drama, Luke and Noah are back today, and still mildly-warm-to-the-touch on the trail of whoever it was that killed reigning Gay of the Week Reg Addington.

Today Luke oversteps his bounds as a vigilante crime-fighter and winds up on the wrong side of the law, not to mention the wrong side of the bars of Oakdale PD's holding cell. Will Luke make it out alive before Schillinger and the skinheads burn a swastika into his ass or Adibisi fits him for his own teeny-tiny little hat?

Follow along below and refresh often to find out ... as it happens!

"Book him, Margo!"

2:54PM EST: Over at Java, Luke is more convinced than ever that Elle Woods is guilty because he didn't press charges. Um ... k.

Kevin comes in and tells him that he had no idea it was Luke in Elle's room when he called campus police. Luke isn't buying it, and Noah asks him why he's being so paranoid. Hey, good question! 

Gilded Lily tells Jade what's up and she's crushed when she hears that Butters stiffed her and her pretty new dress. Jade says she's going to "put the dress to good use" and storms off to ... what, wash the car with it?

Oh, she ambushes Butters in the dispensary. Um, if this room is so "off limits", why isn't there a frigging lock on the door?

Matt! kisses Ali over a ginger ale at the bar. Butters sees it and looks down at the note, and storms off with a determined look in his eye...

Preview Time! No more Nuke this week, but we'll be back next week for more! 

2:47M EST: Butters (who has entered the Lily Pad without knocking) kicks Emily out, and Jade tries to talk him into suing her for sexual harassment. He gets uncomfortable and says he has to go back to work and when she says they have a date and she got a new dress he's all, "mmmmthanksbutno" and leaves.

Lily tries to talk Detective Clarice Starling into letting Luke off, but she won't, and then when Elle Woods comes in Clarice lets Lily talk to him, which is kind of ridiculous. Elle Woods says he'll drop the charges if Luke gives him an apology and Luke pops out from behind a ficus to say "Nuh-UHHHHH!"

Over at the hospital, Noah asks Butters if he might know who this "M" person is.

Lily tells bthat he's just making this worse but Luke says he's a drug dealer, but Elle Woods says that's not true. But Luke can't apologize. Noah comes back and tells him that standing by his principles is getting him nowhere, so Luke apologizes for breaking into the dorm but that he still thinks he's a drug dealer and is responsible for Reg's death. Um ... I think Luke took his lessons on apologizing at The Learning Annex.

Elle Woods drops the charges anyway, and Luke is free to go.

Back at the hospital, Butters walks in on Matt! in the hospital dispensary ... as in, where all the drugs are kept. Of course, this being Oakdale General, drugs are just sitting in candy dishes in every hallway, but I guess there are even more in here. Butters kicks him out and then puts together the fact that "Matt!" starts with "M". Too bad  the note didn't say "M!"... 

2:37PM EST: Luke talks Noah into digging into the note, saying that they owe it to Reg. Lily shows up and snaps, "Start. Talking." Ha!

Regarding the Butters/Jade sexy-time, Ali says, "Casey can do whatever he wants. I just don't want to have to watch." Make that one of us!

Luke sends Noah away and he reluctantly heads off to do Luke's dirty work. Luke tells Lily that the cops gave up so he had to do it himself. Lily gets teary-eyed at the prospect that Luke might go to jail.

Emily to Jade regarding her new dress: "I should rip it off your back, you little snake!" Good luck catching her when she's not lying on it! Jade blackmails her into giving her more money anyway. 

2:27PM EST: Margo, who apparently does her best police work over a BLT, continues to grill Butters about Reg's death at the diner. He eventually gets mad at her implication that Matt! is a dealer and storms out.

Jade and Gilded Lily are still under surveillance at the dress shop...

Ali forgives Emily for telling her not to date Butters and Ali lets slip that she caught him boning Jade. Ooooooh CHIT!

Over at Oakdale PD, Noah comes over for a non-conjugal visit (frowny-face) with Luke, who explains what happened. Noah has bail money, so we might not have our Emerald City fantasies realized after all. Margo tells him that he has committed a felony and when Luke tells her what he was doing at Elle Woods' she tells him that she's calling his parents.

Noah gives Luke a slap on the wrist but is supportive, and Luke admits making a mistake but says that they still have to prove Elle Woods is guilty and asks Noah to take care of it. He shows Noah the note, and asks him to find out who "M" is. (Hint: It's Judi Dench! What, was Elle Woods selling her black-market Boniva?)

2:17PM EST: Seriously, why were Ali and Matt! standing there like the Ghosts of Christmas Butter-block in the middle of the diner? How bizarre! They eventually sit down and both Ali and Butters do the whole "No, I'm not distracted!" thing at their respective tables. Eventually Matt! makes Ali leave.

Shaky stalker-cam on Jade and Gilded Lily in the dress shop! Please tell me we're seeing this through the eyes of Laura Mars. Jade makes Emily buy her a dress, and Lily asks what's up.

Luke and Noah plan their breakin of Elle Woods' dormroom in hushed tones. Noah of course isn't hip to the idea and tells Luke not to do anything dumb when he leaves for class. He also gives Luke a kiss and says "I love you" when he leaves. Awwww.

Luke chomps his teeth together three times and takes all of 2.4 seconds before saying, "Sorry!" and going to break into the dorm anyway. 

Ali tells Matt! she likes him but she "doesn't have everything figured out." Noooooooooooo.... 

Luke uses his credit card to break into Elle Woods' apparently very stinky dorm room. (If you use a rewards card to pick a lock, do you get frequent flier points?) He digs around a bit and finds a note that says "GOT YOU COVERED - M". But then the door opens and there's Elle Woods, with Kevin and campus security, who drags Luke off. He barks, "thanks, Kevin!" on the way out. Did he set him up? 

2:07PM EST: OMG how excited am I for Harper's Island?!?! I'll tune in for the Christopher Gorham, and stay for the "wedding party gets killed off one by one".

Alright, we meet up in Olde Town where Luke and Noah are walking back from Reg's memorial with Kevin. Luke's surprised that Kevin went to the memorial at all, and when Kevin offers to buy them a cup of coffee (did I imagine Noah's eyes twinkling at the thought?) Luke says let's not kid, you hate my gay guts.

Luke and Noah go into Java and who should be there but Elle Woods, who makes a crack about drugs killing, and Luke gets all up in his grill.

When we come back Luke accuses Elle of selling Reg drugs and he denies it. Luke: "You're a damned liar, Elle Woods!" Kevin says maybe Elle didn't do it, and mentions that he's back in the dorm, right down the hall from him. He offers to keep an eye on him and then boot-scoots back to campus, throwing a bill at Nuke for their coffee. Luke doesn't trust Kevin to keep an eye on anything but a mirror, and says they have to "take this investigation to the next level" by breaking into Elle Woods' dorm room.

Over at the diner, Butters and Detective Clarice Starling discuss just how big of a junkie Elle Woods might be over lunch (Butters orders a healthy side of "I told you so!"), but are interrupted by Ali and Matt!.