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News, Reviews & Commentary on Gay and Bisexual Men in Entertainment and the Media

Liveblogging As the World Turns: My Nukey Valentine Edition

 

Yes, I'm a cookie queen. Deal with it.

So here we are, back to watch As the World Turns revisit the well of holiday-themed "what if?" episodes (I think they should have the lead levels tested!) on today's Very Special Valentinacular Epsiode, where the citizens of Oakdale act out romantic scenarios that haven't happened.

You know a great romantic scenario that hasn't happened? Luke and Noah touching each other!

Okay, I kid. But let's hope this special holiday episode goes better than the last one, where The Mistletoe That Stole Christmas left everyone with a bad taste in their mouths. Actually, the subsequent Dollhouse of Horrors ep was pretty hot, so maybe this will pay off.

Click on through and refresh often for breaking updates!  

And here we go!

2:55PM EST: I'm so bummed and stuffed with specially-decorated effigy cookies that I can't get too excited about the wacky fast-talky comedy among Quaker Oats Lady, Matthew Perry 2.0, Austin From Days and The Blond Obstacle.  

Two more kisses. Straight couples: 5, gay couple: 0.

Preview Time. Meh. 

2:46PM EST: The Girl Who Reminds Me of Haley Joel Osment is reimagined as a folk rocker chick. She actually has a very nice scene when she sings at the bar.

But funny how all three straight couples have kissed at the ends of their fantasies, isn't it? 

2:38PM EST: Detective Clarice Starling and her guy, who is so rarely featured in conjunction with these stories that I don't even have a half-baked nickname for him, have a black-and-white screwball fantasy that should have Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn spinning in their graves like rotisserie chickens.

2:31PM EST: K, just rewatched their segment and it's kind of cute that Luke is really awkward in the West Village. The subtle flirting is kind of adorable, as the two kind of give each other hints without saying anything. Luke admits to never having been to the Village because he never felt comfortable going by himself.

Also, the two are holding hands as they walk up the battleship. But still don't kiss. PDA in NYC has become as complicated as it is in Oakdale! 

 

2:27PM EST: Luke and Noah, who just balked at kissing, walk through Maddie Alley with their arms around each other. Okay...

Noah wonders what his life would be like without Luke and Luke says he's sure he'd have met some other guy. Noah's all, "what, in the military?" Yeah, that's an impossibility. They look at a book about the military and Noah decides he'd have been in the Navy...

Noah and some other soldier are coming off a battleship or whatever and the guy starts talking about lap-dances and g-strings and stuff. I'm guessing he's not talking about a Thunder from Down Under show, so I tune out.

Noah decides not to spend the rest of his leave in a free clinic and instead goes to the Library. On the steps, he runs into Luke and knocks the papers out of his hand. Luke says he's a student from Illinois and he runs off.

Noah finds some papers with Luke's name on them and runs after him. He catches him and Luke offers to give him a tour of the city. 

Gay Street! Wahahaha! OMG, Luke is giving Noah a gay history lesson! He admits to never having been down there before. Cute. The boys hit the Stonewall. Okay, this is pretty cool. 

The boys hit the Statue of Liberty and Luke says that in this country you can be anything, even gay. Noah asks Luke if he's gay and he says that he is. Luke asks Noah and makes a "Don't Ask Don't Tell" crack, and Noah says that he is gay too. The boys hold hands and gaze at Lady Liberty.

Luke escorts Noah back to the battleship and Noah says that when he gets out they're going to be together, and gives Luke a medal of some sort, saying that the Navy gives them out for bravery and that when he gets out they're going to need it.

And...

They hug.

Scene. 

2:16PM EST: Lily and Holden are one pottery wheel and an overused ballad away from getting on my last nerve here. They come back to (relative) reality and kiss. Let's move on.

Oh, can we discuss the hot episode logo, with the frilly script over the heart? "Brought to you by Powerpoint!"

2:12PM EST: Lily has a HOT flashback montage of her and Holden's greatest moments: Lily giving birth on the farmhouse floor a la Little House, Holden baling hay, and more. Actually, isn't that a different Holden in a few of those?

Suddenly we're in the As the World Alternaverse and Holden is playing Mister Mom to Little Miss Stormcloud, The Other One, and a baby. Oh, I get it -- he and Lily OH MY GOD!! Lily's a ghost! She died at the hands of American Psycho Junior.

Oh my this is amazing. Lily gets all Ghost Mom on Little Miss. Ooh Molly, you in danger, girl! 

LMS realizes she's being too tough on her hot widower father after Dead Lily helps her with her homework. Dead Lily then appears to Holden and tells him that she's there to help raise the kids like they always planned. Can spirits do dishes?

2:05PM EST: Lily gets a Valentine from her Mom that makes her imagine what life would be likie without love. Um, it would make me imagine my way directly into therapy.

Luke opens a card from Noah on the city street. It reads something along the lines of "How awful would my life be without you". Luke says how sweet that is and goes to kiss him. Their lips brush but a passerby walks past and they pull apart.

OH!

Okay, I'm as sick of the "interruptions" as the next guy, but this one actually stung because it's an all-too-real feeling to have your romance be interrupted by fear and shame. But dammit, this is Valetine's Day!

If that kiss doesn't hit home by episode end, I'm eating their damned cookie. 

marcella's picture

Well, that was freaking insulting.

Well, that was freaking insulting. The hell? Why even bother with all the teases and fake outs if they are going to have such a blatant and discriminatory double-standard?

I like to think I am tough enough to not be affected by these stupid, random incidents of homophobia, but this actually stings.

Thanks for the recap, Brian.

 

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Samuel Gillespie's picture

And, let the

bashing begin.  poor nuke, not getting their valentines day kiss! :(
nordic balance's picture

Total Valentine's Day Nuke DUD!

What a waste of good airtime! The Valentine's Day scenes with Nuke were such a dud! Even worse that I could have imagined. The best of the day was the Margo/Tom black and white episode. As usual Luscious Lips and Noahlicious were yawners. All the other ATWT couples kissed, but no, not our Nuke! All we could squeeze out of their little segment was a half-assed attempted kiss by Luscious Lips at Old Towne and a hug at the pier with Noahlicious in his sailor suit. BTW... when I was in the Navy, you wore the white hat. WTF is with this jersey knit hat anyway? True to form, Nuke didn't get to kiss as the other hetero couples. Now let's see, they're being treated like any other couple on ATWT? Yea, right...
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nordic balance's picture

Total Valentine's Day Nuke DUD!

What a waste of good airtime! The Valentine's Day scenes with Nuke were such a dud! Even worse that I could have imagined. The best of the day was the Margo/Tom black and white episode. As usual Luscious Lips and Noahlicious were yawners. All the other ATWT couples kissed, but no, not our Nuke! All we could squeeze out of their little segment was a half-assed attempted kiss by Luscious Lips at Old Towne and a hug at the pier with Noahlicious in his sailor suit. BTW... when I was in the Navy, you wore the white hat. WTF is with this jersey knit hat anyway? True to form, Nuke didn't get to kiss as the other hetero couples. Now let's see, they're being treated like any other couple on ATWT? Yea, right...
Samuel Gillespie's picture

I'm still

looking forward to watching this episode tonight when I get home.  Thank God for the DVR.
snicks's picture

LILY AND HOLDEN

I think that WAS jon hensley in those Holden flashbacks, just with wonderfully poofy 80's hair. that man is sex on a stick. anyway, i think it would have been more entertaining for holden to realize that SPIRIT LILY was probably getting her groove on with DUSTY THE HORNY GHOST. talk about "slimed"!

I loved NUKE's "meet cute", but i think it would have been more appropriate for Luke to drop chastity belts and promise rings instead of papers.

DETECTIVE CLARICE STARLING is LUCILLE BALL as KATHERINE HEPBURN in "THE CAPTAIN JANEWAY STORY".

http://whitewingeddove.blogspot.com/

nordic balance's picture

Valentine Day's ATWT appearance of Jack Twist's Daddy

BTW... Dunno if anyone noticed, but the black and white segment with Lt. Dick Margo and Dan Ratherish as Katherine Heartburn and Spencer Dick Tracy had Jack Twist's father as the judge in the courtroom. I guess he FINALLY got over his son being a queer back on the ranch after his Brokeback Mountain escapades with Ennis Del Mar. Hope he doesn't come to realize how many queers are runnin' around Jokedale!

Randy's picture

Luke and Noah V-dud

I posted a msg on CBS concerning this ep. Here it is.

The Valentine's episode was a total letdown with the Luke and Noah storyline. All the other straight couples got to kiss at the end of their fantasies and Luke and Noah did not even get the same treatment. The people at CBS are chickening out and letting their prejudices get in the way. I am appalled at the treatment of Luke and Noah. Not only are they not given the same screen time as their straight counterparts but they are not treated the same. What is the problem of showing them kissing when last year they kissed twice. I have only been watching ATWT because of  Nuke (Luke and Noah) and will probably stop watching if their storyline does not go anywhere.

This is a cop out on the parts of CBS, Proctor and Gamble and the other suits involved with this show. I would think that in 2008 post Brokeback Mountain gay relationships would be shown with honesty and respect. This is a kick in the face to all gay people and should be rectified.

Live Long and Prosper

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Metabaron's picture

0 to 5

I don't think the Hershey's Kisses worked.

I think its time to boycott CBS en masse.

HOW CAN THEY DENY THE DOUBLE STANDARD NOW! All those disgusting Heterosexual kisses on DayTime TV? HOW DARE THEY.

I wonder how all these retarded straight people would feel if they were treated the same way.

IT IS TIME TO ABANDON NUKE. THEY ARE STRINGING US ALONG. In fact, Brian, you should stop your liveblogging of ATWT until they accept our demands.

They should just admit that they are uncomfortable with real gay couples.

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DiverTazSC's picture

What's the Point

What's the point of the story line if they aren't going to allow it to progress. Seems we have taken several steps back since "the kiss". If the boys are going to be treated so diffrently, then I would rather they drop the whole thing. Very disappointing.
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mmmexperimental's picture

Blatant Obvious Double Standard!

OK, unless I missed something this time it was just blatant. They treated the gay couple differently. Everybody gets to kiss except the gay couple. Did they think we wouldn't notice?!?!?!

I am really getting tired of the double standard and the obvious nod to prejudice that's being shown here!

 

"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"

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Richard's picture

Seriously?

Who do they think they're fooling? Or pleasing? Do they think the homophobes who object to Luke and Noah object less because their lips miss by an inch? Really?

This video shows all the kissing today (well, not all--just the kisses that ended each segment) and the blatant avoidance of a kiss between Luke and Noah. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMRs9v_U5Tc

 

 

Fansprez's picture

Fin

Well, I guess now we know what P&G, CBS, and every other higher up associated with this show, thinks what equal treatment of gays mean. Disappointed? Extremely. Surprised, not at all.

 

At what point is the breaking point though? This isn't the first time they have pulled this and all we get are lame excuses and mediocrity. Further, at what point does mediocrity and lame excuses become unacceptable? For me, I think that point has come. I came to ATWT because Luke came out and stayed watching because of the promise of the Luke/Noah storyline. But clearly, the executives don't feel that my viewership is important enough and worth exploring the Luke/Noah storyline to it's full promise. Which is fine. They have their hatefilled reasons and have to live with themselves for making those decisions. But I as a viewer and consumer, can no longer accept these execuses and the further homophobic treatment of the gay/gay-friendly viewer.

 

It is ironic though that they give this little history lesson on gays in America in such a proud manner, then basically say that gays are not to be equal in this country. Thanks for the backstabbing ATWT. Thanks a lot.

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Andymmb's picture

Screw job

If Luke and Noah weren't getting a new storyline next week, I would have thought that the show wanted to pull them after today's episode.  That was the most blatant slap in the face to see ALL of the couples except Nuke kiss in their Valentines Day "what ifs?"  This is right up there with the mistletoe. 

mmmexperimental's picture

Feedback

 

I also just went to the CBS/ATWT site and registered a complaint about this. Although, cynic that I am, I do not believe that it will do any good. I think they have made it patently clear that they are indeed treating this gay couple with an eye to the Homophobes and I was shocked and sincerely offended by the actions taken by ATWT today. I am beginning to believe that it may be time to leave this show to the bigots and stop watching. I can't begin to express how hurt, angry and insulted I am by this!

 

"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"

John Beene's picture

Can they really be this stupid?

They set themselves up for people to make comparisons between the different couples and then implemented a blatant double standard.  How stupid is that?

Not only is this a slap in the face for us but what about the artistic integrity of Van and Jake?  This is beyond patronizing.

I can understand why they may not want to push the gay story out of proportion to the others.  I can understand that they might be trying to counter the stereotype that gay men are inherently promiscuous.  I appreciate all of that but this has gone on too long. 

What kind of message are they sending to guys in the Luke/Noah age group?  If this goes on for too much longer it will start to look like a message of shame.  That would be a really bad thing.  But if they don't change direction soon that's where they're headed.

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HenryZ's picture

Underestimated

You know how in writing, they say if you show a gun in the first act, you'd better show someone getting shot? (Or something like that anyway.) When they showed that aborted kiss at the beginning, I thought to myself, "OK, this HAS to lead to a segment later where Noah says he doesn't care WHO sees them, and kisses Luke full on the lips in front of everyone." It's the only pay off that would have made ANY sense and been dramatically satisfying.

As it turns out, I completely underestimated this show's ability to subvert a decent story. Why do they even bother to write for this "couple" anymore? They can't be appealing to ANY demographic with this noncommittal tripe.

Only the old judge in that B&W segment got less action than Luke and Noah, and at least HE gets to bang his gavel.

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John Beene's picture

What he said

HenryZ wrote:
When they showed that aborted kiss at the beginning, I thought to myself, "OK, this HAS to lead to a segment later where Noah says he doesn't care WHO sees them, and kisses Luke full on the lips in front of everyone." It's the only pay off that would have made ANY sense and been dramatically satisfying.
As it turns out, I completely underestimated this show's ability to subvert a decent story.

Exactly!  Couldn't have said it better.

Russell1947's picture

Just as Disgusted.

Man, bummer.  I called the comment line & groused.  I'm a moderator on an ATWT message board, & I can tell you the place was aflame with Nukers.  BOTH GAY & STRAIGHT.  Most of the folks on the board are very pro-Nuke.

As for Holden, there has never been another actor in the part.  Jon Hensley has been the ONLY actor to ever portray Holden.  There was another Lilly for a while, but never Holden.

Roguy's picture

How long can CBS pander?

You know, all the comments in the context of "it's good just to see two guys hugging and holding hands" can only go so far... hell, I was making them to myself a few days weeks months year ago. But sometime soon, CBS is going to have to commit to this storyline or just give it up. At this point, I'm leaning towards giving it up, as the only entertainment now is just how close the guys will come without actually kissing. Currently the parody is on the verge of mocking itself, as Nuke attempt on-camera kisses only to be interrupted by a) little miss stormcloud selling girl scout cookies, b) a bolt of lightning, c) a foul ball off the bat of Derek Jeter or d) a rampaging Grizzly bear.

I think I'm rooting for the bear.

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John Beene's picture

Thanks!

Roguy wrote:
Currently the parody is on the verge of mocking itself, as Nuke attempt on-camera kisses only to be interrupted by a) little miss stormcloud selling girl scout cookies, b) a bolt of lightning, c) a foul ball off the bat of Derek Jeter or d) a rampaging Grizzly bear.

I think I'm rooting for the bear.

I needed that!  I'm laughing so hard right now!

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Brent Hartinger's picture

I think there are two factions: the suits and the creative

The "suits" have said "no kissing, at least not yet." But the creative side has said, "Okay, well, how else can we push the envelope?"

I'm actually impressed by how romantic and "out there" the episode was. But it seems pretty clear they're operating under a strick no-kissing guideline.

I expect they'll have fun with it in the weeks to come, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was a bear!

 

Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com

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netogeno's picture

WTF!

What the hell was that! A mayor copout not two minutes into the show. Are we supposed to be thankfull for the Stonewall references, a trip to the village and the faceless image of gay love?

Now, this fantasy was sweet and I get the limitations of two people who just met, so I am willing to overlook the absence of a kiss (ok not really), but that near miss at the beginning was just ridicuolous and whats with the "I never come HERE" , "it feels weird to be on GAY STREET?!" and "here you can be anything you want, EVEN GAY!!!" Even?

I agree that the show should be commended for the inicial idea and execution of this story, but that only makes the amount of cowardness they display now even more evident. All I wanted from this show was to portray this couple with sensitivity, equality and dignity; nothing more.

I found this episode very disappointing and in some ways even insulting, not because of what I want to see in the show; but because there are young guys everywhere who see this as a way to see themselfs and the message has not been good lately and today was no exeption.

 

HenryZ's picture

"Now, this fantasy was sweet

"Now, this fantasy was sweet and I get the limitations of two people who just met, so I am willing to overlook the absence of a kiss (ok not really)"

I would have been able to overlook it if not for two things: First they promised to wait for each other, which is such a huge commitment to make for someone you've just met. (Like they can commit to each other, but they can't kiss--it's like the porno sandwich talk all over again. They can flirt as long as the end result is that they decide to have a sweet, nonphysical, retro relationship.) Second, in Gwen and Will's fantasy, they'd only just met, too, but got to kiss.

Agree with you that it's insulting.

David Ehrenstein's picture

I kept expecting Luke to look up at Noah, sigh and say --

"We'll always have sandwiches. . ."
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Jonathan's picture

Just a minor point

There are, as a general rule, no soldiers on battleships. There may be marines, but from the pea coat and watch cap, it is most likely that Noah is being portrayed as a sailor.
Liz T's picture

did anyone really expect a kiss??

hmmm....i didn't watch today's episode and thought "they are all gonna be so dissapointed."

i knew it would be a let down and even last week's dirty talking didn't convince me otherwise....it's easy to talk the talk for these writers...but they can't freaking walk the walk.

 

 

Campion's picture

Yes I did

I guess I'm too much of a dreamer.

I really thought that today of all days the boys would have been allowed to show some real affection and express their love for each other.

Would anyone really have objected to a kiss on Valentine's Day? If there was going to be one day where a kiss taking place would make the most sense, be perfectly natural etc etc, today was that day. 

Trevorfrost's picture

Oh Come On!!!!!!

Does it really need to get anymore blatant than that? They are just plain jerking us around now... It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that someone behind the scenes obviously thinks Nuke fans are idiots...
JC's picture

Patience

As a soap viewer for nearly 30 years, I want to quote Agnes Nixon--the woman who created All My Children and One Life To Live--"Make 'em laugh, make 'em cry, make 'em wait."  That pretty much sums up the rule of soap opera.  Yes, I too would love to see Luke and Noah's storyline progress.  But you also have to bear in mind that a story like theirs--teen-related or aimed at a young audience--typically plays out in the summer months. 

It's true from November until now there hasn't been a whole lot going on.  (Keep in mind also that Van Hansis was appearing off Broadway in Die, Mommie, Die at the same time.)  In any event, I am keeping an open mind.  I suspect Luke and Noah will see their airtime increase in June again.  Yes, the cutaways from the kisses and all of the hugs have been frustrating.  But my bf and I don't generally have PDAs in our hometown either--and I thought the interrupted kiss on Valentine's Day spoke volumes.  Gay couples are not as openly accepted in 2008 in the real world.  Why should Oakdale be any different? 

Usually gay characters on soaps disappear very quickly--AMC's Bianca not withstanding.  (And I've seen them all on All My Children, One Life To Love and General Hospital!)  I for one am hoping that CBS sticks with the couple for awhile.  Luke Snyder is a character from a core family.  Hopefully he will find a little onscreen happiness--just not too happy.  Because as we soap viewers know, happiness on a soap is the kiss of death!

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