Liveblogging "As the World Turns": Three's a Crowd!

Okay, have we all caught our collective breath after yesterday's out-of-left-field kiss between Luke and Noah? Are we ready to revisit the still-flagging storyline with renewed interest and newfound resolve? And more than anything, are we prepared for the glory that is Hot & Horny Ameera?

I'm sure we're all upset that the character has been dropped in between our fellas like daytime television's most earnest chastity belt, but I've really tried to be careful not to be too harsh on our little exile from St. Olaf ("face-hugger" and "remora" comments notwithstanding, of course).

And in that light, WOW! Ameera's a hottie!

But enough about that, as it was always kind of clear that she was hiding her lamp under a bushel. Let's get back to the matter at hand - namely, the romance of Luke and Noah. Now that Ameera's girls motives are out in the open, it looks like Luke suggests that he move in with them. Uh-oh, I see bed-jumping hijinx and Jack Tripper "misunderstandings" aplenty, if that comes to pass. 

How will it all play out? Click on through the jump to find out, as it happens! 

Come and knock on their door ... ICE is waiting for them ... oh hey, look!

Sorry, just wanted to make sure we were all up-to-date.

2:54PM EDT: Luke is back, and he has a cake. Noah asks if he thinks they should really do this, and Luke says that yes, they're a family. Luke kisses Noah's hand, and they call out Ameera, and wish her a happy birthday. She blows out the candles and wishes for her friends to be happy.

Aaaaaaaaand ... scene. 

Yikes! Blonde Obstacle is dressed like a Pussycat Doll or something! Austin From Days says it makes him "feel like a guy". Austin, I have no doubt you feel like a guy. I'd be willing to bet on it.

Back at the diner, a moppet from the Ellen Page collection shows up and asks Henry if there's a hotel nearby, and he learns she's there to meet Austin. Uh-oh!

Preview Time: No Nuke ... but Diet Juno is AFD's daughter! Or at least says she is...

2:48PM EDT: Luke asks if she'd be okay with his living there. Ameera says that what she thinks doesn't matter, as they're helping her, but Luke says it's important that she be okay with it, and she says that she can try. Luke goes to get his stuff and he gives Noah a quick peck on the way out. 

Ameera says that she wants Noah and Luke to be happy, and she goes to put her stuff away, thanking Noah. Back in her room, she picks up her Do-Me Dress and stuffs it in her dresser, obviously frustrated. 

Back at the office, Emily is tired of listening to Casey and Clarice argue about his working for her, so she fires him. This woman goes through more assistants than Miranda Priestly!

2:45PM EDT: Even Sophie seems confused about her hair -- she keeps fingering the bangs and looks like she has a headache from balancing the big puffball thing in the back. I'm waiting for her neck to snap and her head to drop back like a Pez dispenser.

2:38PM EDT: Back with BO and BOO: BO is trashed, and of course gives BOO a kiss before she leaves. Demon liquor! Too bad Oakdale isn't in Utah, because it would solve about 80% if these people's problems. 

Luke says that the most important thing is keeping Ameera safe, which means they have to stay married. He suggests "thinking outside the box", and suggests that marriage today isn't what it used to be. He suggests a roommate. Noah's all, "okay, what do you mean?" Noah, honey, please. Meet us halfway here. Did Ameera suck part of his brain out through his mouth?

Luke says maybe he should move in. Cue the dancing boys! 

2:32PM EDT: EEEEwwww -- what's up with the commercial with the talking wart?! Scarred, thanks. This is the worst since the one where the toenail fungus guy ripped off that big toenail...

Okay, are these new Survivor ads that focus on the ladies totally riding the MILF Island gag from 30 Rock? 

Oh, and someone mentioned Sophie's hair in the comments, and thanks for bringing up. Aside from the obvious topiary appeal, I'm as lost as you are as to the point behind it. 

2:28PM EDT: The Blonde Obstacle and The Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle toast "to denial", and we cut to Austin From Days and Henry chatting at the diner. Not that there's anything funny about that. 

Noah's like, "Home?" And Ameera's like, "back to St. Olaf." She says she's surprised that Luke doesn't want her to leave, and Luke's like, "eh, whatever." Noah tells her that it's no big deal, that he gets kissed all the time.

HA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Real comedians, these guys.

Luke says that the situation is out of control and that they need to find a way to fix it. 

Meanwhile, back at Pity-Me Ranch, Meg is already booking Luke to babysit the brats (uh, let this kid have some space!) when Holden finally lets her know that Lily has made like a tree and left. 

Casey must have played negotiator for a lot of lover's quarrels fights in prison, the way he's handling this. He gets Emily to agree to give Judge Burke a pack of cigarettes and a sharpened toothbrush in exchange for letting them go ... and then Detective Clarice arrests him anyway, and then calls Emily a "freakin' idiot".

Ooh - Holden just threatened to shoot Ice Truck Killer if he came back to the ranch again. He actually runs and grabs a shotgun! This is so Match Point...

2:15PM EDT: Sophie just asked Ice Truck, "can't you see how lame this is?" He's all, "Hmm? Sorry, I was asleep..."

Okay, Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle is a major dreamboat.

Austin From Days calls Blonde Obstacle "empathic" and she's all, "what, am I in the X-Men or something?"

Luke laughs when Noah tells him that Ameera kissed him, saying, "you called me over here to defend your virtue?" Well, he certainly didn't call him over to compromise it ... Luke jokes that he's tired of Noah always being the nice guy, leaving him to do all the dirty work.

Ameera comes out, her bushel back in place. She tells them that she's going home. 

2:05PM EDT: We start off with Ameera attached to Noah's face (resist ... facehugger ... references ...) and Noah pushes her away, saying that he thought he explained to her that it's not gonna happen.

We zoom on over to Pity-Me Ranch, where Holden chats up Luke about how exciting it must be for him to shop for a birthday present for his boyfriend's wife. Holden's about to spill about Lily hitting the road, but just then Noah calls and asks Luke to come over, saying that "things have gotten really weird" and that he needs Luke's help. He's backed up against the wall, and it's almost like a bird got into the living room and he doesn't know how to get rid of it or something. Luke heads off, saying that it's always a good time when the three of them are together. "Come and knock on our door..."

The Blonde Obstacle's Obstacle just told Meg that she's "like malaria", in that she always comes back. That romantic schemer!

Meanwhile, Casey's all hostage negotiation with the killer Judge and Emily, and it works until his colossally clumsy mom shows up. Poor Casey ... he's like the Butters of Oakdale, isn't he?