Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Radio Gaga

Move over, Les Nessman and Herb Tarlek: There's a new dynamic duo on the airwaves and they've got better taste in ties. 

Today Luke and Noah take their gay housing discrimination grievances to the airwaves of WOAK, where they will likely be sandwiched between reruns of old Fibber McGee and Molly episodes Casey Kasem Top 40 Countdowns from 1986. Will their message come through loud and clear?

To find out as it happens, follow along below, refreshing often for updates!

Radio, someone still loves you! 

2:07PM EDT: The episode starts out with Luke telling Lily that "we've done an informal poll of the gay community - nothing scientific" about housing discrimination. Off and running! Noah wonders how this homophobic landlord figured out that he and Luke were a gay couple, bringing me back to my theory that Reese's Pieces has gaydar that's a bit too developed for comfort. Lily points out that she owns a television network and that that would be the perfect way to get the message out to all the gays who have been wronged in Oakdale.

What, are they going to run a Golden Girls marathon with embedded subliminal images? 

Meanwhile, Diet Juno and Parker are talking about how they shouldn't have raided the mini-bar, and Quaker Oats Lady has a hissy-fit at the hotel desk when the concierge refers to the two brats as "Mr. and Mrs. Snyder".

Meanwhile, did I base this whole liveblog on radio and the boys are actually going to be on the fancy box with the moving pictures? Oh my. How embarrassing. For them! Er...

2:15PM EDT: Craig thinks Quaker Oats Lady should thank him for stopping her from making spectacles of herself. She goes off the handle again but he thinks that all they have is the honeymoon suite so they have to come back sometime, and wonders where two broke, recently-married kids would hang out. Which set is free? Emily's office? Eh, that'll work.

Over at the radio station (just close your eyes, it's the same thing) Lily and Luke agree to do an interview on the local public affairs show, in ten minutes. They nervously agree and head off to makeup. Anyone else hoping that they come out done up like Nina Flowers?

Oh, and Mr. and Mrs. Diet Juno are at Java and they decide to get jobs there. Watch your back, Noah - they look like they'd dip into the tip jar! 

2:25PM EDT: On the air! Luke says that the Luke Snyder Foundation for Kids Who Don't Read Good is launching an initiative to help victims of housing discrimination, whether they're LGBT or not. And is it wrong to notice how hot Lily looks right now? Probably.

Lily goes into a touching speech about how she came on to the foundation because she's not proud of how she handled Luke's coming out, and Luke defends her. He says that lots of gay kids have it worse. Lily adds that the idea of someone being discriminated against is shameful for this country. She says that she and Luke have come full-circle and she's proud to fight for his rights with him. Meanwhile, Noah smiles from the sidelines the whole time. 

Noah tells them after the interview that every phone line in the station is backed up. Luke asks if that's a good thing or a bad thing? I hope he wouldn't ask the same question if it were every toilet in the station. Ba-dum-bum!

Meanwhile, Mr. and Mrs. Diet Juno get turned down for a job at Java and Craig and Quaker Oats Lady ambush them by the biscotti display. 

2:30PM EDT: Mr. and Mrs. Diet Juno go to the diner to talk to Dammit!, and when Matthew Perry 2.0 arrives to give Dammit! the third degree she drags him outside so as not to argue in front of the nonexistent customers. Or the Jell-O cups. Or something.

Meanwhile, Dammit! has left the cash register open. We know this because the cameraman almost falls into the drawer pointing it out. Of course Parker steals the money and drags his wifey away. Dammit! and MP2.0 realize immediately that it was their good-for-nothin' kids.

2:40PM EDT: Parker tries to pretend he won the money playing poker, but MP2.0 smells a rat, and he arrests him. There goes his Father's Day gift!

Turns out that the calls into the station have been positive and have inspired some people who have been through similar things. And it turns out Noah provided the operators with a script to direct people to the Foundation website. He's not just a pretty face!

Suddenly Reese's Pieces shows up and offers the guys the apartment, saying that the other tenants "didn't qualify" and that he doesn't want any legal hassles. And again I feel bad for finding the baddie landlord a little hot. Luke and Noah take the apartment after he agrees not to discriminate against anyone else and fix the refrigerator. These gays drive a hard bargain!

Meanwhile, Quaker Oats Lady is drowning her curds and whey in cheap white wine. Atta girl! MP2.0 books Parker as an adult, but I'm distracted by the fact that Diet Juno is looking like what would walk out of the wreckage if Chloe Sevigny and Kate Hudson got into an accident. Which I mean as a compliment.

2:49PM EDT: Blah blah blah Liberty Parker blah ... Ooh, MP2.0 just told Quaker Oats that he'll talk to her when she's not shitfaced. HAWT!!

Back at the Lily Pad, Lily thinks they should send a DVD of the interview to every member of the board. Noah loves how well the two of them came across and Lily's very appreciative of it.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door ... Lily gets it and there's a cardboard box on the mat. Noah's suspicious and Luke jokes, "what, you think it's a bomb?" and as he opens it he yells "BOOM!" Uh ... funny, kid. There's a note in the box that reads, "stop defending perverts and sinners or you'll be sorry". And it's not signed? How rude! More than anything I'm wondering what kind of rabid homophobe takes the time to wrap a hate note tidily in a box. Are there no bricks in Oakdale? 

2:55PM EDT: Noah thinks they should turn the note into the police. I was actually hoping that Damien would pop out of the box, anyone else? Lily says that this note proves that they're in for a nasty fight. Quick, get Cyndi Lauper back here STAT! And Craig asks Quaker Oats Lady out for a drink and she turns him down. Oh come on, where's the fun in that?!

Does anyone else think that Carly's ponytail and makeup would be better suited for a touring production of Grease than this drama?

Preview Time! Uh-oh, it looks like tomorrow's Luke's day to fly! We'll be here to liveblog every crunch!