Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Pop off!

As evidenced by the preview clip we ran in today's Queerview, Little Lord Trustfundelroy isn't warming up at all to his father Damian's continued presence in Oakdale. Today Luke throws a bit of a fit on the set of a PSA he's supposed to be doing for the Luke Snyder Foundation for Kids Who Can't Read Good That Has Nothing to Do With That Ass-Face Damian Grimaldi ... is it just me or is his behavior creeping ever-closer to that of the chicks on The Bad Girls Club?

At any rate, he tells his pop to take off, and one can only wonder if banging cookie sheets together will be in his near future.

To find out if it happens today, join us below, refreshing often for breaking updates! 

"Pop off!"

2:09PM EDT: We start off with some supposedly wacky baby banter between Austin From Days and The Blonde Obstacle, who are too wrapped up in their own pregnancy fantasies to listen to one another. Henry calls, and BO right away is all, "WHAT'S WRONG IS SOMETHING WRONG?!" and Henry's all, "no, we just wanted to take you to lunch." She's not convinced nothing's wrong because Henry offers to pay. Ha!

Over at Java, Luke pops in to see Noah, who gets all Lawrence Nightingale and makes him sit down. Luke says he just had to get out of the house after 3 hours of watching cartoons with Ethan. He tells Noah that some guy offered to pay for some PSAs for the Foundation, and he makes Noah take off work to come give him moral support. Luke, meanwhile is convinced that the hit-and-run and hatemail are connected. Wait, wasn't he pooh-poohing the thought last week?

Detective Clarice tells Gilded Lily and Holden that they've reached out to their contacts in various hate groups and none of them are responsible for Luke's hit-and-run. Am I the only one curious what hate groups are bouncing around Oakdale?

At the station, Luke tells a rather hot production assistant in horn-rimmed glasses to let the nice grey-haired lady know that he's there, and tells Noah that he thinks that Damian was behind the hit-and-run. Noah isn't buying it, but Luke says he hopes that Damian got his message that he wants him out of town. Of course, nice grey-haired lady brings out Damian and introduces him as the donor for the PSAs.

Sooooo Luke's Foundation is flush with cash anyway, so why does he need a donor to begin with? 

2:17PM EDT: Holden smells a rat with the timing of Damian's arrival. Luke, meanwhile, won't let Damian buy him off. Again. He tells him to stay "far ... far ... away!" and storms off. Meanwhile, Clarice thinks that maybe Damian's out to scare Luke out of using the Grimaldi name on a gay rights foundation. She tells Holden to stay out of it and not to take matters into his own hands, to which he replies with a helpful, "I won't .... unless I have to." Thanks ... unless no thanks.

Meanwhile, the wacky babymamaness continues, with Cafe Vienna running off to toss her pepperkakor before she can spill the beans on the vacancy in her ladybusiness. 

2:26PM EDT: Back at the Lily Pad, Holden is still upset that Damian might have run down Luke. Lily's still not buying it, saying it'd be stupid to try to win Luke back by running him over. She's convinced that Margo will find the real perp, which means that she clearly has no idea what she's talking about. She and Holden kiss and suddenly we cut to the Damian-Cam: He's spying at them, and Lily sees.

At Java, Noah tells Luke to take Damian's money for the PSAs and Luke says he's not doing it. He asks what Noah would do if the Captain showed up and pulled this jazz. Holden confronts Peeping Damian and he tells Lily he wanted to talk to her, explaining the PSA thing. She has to admit that the PSAs would be a good thing for their work, and Holden's all, "what are you doing, lady!" and she calls Luke to tell him that Damian has no hidden agenda ... suddenly she gets all Jumping Jack Flash on him by making up her side of the conversation, and Luke gets that she's up to something.

Lily tells Damian that they're going ahead with the PSAs, but not with his money, and shows him the door. Well that was a quick change of heart! Now she thinks that Margo will catch Damian trying to pull something. That's it, provoke the rich sociopath!

2:28PM EDT: Oh - And Vienna's really pregnant, with Henry's baby, which is a surprise to exactly nobody. But of course now Austin and BO think that they might have TWINS on the way. Ugh. 

2:38PM EDT: Luke and Gilded Lily meet up at the station and she tells him that she's paying for the PSAs. Nice grey-haired lady is reeeeaaallly all about these PSAs, isn't she? She's talking about them like they're Twitter or something!

Back at the Pad, Damian looks like he's about to break in ... which it looks like he does. Henry has a wet washcloth on his head, making him look like he's wearing a Napoleon hat. Cafe Vienna brandishes a home pregnancy test to prove to him once and for all that she's preggers.

Back at the Pad, Lily and Holden come home to find the place has been trashed! Luke is celebrating over at Java, and Damian shows up to tell them that he's gotten the message. Pop is popping off? I no thinky. Nor does Luke, who says it was too easy. Noah notices that Damian tracked a bunch of mud into Java, and Luke wonders where he could have been. 

Back at the Lily Pad, Holden notices muddy footprints. The babysitter comes down and says that she saw someone with a black coat and grey scarf in the garden earlier. They call Clarice Starling and she's on the case! 

2:45PM EDT: Upstairs, Vienna has peed on the stick and of course she is indeed pregnant. Henry is the opposite of over the moon. Under the moon? Under the rainbow? But after Vienna reminds Austin and BO that the baby is all theirs, Henry all of a sudden decides he wants it. Fickle pickle!

At Java, Noah asks Luke if he doesn't wish a little that he could work things out with his father, saying that he found Damian "... interesting." Oh really, Noah?

Holden calls Luke over to the PD, and Clarice collars Damian at the front desk at the hotel. 

2:55PM EDT: Blonde Obstacle has the great idea of having Henry and Cafe Vienna move in with them so that she can cook for her and make sure she's not dyeing her hair and eating sushi. Austin remembers momentarily that he has a grown daughter who is currently embroiled in a battle over her underage marriage to her cousin ... and then it's gone.

Damian insists that Holden and his maid (nee babysitter) have it out for him, and that someone else has muddy shoes other than him. He says he was leaving because he couldn't get what he wanted. He asks if he's under arrest and Clarice says he's not but that he can't leave Oakdale until they solve who was in the Lily Pad. Convenient. He tries to go back to the hotel but Clarice makes him leave his uptown matchin' shoes, and he has to walk home in his socks. After he's gone, Holden gets all "Get away from her you bitch!" with Clarice, telling her that she'd better protect Luke and Lily. Back off, Charles Bronson!

Outside, Noah says he's still not convinced that Damian is guilty and Luke says he doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt. The second Luke is gone Damian shows up and tells Noah that Luke and his family are wrong about him, and that he's changed. Damian asks Noah to give him a chance to prove himself and my slashfic sensors are PEAKING OFF THE CHARTS

Noah turns down Damian's request to help him get through to Luke, but Damian watches Noah working in Java after he leaves. Intrigue-y!

Preview Time: No Nuke tomorrow, but we'll be here Thursday for the big arrival!