Liveblogging As the World Turns: Not Without My Hausfrau Hooker Mom Edition

when i get home from work!  THIS is the kind of soap opera i remember from when i was a kid watching with my mother! 

This is awesome!

Noah used entirely too much teeth.

Martha Byrne was so totally like "watch it with that needle, bit player, i'm the star of this show".

As much as how cute it is that LOAH wants to take it slow, there is a definite "PLEASANTVILLE" vibe to their scenes that's jarring when compared to the rest of the show. it's like they exist outside the space-time continuim.

http://whitewingeddove.blogspot.com/
 

 

"first he suggests candles and rosepetals on the duvet..."

^ WHAT? is this a soap or a freaking romance novel? i'd be like "candles? uh, how about in the kitchen, since...oh i don't know...we're there all the time....that counter needs some action and i mean more than cutting food on it...mmmkaayyyy?"

...but eh...maybe i'm just one of those people who, when it comes to sex, just wants to do it and not take time lighting candles and throwing rosepetals on beds....

 

Oh hey -- have you noticed this Multigrain Cheerios that is obviously British but has been re-dubbed and had the American version of the box clumsily inserted with really bad CGI? It's creeeeeeeepy! 

Yes. I thought it was just me that noticed the wierdness of that commercial. Everything about it looks really different from any other commercial that I've seen. Thank you for mentioning it in today's blog. 

 

This live blog was kinda fun for a while.  I could figure out the story line and keep aware of how much play the gay couple's storyline was getting without having to DVR it and watch every day.

But now the comments have become so obscure that I have no idea what's happening.  It's hard to tell where the story stops and  irony and sarcasm kick in.  And with ever-increasing acronyms and unrelated culture references it leaves me without the slightest idea

Comments like "At one point Lady D yells "Bang Bang Bang you're dead!", which needs to get the YTMND treatment, stat." or "Ooh! Hotprechaun ® ! Okay, I'm distracted by him now." may be fun for the folks both sitting at their computer and watching TV, but not so much for me.

Yeah, I get that live blogging is intended for those watching.  But I'm a little sad that the fun has gone out of it for me.

Brian - I am loving the liveblog and howled at the fast-paced cheesiness of today’s show, but they might as well ship Luke and Noah off to Romper Room as they get to have no fun.

Before getting to Luke and Noah, here are my personal highlights/lowlights (both the same for me most days if a story is not grabbing my heart) from today’s show:

1) Hot cop with the buzz cut at Memorial must have a twin who is also a cop, as the same face/uniform was on yesterday in the big bad streets of NYC asking crazed mommy on the run Sofie if all was ok. Those nice NYC cops!

2) Unlike two days go, the writers remembered that Meg hates Lily as Lily (she of the biggest black buttons on the red jacket) got no "I am glad you're not dead" hug after she hugged Holden.

3) Elizabeth Hubbard channeling her best Rambo/Helen Lawson as Lucinda finally got defanged for the day. “Mrs. Walsh" was so pleasantly over the top both on the phone and barking at syringe man.

4) Worst acting of the day: Evan Walsh IV or Hotleprechaun? To me, H wins as the poor winner of CBS' InTurn was shock and awed before getting more episodes to simmer down. Could the props people have given EV4 a gun or something to make him look a little more menacing? Cowboy Jack could have taken him without a hand up its rear.

5) LOL moment of the day: Seeing 20 grown men huddled outside of room 408, which today became room 208 for dramatic effect. They needed a fainting woman to add to the cartoon effect when EV4 came out with the ladies. That multipurpose room serves as Eli's "lab"/turn-style open murder scene, and apparently now can be turned into a hostage situation room, as computers/desk/research (including DNA switching email station) can be moved and replaced by an open scalpel cart.

6) Shrek playing the hero as Skankie Ho Meg kind of forgot to call him on using his obvious gay attraction to Vitalis Man to manipulate her into believing that he was concerned about Holden. Since she's all about the meat, she can be forgiven.

7) Although we had Lily's red coat and Luci's orange thing (covering a sleeveless brown number) to shake things up, this show has officially gone green. Green walls, green clothes, and my favorite: Clashing green clothes on the green background.

8) Can anyone explain to me how EV4 is dead since no one (self included) injected him with any of the killer juice? The syringe was still full!!! The show must not be using the amazing choreographers who staged the amazing Luke and Noah towel dance last year. H-O-T.

Speaking of our kids.......... Tragic. It is obvious that the show runners got the memo on who Oakdale's favorite couple is, so now they are getting used as a teaser (in every way) to OPEN the show, yet they barely got more airtime than Faithless and Gnat. Given the cheesiness of the show and the blatant way in which they were almost breaking the 4th wall by responding to us, Luke (the writer of last summer's Invisible Girl) and Noah (future director) should have been shown in different versions of their imagined first time fantasies. They did this with Maddie and Noah and can serve as a way to get away with murder without committing to any of the scenarios explored. We could have been laughing with them.

In this "Make Your Own Kind of Music" realization day with talk of family and companionship, we got nothing on the meaty, juicy, thick, long, white elephant trunk in the middle of the room. Both of the portrayers should win Emmys simply for being able to say those lines without laughing/screaming/demanding to be let out of their contracts.

Can’t they play the teasing game back at the farm and sneak a few kisses and handball action rather than playing second banana to a banana split and a ham sandwich? If this were post-sex banter, then it would be fine as it’s a soap and everyone has to say/do silly things. Our guys don’t get to do ANYTHING. They don’t even get to move as all they do is talk about family and making the right decision to live in the most senseless of ways.

Grandmother Walsh has an awesome guest house (as does junkie mom) that Luke used to party in when he and Kevin hit the bottle. How about no drinking, no PNP, no candles, and some major macking on grandmother’s couch? If that leads to a little handball, fine, if not at least they could further the romantic/intimate part that they seem to want to foster. No need to approach any activity that may require the use of a condom.

I don’t see how their 5 minutes today can please us or serve as a non-threatening exploration for anyone that may by SHOCKED by a little kiss.

Score of all non-Luke/Noah scenes: A- for just managing to make me laugh and for not showing the teen mother mess, tweener Parker, and a now charred yet still annoying Cowboy Jack.

Luke and Noah score: Failing grade even with grade inflation; however the actors both get A's for injecting their meat with some pepper. 

Drat!

Started watching half way through the 2:25 bit and missed the rose petals / locker room talk! So please, please, please post a video clip update soon!

That whole hostage thing got resolved pretty quick. When I saw the preview clip that was posted yesterday I was thinking that they would use the whole "I'm not in the mood cause my mom and grandma are being held hostage" as an excuse for Luke for at least a couple of more episodes.

I'll admit it, I'm clueless about the meaning of YTMND ? ? But I don't want you to change your recaps a bit Brian.

What are the chances that we might get a kiss (if even in a dream sequence) for Valentine's Day ? ?

...but I have to say, I laughed harder at Guillermo's post. You are so articulate at what I am thinking! This show actually is getting to be as much fun as Passions.

And they are talking about "meat" and "oral fixations" but they won't let a little kiss slip through? Do they thinks the 'phobes are only visual and can't hear this stuff? (shakes head in defeat)

 

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
Oscar Wilde

These two should be going to Sexual Compulsive Anonymous metting to deal witgh their sexual anorexia.  You know where they fear getting a woody will make them look fat.  No it is where they have a trues fear sex.  Hell these guys don't even masturbate, no tthat they would ever so such a thing on a soap opera or anywhere else.  These towo are way too chaste to be real gay men.  I think they need to have an openly gay writer on the show to show them what sex is rerally abou.  Though that can be problematic.  There are gay writers on DESPARATE HOUSEWIVES but they write the women like they are gay men.  We need more clones of Greg Berlanti and David Marshall Grant.

On the one hand, I was kind of surprised (and pleased) that the guys got to talk about being hot for each other in such... obvious terms. I mean, PORN was mentioned here! On the other hand, it annoys me, because they don't even get to touch during the scene. Like it's OK to talk about their desires, as long as they don't actually act on those desires and they come to the conclusion that what they really want is a family. I don't expect them to start doing it on the coffee shop table of course, but I think any other couple would have kissed at some point during all that flirting, or at least laced their fingers together over (or under) the table.

You know. One should expect some level of absurdity from soaps, but serioully, todays show was off the charts. Those stand off scenes were not even laughable, ok there were. A lot. It was ridiculous.

Our boys saved the day for me. Sweet talk and they do have good chemistry together, but the problem is that is only talk. I was stunned that they were talking about porn in daytime TV but I loved it. Im really interested to see what they do with these two on valentines day.

Also, I am suprised about the criticism of Brians liveblogs. He has been very consistent in presenting every character from the beginning and the references are not really obscure. So Brian, I love your style so keep it up.

 

Were/are you a fan of Passions? I could never get into it as comedy is so hard to write. ATWT has been my only daytime addiction since Lily and Lion King Holden first captured my imagination in the mid 1980s. I gave in to camp for about a year and a half a few years back when I stumbled into DOOL, but without love the heart can't go on..... Sing it Celine.... Stop!

How long have you been an ATWT fan? In the old days, I could never get enough of the show’s character-driven stuff with great theatre-trained actors giving some weight to the stories. I think I am done mourning and, as long as Jean Passanante and Chris Goutman can curb their non-stop misogynistic attacks and hateful stories, I can watch and laugh with fans like you. I’d love to see some of the heart back as that is what keeps one from getting a divorce. I was ready to be a total dork and give in to the sappy Lily and Holden reunion today until the Bad Seed girls came in.

Seeing Faithless reminded me of how likely it is that the next time that we see her, the show-runners may think that it would be fun  to show the moon-faced girl feeding laxatives to an old school Baby Alive, or holding the still unaccounted for Emma hostage in the panic room downstairs.

With regard to our boys, I'd rather watch Luke and Noah all American Beautied out in rose petals than have to listen to yet another conversation about bananas and ham. Is Dr. Seus penning this crap? At this rate, the next time we see them will be putting away dishes at the Snyder farm with Luke asking Noah if he prefers to put the dishes away in the top shelves, lower shelves, or whether he likes to do both. I just hope they manage to surprise us by having Noah respond that he's scared of the top shelves and his only experience is having his bottom shelves stocked.

Brian, keep the fun coming!

These blogs of your's are really great you know!

Oh. My. God.  They soooooooooo went there!

The raging irony was perfect, right down to the background muzak.  Self-referential humor really is fun, and I too wonder how Van and Jake got through this without splitting their guts laughing.

But what's the deal with family planning?  Guys, as any heterosexual can tell you, you need to f*ck before you start a family.

They should have gone to the party!

...Guillermo, for calling me sexy. No one has called me that in a long while (figures it'd be a gay guy...) And it's Janet, not Jane. No, I was not a fan of Passions. I watched it about once a month, you know, like watching a car crash. With sick fascination. It cracked me up and I could not believe it was on the air. I loved the crazy witch (witch stuff is my deal) and her extravagant way of dressing. Unfortunately, I missed the guy/guy stuff. Serves me right for not be a loyal watcher. Oy.

I have not been a fan of ATWT before getting sucked into it while reading AE. I quit watching soaps years ago when my housewifey, raising kids life got turned upside down. I used to watch All My Children and One Life to Live. I witnessed first hand the Bianca kiss. (and also ATWT's Paul who was Todd on OLTL go over a cliff in the trunk of a car and various other non-permanent deaths) I also watched (with my mother) The Edge of Night and Ryan's Hope as a kid. There may have even been a phase of Dark Shadows in there somewhere. The Edge of Night had a very "film noir" feel about it and that is what I loved even as a nine year old. OLTL was the very definitive on "hostages in the basement room". The multiple personality/crazy with the most respected long time dame doing the "drinking, sex, prostitute" thing as her alternate just could not be beat. Ah yes, those were the days.

Then with our boys, I cannot believe what these writers are doing. When the "we want an alternate family" conversation started, I thought they were going to talk about adopting a needy child. I mean, they get lots of practice babysitting constantly. Honestly, do they really think that teenage boys talk like that? Males of any age don't usually talk that much. And about sex, pretty much nil. Well, in my experience anyway. An empty farmhouse means sex upstairs, a farm house full of sleeping family members means really quiet sex upstairs or if the stairs are too squeaky, on the couch. How about that fancy veranda at night? Does not at least one of them borrow the family car? A late drive home, the back seat. And what's with this walk around the pond? What part of "doing it standing up in the woods" is so impossible? When I was a teenager, (never mind how many years ago) getting off was not that big a deal. It wasn't a life shattering event. It didn't have to involve actual penetration. Endless groping and necking was a given. (my kids go "necking???? what the hell is that?") I can only imagine the chagrin that Van and Jake experience when reading their scripts for the first time. They could completely wing it with better results.

But you know, it is still really fun to discuss it and read all the posts. It cracked me how you noticed the crappy colors on the sets and the costumes. This is stuff I dealt with for years doing theatre costumes.

 

 

I say we take the warning labels off everything and let nature take it's course.

Every time I read yet another comment that Luke and Noah are not like "real teens" or "real life" I just sigh.  Of course they're not.  Accept the limitations.  They're on a daytime soap.  Not only that, they're TEENS on a daytime soap.  You're not going to see anything close to real life, much less Queer As Folk.  I enjoy and appreciate the show for what it is and for the boundaries it is breaking within the genre.  Stop criticizing an orange because it isn't an apple.  Today's scenes were an absolute hoot.  I was laughing and enjoying every double-entendre'd minute of it. 

If Nuke want an "alternative family" maybe they can start with Luke's baby brother! Have we seen ANY sign of this kid at all? Does he still exist? Who the heck is taking care of him? Or is Nana the Dog watching over him in the garage?