Liveblogging "As the World Turns": So Noah Married an Axe Murderer

Oh, fine, fine ... Ameera's not technically wielding any sharp objects and to our knowledge she hasn't actually killed anyone. Yet.

But is there anyone out there who doesn't think that she's up to no good? There mustn't be, because if even the characters on the show have gotten wise to the situation (they're not always the quickest on the uptake, if you remember), then that means it must be pretty much written on her face. 

Yes, in today's episode, noted rocket scientist Casey is the first person to realize that Ameera has designs on Noah that go beyond simply marrying and living with him. (Crazy, right?) The real question now is whether resident Queen of Denial Luke will finally get hip to the situation and stand up for himself and his ever-dense boyfriend, or end up being boiled on the stovetop like Mister Hopsalot.

How will it all go down? Click on through the jump and refresh to find out as it happens, and join in the bitchfest in the comments! 

Ameera, is that a machete in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?

2:55PM EDT: Preview time! A fully-scarfless (and smokin' hot!) Ameera grabs Noah by the face and plants a full one on him. Wow -- that's your two kisses, lovebirds. Now get ready for 6 months of drymouth. 

2:50PM EST: Casey stresses that Ameera isn't into him because she's sniffing up Noah's hydrant. Luke replies that she can open up to him because he's "safe" and Casey says, "whatever, dude." I kind of like that he called Luke "dude". Casey's late for work, so he leaves, and through the window Luke sees Noah put his arm around Ameera. 

And Casey is late, and he gets fired! Aw, poor kid. Evil Emily shows up and asks him for a drink and he says he doesn't work there because the girl he likes rejected him for a gay guy and he was five minutes late. He hands her a bottle and leaves.

Back at the love shack, Noah can't figure out why Casey "flew off the handle" and quit the project. Luke tells him that Casey liked Ameera and she's clearly into Noah. He says that he didn't want to see it, but that Casey opened his eyes to the fact that they don't know anything about her and she's far too into him. Luke says, "every day you spend with her, I lose." Noah tells Luke that he's in love with him, and just then Ameera comes around the corner with two plates of food and the stink-eye for Luke.

Luke leaves abruptly and on the way out looks at Noah and Ameera sitting down to dinner together, and shakes his head in that "how could I have been so stuuuuupid?!" way. 

2:46PM EDT: Casey storms off and Luke follows him. Casey yells, "I quit you, Luke!" and asks Luke if that was loud enough for ICE to hear. Brokeback reference? Eh, not bad.

Casey tells Luke that Ameera is in love with her gay husband and the Luke blubbers on about how no, when you save someone's life they want to kiss you in a totally platonic way, or some such nonsense.

Luke tries to convince Casey that Ameera is really into him. Um, why, exactly? She's clearly not, and he clearly suspects that Ameera is Noah-blocking. Luke, give me the zipcode from the state of DENIAL and I'll send you a postcard.

2:42PM EDT: Casey basically lays down the law, that what they're doing isn't worth it. Ameera's all "keep your voice down!" and Luke apologizes if his gay teasings went too far, but Casey responds that that's not it, it's that he doesn't want to live a lie (again).

He asks Ameera what she thinks they should do. 

2:37PM EDT: Blah, blah blah. Lots of other crap. Oh - Emily just got into kind of a hot standoff with her male assistant, who quits on her for being such a bayotch. Bring that guy back - he's good!

Okay, back at the diner, Ameera is telling Noah that nothing's going on, that she's just nervous being out in public. Liar! To convince her that things are fine, Luke puts his arm around Casey, who finally reaches his Gay Panic tipping point and throws his arm off, saying that he's not gay and not a cameraman (uh, we noticed!) and since there's clearly no chance of his getting into St Olaf's flowing pants, he's not putting up with all this nonsense anymore. 

Okay, he's smarter than I thought. 

2:26PM EDT: Ameera's all "Noah's not into women, he's with Luke". Casey's all, "Yeah, but you're totally mooning over him and you should cool it" and she's all "POP OFF, CASEY!!"

She seriously does get this crazy dark-and-stormy look in her eye and she warns him to mind his own business, and Noah and Luke come over to find out what's going on. HOT! This is better than Rock of Love!

Meanwhile, Ice Truck Killer gets into a spat with Emily and asks if she could put her broomstick in the closet every once in a while, and she snaps, "Don't tell me where to put my broomstick!" 

Back at Snyder Farm, a hilariously bad day-player tries to deliver a hot air balloon to Meg and The Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle. This is gonna be good - I hope they wind up in the lion sanctuary like in Footballer's Wives! 

2:18PM EDT: At the diner, Luke and Noah leave Casey and Ameera at the booth and go sit with one another at the counter. Casey sees Ameera's wistful look and asks her flat-out: "You're in love with Noah, aren't you?" 

Someone get Captain Obvious a bone, please. 

2:14PM EDT: Luke tells his actors that they blew it, and Casey says that he didn't have the lens cap off or hadn't pressed RECORD or something similarly brilliant. I'm hoping at this point Luke gets all Lars Von Trier on these guys and starts engaging in serious emotional warfare with his talent.

Ameera of course suggests doing another take (maybe this time they'll get to third base!) and Luke says no, they should stop and pick it up tomorrow. Noah is either stunned or drunk and says nothing.

2:08PM EDT: We start with Ice Truck Killer and Sophie. Oh my - there's a ticker at the bottom of the screen telling me that due to the live broadcast of the Pope's visit, "Guiding Light will be seen at 2:07AM". Denied! Guess the Pope likes the gay boys of Oakdale too much to interrupt their story? 

Back at the love shack. Cake and Nameera are working on their "movie", and they explain the tradition of carrying one's sham bride over the threshold. Ameera is of course tickled to be in Noah's arms, and after she delivers her subsequent line with all the personality of oversteamed asparagus, she suggests they try again.

Noah carries her through the door again, and out of nowhere she plants a kiss on his lips. Luke looks at them like that particular interaction is vaguely familiar and perhaps something he himself has experienced, oh, say ... over six months ago? 

1:55PM EDT: OMG - two of the bottle blondes on The Bold and the Botoxed just had a full-on fight over one of the woman's dead dog, with her accusing the other lady of killing the pooch with poisoned lemon bars. Drama!