Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Brought to you by the 2009 Pontiac Toaster Strudel

It's a berry very big day in Oakdale: After yesterday's smashing television interview success, Luke is ignoring potential death threats and is taking his gay rights cause to the next level: namely, a rally at Metro. Let's just hope Carly doesn't get to all the booze first!

Yes, Oakdale's very own Harvey Milkshake is off and running despite cautions from his stepfather Holden, and as the previews for today's episode have led us to believe, it will once again put him in harm's way. Will this be another example of our gay hero being felled by a smudge of strawberry filling on the forehead and rolled down a hill, or will this development be more damaging to his gay frame?

To find out as it happens, follow along below and refresh for breaking updates! 

"Lookout lookout lookout!"

2:08PM EDT: We start off with Luke picking up Noah at Java. But while Noah wants to hit Bed, Boys and Beyond, Luke wants to sideline picking out a new shower curtain for something else. Over at the Lily Pad, Detective Clarice Starling tells Lily that the threatening note that was lovingly wrapped and left on the doorstep means that she should lay low. Also, she's dressed like an executive leprechaun.

Holden comes in and is all, "what's up with the threatening note business?"

Meanwhile, Luke has dragged Noah to Metro, where Quaker Oats Lady is likely sleeping under a table somewhere. Luke tells Noah that he's planned a gay rights rally at Metro ... for today. In the last like hour or so. He tells Noah that he needs his help to pull it off ... uh, doesn't sound like it! Oh, he wants Noah to help convince Lily to speak at the rally. Shrinking violet that she is! 

Later Henry tries to use Luke's rally as an excuse to get out of going with General Foods International Coffees Cafe Vienna to her first OBGYN visit. But unfortunately Miss Thing behind the bar tells him that he runs the A/V department at OU and he can handle it. Snap!

Back at the LP, Luke and Noah tell Holden about the rally, but Holden is all, "Oh no you don't! Did you see how well-taped that box was? This person is clearly unhinged!"

2:15PM EDT: Luke is all, "I gotta siinnnnnnng!" and Holden says he doesn't like his wife and son making targets of themselves, and Noah chimes in agreeing. Uh-oh, Holden/Noah alliance! (Hoah? Nolden?) Luke's all, "Listen Dad, I can understand if you don't come to the rally but I hope you realize why I have to do it" and takes off, and when Holden tries to call Carly to have her shut down the club, Lily tries to stop him: "Don't bother, she's too drunk to hear the phone!"

Clarice can't believe that Austin and Blonde Obstacle picked Vienna Hyatt to carry their baby. Why not, she's already named after a hotel!

Lily urges Holden to let Luke have the rally, and Holden is worried that someone will hurt him. Lily says the person who wrote the note probably doesn't even know Luke and Holden points out that they were clearly just on the front porch, so BAM! 

2:18PM EDT: Lily tells Holden that she has to support Luke because of what she let Damiaaaaaaan force her into doing (i.e., almost sending Luke to ex-gay camp) when he came out. Holden reminds her that Luke has forgiven her, but she won't budge. Holden finally relents and says that if they hurry they can still make it to the rally.

OMG, how hilarious would it be if they were the ones that hit him?! 

2:25PM EDT: Luke is amazed at the turnout, and Noah is proud of him, even if his parents couldn't make it. Luke gets up and talks into the impeccably-tuned, booming soundsystem (way to go, bartender!) and rallies the crowd of 6 or 7 around their recent discrimination. And what do you know, Gilded Lily and Holden come in and Luke calls Lily up to the mic as his "biggest supporter". 

The OBGYN takes a look in Cafe Vienna's percolator and tells her that there's no baby in the carafe. Oops!

Lily takes some questions from the audience, who tell her that she looked great "on the TEE-vee" and ask her if there have been any negative reactions from anyone. Luke tells them (still in the voice of the Great Wizard of OZ) that he left some research in his car and that he'll be right back.

He goes out to the parking lot and that's when it happens: A giant toaster strudel on wheels comes from out of nowhere and mows him down! Luke is left with a healthy dollop of strawberry filling on his brow, his research papers falling around his motionless form like autumn leaves. 

2:28PM EDT: Okay, I just watched it again, and it was actually pretty darn well done - it was an actual person in those bootcut jeans, not a mannequin. And I liked how Luke thanked Holden for coming right before he got mowed down. Papa, don't preach!

2:35PM EDT: Someone in a black wool trench and gloves ambles rather casually up to Luke's prone form, picks him up and walks away. Hmmm, any guesses who that might be?

Meanwhile, Cafe Vienna lies to Austin from Days and Blonde Obstacle about the nonexistent pepperkakor in her oven.

Inside Metro, Holden decides to go help Luke find his research, and Noah jokes that he'll need a bulldozer to find anything in Luke's mess of a car. When Holden gets outside, Luke is nowhere to be found ... but there's a tell-tale puddle of strawberry filling near his car! Holden dips a finger in it, but doesn't taste it (which would have been awesome). Lily and Noah come outside for no apparent reason and Holden tells them that Luke .... is .... missing!!

2:45PM EDT: Holden calls 911 and tells them that he thinks his son has been in an accident but he doesn't know where he is. "I love my missing gay injured son!" Over at Al's, Henry says that Cafe Vienna was hungry for scones and jam, which is dangerously close to Toaster Strudel. I'VE GOT IT! Cafe Vienna's escaped fetus ran down Luke!! 

At the hospital, a visibly battered Luke is unconscious, and our Non-Mystery Man leaves a post-it on Luke with Lily's name and number. Okay, anyone want to call that number? 312-555-0041. Please tell me it's the consumer feedback line for Pillsbury!

Back at Metro, Detective Clarice Starling does her standard bang-up job of learning little and determining nothing. She wonders if the person who wrote the note might have run him down. Lily gets a call from the hospital, who tells her that Luke might have been the victim of a hit-and-run. Uh ... duh. 

Back in the diner, Vienna signs the contract to carry the baby that she isn't actually carrying, but I'm distracted by the extra who is absentmindedly not cleaning the same two spots on the table behind them.

2:51PM EDT: Lily's already beating up herself about letting the rally happen despite Holden's warnings. Noah takes a similar tack, warning an unconscious Luke that if he dies Reese's Piece will sue them for breaking the lease. HA! Man after my own heart, sad to say.  

Luke wakes up and is SHOCKED to learn that his family thinks that his getting mowed down while carrying an armful of gay rights research 20 feet from a gay rights rally at which he was gay speaking has aaaaaaanything to do with his being gay. 

And another plug for The Man from Oakdale! "Having kids is like drowning in a daily war zone." Wait, did Henry write that or did Lily? But Henry is willing to deal with the war zone if it makes her happy and who DOESN'T think that they're going to get real-pregnant here and play it off as Brad and Katie's because they signed the contract?

2:57PM EDT: Detective Clarice tells Luke and company that they haven't found anything (shocka!) and Luke says that he doesn't want to live in fear and that disappearing now is the worst thing for the cause. Boy, Luke does look pretty messed up, doesn't he? The doctor comes in and tells Luke that he'll need rest for the next 48 hours anyway, so that takes care of that. Holden tells him that he doesn't want to take this away from him but that he just wants him to be safe. Noah agrees to keep the momentum of the cause going. Luke says that Noah inspires him every day, and Noah gives him a big, tender kiss and heads out.

Clarice agrees to put a guard at Luke's door ... later. For now, he's of course left totally alone, with the lights out. The man in black comes in and takes Luke's hand. Luke, his eyes closed, giggles and says, "You can't get enough of me, can you Noah?" He opens his eyes ... "Damian?!" and we see Papa Grimaldi's gorgeous mug.

AWKWARD!

Preview Time: Tomorrow we'll see how Luke's family deals with Damian's return. And OMG what is up with that ad for a contest for a free trip to NYC for a colonoscopy?! I guess the Empire State Building just isn't pulling them in anymore?