Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Mr. Snyder Goes to Washington

In today's episode of As the World Turns, Luke jumps perfectly-coifed-headfirst into the dirty world of student government by announcing his campaign against Kevin, former backrub partner and current obstacle to the Oakdale U gay film festival.

Of course, this being politics, things get ugly real fast, and Luke gets a crash-course on dirty campaigning. We understand that there will be homophobic attack ads of some sort and that Kevin will circulate some kind of "shocking" video of Luke to the student body ... considering that Luke's life is about as scandalous as a particularly edgy installment of Mary Worth, I imagine that the footage is of Luke doing something along the lines of crossing against the light or not chewing his food 40 times before swallowing.

To join all the shifty goings-on as they happen, click on through the jump and refresh often for breaking updates!

All's fair in love and politics...

2:57PM EDT: Preview Time! No Nuke. But what'd we think of today's ep? More of the boys than we've had in ages, and it pulled a lot more characters in to support them and addressed the topic of homophobia head-on. I'm interested to see what develops here. What do you think is up with Kevin? Just a decent guy ... or something more?

2:55PM EDT: Mata Ali reports back to the fellas that Kevin is clearly running a Fags Suck campaign and will do anything to win. Luke asks if Kevin tried to stop it and she said not that she could see. What, was she looking at the menu at that moment? Noah asks what Luke could possibly have seen in him. Ouch!

Meanwhile, back at the rally Kevin tells Mark to stop and tells the crowd that Luke is a good guy and that he's not going to smear his opponent in this campaign. The plot thickens!

Noah asks why Luke even wants to bother with this fight and Luke brings up the highway gay-bashing incident and tells Noah that he wants to educate and change people's minds.

Oh, and MP2.0 just proposed to Miss Havisham.

And Van and Jake did a PSA for voting, encouraging viewers to get out and exercise their right. Hey, not bad that they're tying their voter advocacy directly to a storyline about homophobia being used in political campaigns. Pretty cool, really.

2:50PM EDT: When Ali says that she doesn't even go to OU, Butters counters that he hardly goes either. Ha! She eventually agrees, and Butters tells Luke the good news.

Ali goes to check out Kevin's rally at the diner and Kevin corners her, and she plays innocent since he has no idea who she is. A regular Mata Hari, this one! 

I love the creepy music in this scene!

Mark kicks off the meeting with a bunch of homophobic insults against Luke and tells them that Luke's going to lobby for gay porn in the quad if he wins office. Kevin tries to stop the gay jokes but Mark doesn't let up, and says that they've created videos of what Luke and his "friends of Dorothy" will do to their campus if he wins. Ali, disgusted, storms out, and Kevin, disgusted, glares at Mark. Hmm.

But wait, when did Mark and his pals have time to whip up Gaytown attack ads? Hasn't it been about an hour since they learned that Luke was even running?

2:42PM EDT: Liberty goes to talk to MP2.0 and Dammit! figures it out and barks at her. Meanwhile, Gilded Lily and Quaker Oats Lady are civilly having coffee at the Lilypad and talking about how they've effed up their men. GL asks QAL if maybe she didn't care that MP2.0 is dating Dammit! because she knows she's a bimbo and it'll never work. What, did Lily put an extra spoonful of Dr. Phil in that coffee?

Luke thinks that Butters being his campaign manager is a great idea because he has access to homophobes and Butters isn't really up for being his "token hetero", leading Ali to ask if he's worried about being perceived as gay. Butters points out that seeing as how he had to pretend to be Noah's boyfriend, that's kind of already out there. 

Ali tries to convince Butters to take the position and Butters asks if she's only in favor of it because it makes her feel less guilty about cuckolding Aaron.

Mark (Kevin's campaign manager) asks Butters if he's coming to Kevin's rally and when Ali says that she hears that his competition is a pretty smart guy Mark sneers that Luke is a "creampuff" and that he will likely try to change the school mascot to a French Poodle. What, did this guy get a copy of Gay Insults for Dummies printed in 1946?

The minute Mark walks off Butters says "I'll do it." (Aawwww!) ... but that Ali has to do it with him. (running the campaign, not ... you know, "it")

2:27PM EDT: MP2.0 says hi to Aaron and says that his view of marriage must be better than his these days, being newly married and all. Whoops! Somebody didn't get the memo. Aaron gets wet-eyed when he tells Holden about the divorce.

Ali, meanwhile, joins the boys at Java and Luke tells her that the guys are calling him a loser before the race is even started because he's gay. There's a mention of a "gay wolf pack", which conjures up a likely unintended image.

Ali goes to get coffee and Butters says he'd buy her one to cheer her up but that he's broke. Good ole Butters!

Suddenly Kevin comes in with his good squad/entourage/bridge club and Luke breaks the news to him that he's running against him in the election. Kevin immediately replies that he thinks that's great, and they leave, and on the way out one of the fratboys high-fives Butters, who tells Nuke that the guy is Kevin's campaign manager.

Noah asks if Butters will be Luke's manager, and Butters screams, "No freakin' way!" 

OMG! WHITE-HOT tech-age Miss Havisham dream sequence, with Dammit in old hag makeup listening to a voicemail from MP2.0 wearing a moldy wedding gown and covered in cobwebs. Okay, that made it worth tuning in right there.

Miss Havisham shows Luke where she's going to keep his sexual actualization

2:20PM EDT: Hey, Clinton Kelly from What Not to Wear has his own Macy's commercial. Neato! 

2:15PM EDT: Aaron comes back to Ali (whose hair is so much better nowadays that she looks like she's been recast - girl is smokin'!) to finish bumming her out about the divorce. He doesn't want to be friends with her because she sucks at being a friend (his exact words, not mine!).

Back at Java, Butters apologizes for causing drama between Luke and Noah and Luke apologizes to Noah for not telling him sooner. Noah doesn't think that keeping the gay film fest up and running isn't worth the troubles he's setting himself up for, and Luke assures him that this has nothing to do with Kevin. Noah doesn't want Luke feeling rejected if no one votes for him.

Butters points out that Kevin will be a tough opponent to beat and Luke asks if he's saying that because Luke is gay. Yes, Luke, and because you're a Snyder and also because you're a virgin and a Daughter of the American Revolution. And also because your dad's Italian. Seriously, isn't the Norma Gay thing a bit thick lately?

OMG, Liberty just dropped the Miss Havisham hammer on Dammit!, telling her she doesn't want to see her in a dusty wedding dress waiting for a groom who never shows. I don't know what's more shocking: that she's right or that she made a literary reference. 

2:06PM EDT: We start with Gilded Lily checking her tires, which Quaker Oats Lady tries to help her with. Boy, what a scintillating conversation! She turns down an offer for a ride and drives home on the rims.

At Java, Luke visits Noah and they're about to kiss when Butters comes in and yells at them to "get a room". Says the paragon of appropriate workplace behavior.

Butters congratulates Luke on his campaign for presidency and Noah is surprised to hear about it, saying "I guess the boyfriend's the last one to know." Hmmm... planting more seed of discontent and jealousy in regards to Kevin's return? 

Meanwhile, Aaron and Ali discuss their divorce and Holden and Matthew Perry 2.0 discuss spice racks (no kidding) and Dammit! and Dammit! and Liberty (who all of a sudden looks every bit the 20-year-old she is, doesn't she?) talk about her possibly marrying Jack (Dammit!, that is).

Meanwhile, Lily didn't make it home and Quaker Oats Lady (who has apparently been circling the block?) pulls up and tries to get her to get in the car again. Lord, this is turning into a PSA about taking rides from strangers. Where's McGruff the Crime Dog?