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Liveblogging "As the World Turns": This Very Special Episode brought to you by your friends at OnStar
Yesterday's As the World Turns featured the most confusing auto accident in the history of television, and today we're back to see how gloriously ill-adept Oakdale's Alpha Gay Teen Couple are at dealing with the aftermath of an accident. Not only should Noah not be allowed behind the wheel of a gas-guzzler if he can manage to "break the front axle" after swerving to avoid hitting thin air while driving so slowly that my Nana with her 2 Teflon hips could easily outrun him, but the fellas' crisis-management approach of taking a nap in the middle of the day instead of trying to find help is utterly mind-boggling. And, for our purposes, pure effing genius. Today our stalled couple (cough!) find their travels further complicated by a run-in with one of the many packs of wandering, feral fratboys that plague the woods surrounding Oakdale. Is it just me or is this whole thing turning into a fractured fairy tale from the OnStar company? What happens when the fratboys learn that the boys are a couple? Well, they call them "faggots", of course! But it's what happens next that has us interested ... Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out! And away we nap... 2:57PM EST: Preview Time! Nothing. BUT ... After the preview Jake and Van do a very nice little PSA for CBS Cares about hate crimes. Which, of course, is sadly timely in a way that the show could never had planned. Van: "Intolerance, bigotry and hate can lead to violent and often deadly consequences." Jake: "Practice - and teach - acceptance, kindness and understanding." I like that they say "acceptance, kindness and understanding" over "tolerance", which always feels backhanded to me. And I love that it's the actors appearing side-by-side as themselves. But I still want their characters to stop acting like old maids! 2:47PM EST: Noah tells Luke that he doesn't remember much because he blacked out. He asks Luke if he was scared and says that he was afraid he was going to lose him: "Not a chance". Lily has the best unironic line of the day: "We almost lost our son ... AGAIN!" Ameera goes in to see them and the dayplayer nurse asks if he is her boyfriend. (What, does she think Luke is a stuffed animal?!) Ameera says, "No. He's my brother." Luke looks at her with apparent warmth and we wait to see if his expression will change to reveal if he finds this a bit creepy or revealing, but he doesn't crack. What, did she mean "brother" like Undercover Brother? Lily and Holden discuss the Aberzombies, who were apparently college students whose blood alcohol levels were far over the legal limit. Ameera tells Noah she hopes she didn't make him feel uncomfortable by saying that and he says that you don't have to have the same parents to be siblings. Uh ... well, maybe in Oakdale. Noah says that Luke was the brave one and he stays at his side and tells him that his grandma is going to spoil him rotten. Lily tells Holden that she is worried every time Luke and Noah leave the house. Well good thing for her that only happens every few weeks or so! 2:43PM EST: Meanwhile, Cafe Vienna is making out with Gray in the back of a limo. Just to keep tabs, that's her second love scene in one day, with two different men. Oh wait, third - flashback to another sex scene with Henry in the back of the limo. Meanwhile, Luke and Noah get beaten in the road. Just keeping score. The boys are at the hospital, where Noah is being looked at. He has no broken bones but might have a concussion. The lad doctor tells Luke that he's been asking for him and he goes in to see him. Ameera looks through the window at them and tells Lily that she was more concerned for the boys than herself. Holden goes to give a statement and Lily says that these guys need to be punished for hurting innocent people. Inside, Noah tells Luke that he feels better now that he's here. It looks like he got hit by the same Toaster Strudel that got Luke a few months back. Damn those deliciously messy breakfast pastries! 2:35PM EST: Oh, did I mention that Lily and Holden are hot on the trail of finding the boys? No? That's because no one cares. The Aberzombie punches Luke and they stuff Ameera in the car. Part of me wants them to actually take her to spare us several more months of Flagrante Interruptus, but she really doesn't have it coming at this point. Luke, tapping into years of Dukes of Hazzard re-runs, tries to pull Ameera out of the car through the window. Because remember, she has a cell phone but doesn't know how to unlock a car door. Back in St. Olaf they all ride moose! Lily and Holden are wondering if maybe they took the wrong turn at Albequerque, when they spot the boys mid-Rumble. Luke has saved Ameera and has one of the Aberzombies pinned to the car and there is absolutely NOTHING sexually frustrated about the way that he's pinning the guy from behind. Nothing at all. Lily spazzes and asks if they hurt her son. Mother of the Year! (Meanwhile, one of her other kids is locked in an old refrigerator in a junkyard somewhere. Oops!) 2:30PM EST: Okay, I just watched The Rumble again, and when Luke is on the ground helping Noah if you didn't know any better you'd think they were re-enacting a home childbirth scene from Little House. And one of the Aberzombies got Luke good in the stomach before he went all Hulk on them, and they also said that they were more man than "these queers". 2:25PM EST: Austin From Days has the bright idea that Henry seduce Kit and then they can nail her for killing Sam. Henry chokes on his Cornnuts, yelping that he's not "nailing" anything. Nyuk nyuk. The Aberzombies punch Noah, and Luke jumps on them! One of them grabs a tire-iron and hits Noah in the back, and Luke drops to help him. Screaming Noah! Nurse Luke! The two guys yell "these two are faggots!" and say that they're taking "Miss Baghdad '08" off to the roadhouse or whatever. Luke charges one of the guys and starts beating the tar out of him! Go Luke! Take out all that sexual aggression! This is like Fight Club in rugby shirts... 2:21PM EST: Meanwhile, Gray woos Cafe Vienna by sending her a huge stack of cardboard boxes and two mismatched shoes. You romantic schemer, you! 2:17PM EST: Luke just kissed Noah on the forehead and on the nose after he woke up. But of course nothing below the mustache-line! A car passes and Luke and Noah run to flag it down, but the people in the car just drive off! But before getting too far the car backs up ... and then takes off again. What is this, a remake of Duel? Noah yells, "JERKS!" and the car coasts speeds after them, but Luke pushes Noah out of the way. Two Aberzombies kick beer cans out onto the road as they get out of the car and they call the guys "losers". Oh no! Ameera hides behind Luke and Noah and they guys offer to drive her to town alone after wondering aloud "how many Americans her relatives have killed" back in St. Olaf. Subtle as a sledgehammer to the stomach, folks! 2:10PM EST: Wow, there was just a five-minute for a collection of Christian Anthems called "I Can Only Imagine". Um ... I can only imagine what the eff the people who bought that ad space were thinking. 2:04PM EST: Luke wakes up what must be minutes later to find Noah and Ameera sleeping with their heads together like the Olsen twins. Noah rustles in his sleep and rolls over to lean on Luke instead, and Luke touchingly kisses him on the forehead several times. It's cute. Ameera looks on. Meanwhile, Holden and Lily realize that the gays of the Snyder Home for Wayward Gay Teens are missing and Lily finds a note from Luke saying that they went to visit Pervs. Lily says his bed hasn't been slept in. Oh, I get it! It's the next day! Maybe we should add a "Stuck in the Truck Clock" to go with the Liplock Clock on the main page... Meanwhile, Austin From Days tells The Blonde Obstacle that he "needs sexual healing" and Henry and Cafe Vienna are STILL in bed. And here my corneas had just healed... 1:59PM EST: Matt Winston! Who is married with two children and the son of Stan Winston, special effects legend. Learn something new every day! 1:58PM EST: OMG, while watching the tail-end of The Bold and the Botoxed I just saw a new Reddi-Whip commercial that features their new Reddi-Whip Man character ... isn't he played by the actor that played David's bitchy/blackmaily Gay Men's Chorus friend on Six Feet Under? The one with the dog that would spray poo if you made eye contact with it? I wonder if that helped him prepare for this gig. Submitted by on Thu, 2008-02-28 15:00. |
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Ameera - Ridiculous Storyline
This whole Ameera/Luke/Noah storyline is one of the most riduculous ones I have ever seen on ATWT or on any other soap. I mean even Reva coming back to life a few times over the past decades on Guiding Light isn't as bad as this one has become.
I thought the writers at ATWT were starting to finally get us to where NUKE would deepen their relationship. Then on Feb. 22 - WHAM - Ameera shows up and everything is sidetracked.
As a gay man I feel cheated and insulted. I feel we are being marginalized as a group. TPTB must think if they just divert the attention we will finally leave them alone and not keep up the "no-kissing, no-sex" NUKE campaign. All this thinking is going to do is upset the fans more and maybe even lose some. Definitely won't help P & G sell their products to all us gay men with that disposable income we are always told we have.
Today's storyline brought
Today's storyline brought to you by the company that can find incompetent writers for any occasion: DimWitted DorksRUs(ie. P & G with a little help of course from CBS)!
Complementary Concerge Service by IdiotWriters of America ~ Northeast USA Division!
"You bit the hand, Marty, You bit the hand!"
Granted, it's a soap, but this was just awful...
We're still seeing the stuff that was shot during the writers strike, aren't we? Didn't I read that soaps shoot 30 days out? I can only hope it gets better soon, because this is just such a high school drama production. Bad bloody-ketchup wounds, a concussion (when did the head blow happen? I checked the DVR, but still missed it) sadly choreographed fight scenes. And the forehead nose "kiss" qualifies as more of a nuzzle, not a kiss.
And even when the context was to demonize the bad guys here, I could have easily done without the use of "faggots" during daytime. Words don't generally offend me (straights can make their own jokes around me without offense as long as the context is not negative, and I'll make mine right back), but it was just an unnecessary use of an ugly word.
I keep thinking liveblogs, while hilarious, are only different than recaps if some of us post too, realtime. Anybody else think that?
Well, at least the show
Well, at least the show isn't going there with Amnesia!Noah, like I thought they would. I have to give the show that much.
But isn't it ironic that they have a PSA preaching about intolerance and bigotry...when they second-class the Luke and Noah characters themselves. Whatever CBS...if it helps you sleep at night and look yourselves over in the mirror each day, more power to you. I, for one, though, am not buying it.
You fight like a girl, honey, didn'
Lots of folks were live blogging a few epi's ago.
I've been writing alot on Nuke lately and I'm a little burnt out but that's isn't why I didn't live blog. I was still waiting for the big fight and all of a sudden Noah's in the hospital looking all cute. It was pathetic, the fight. Please, we can only blame
the woman who empties the wastepaper basketsthe scab writer for so much. She writes "fight scene ensues" in the script and she's done for the day. Where the hell was the director and the assistants, camera men and everybody else?First the frat thugs. I grew up in the city and my brothers always told me not to be afraid of boisterous, country jocks because they don't know how to fight. Is that what this story was suppose to be about? To let us know how they really felt, the Frats stepped back and said "Faggots", I swear I thought they were going to start Vogueing. Please, I've seen Butch Queens on a Ball Runway fight better than that.
The staging was laughable and I didn't believe those guys were a threat at all. Is it any wonder Nuke didn't put up a fight?
Poor Ameera doesn't know how to defend herself because she just came from a war zone where they, well pretty much, kick, hit, throw bottles full of flammables at you, shoot at you and try to blow you up on your way to the store.
And Noah can't really defend himself because he spent the last 18 years on an Army base where the only fun was wrestling with soldiers three times your size and fighting your dad with those things that look like big Q-tips.
So, They let Luke win the fight just to flaunt that there really are strong women on the show with an adult male like Holden ready to resue them?
I'm just guessing that the director cut out that part where Nuke used their secret weapon because they wanted to save that till last. (The scab wrote "they subdue the frat boys before Holden arrives by using their secret weapon") You know, like when they were in the hospital and they look at each other with that lovers longing, and my knees go weak and I start to sniffle -that secret weapon. As awful as this show continues to become, that gets me every time. Anyway, I still hope they get a chance to tie Ameera down on the sofa and fuck in front of her on the parlor rug and make her watch.
How on earth did those two
How on earth did those two frat boys (who I'd like to nickname Procter and Gamble) even know Luke and Noah are gay? It's not like Luke gave Noah a big wet healing kiss or anything. He just checked on him! That's not Obvious Gay Behavior even by Oakdale standards.
They should have seen the hot forehead kissing action earlier. And that scandalous nose kiss! That's getting dangerously close to an orifice.
OK, for all my sarcasm, that little bit of nuzzling was really sweet and far sexier than any of Vienna's three sex scenes. It did make me sad that Luke seemed to have been waiting for some time for Noah to finally scoot over to his side of the truck. God, Luke, just GRAB HIM AND HAVE YOUR WAY WITH HIM.
Punishment for PDA
The last time Luke and Noah kissed Colonel Mayor got mad and tried to kill Luke but only paralyzed him for several months. This was their punishment for being gay and kissing. Later when Luke and Noah stood up to Colonel mayer and had the courage to face him and call him a bigot for trying to kill Luke, a Major from the Army came on to correct them and remind them that Colonel Mayor is a hero even though he tried to kill Luke for being gay. You are not a hero for having gay pride, you are a hero even when you try to murder innocent civilians because they are gay and kiss your son.
On todays show, just before they were attacked, Luke kissed noah on the forehead and nose. It's a good thing he didn't kiss Noah on the mouth because either he or Noah may have ended up in a coma or paralyzed or lost a limb or some other ghastly punishment for being gay.
This story is being told in real time, and at a slow pace. Eventually Luke and Noah will have sex and consummate their homosexual sin and then they will be quickly murdered. P&GP are making too much money off of Luke and Noah to let them have sex and kill them right away, "with a pig that great you just don't eat him all at once."
I can only imagine
This is the lamest story line.
TimeLife with it's "I can only imagine" collection are major sponsors of Torchwood on BBC America!!!
I want to "Shout to the Lord" every time they come on that they are missing their target audience.
I thought that CD of
Glad that's over with
Glad we got that over with
Agree with Ed that there was no real need to use the f word. As HenryZ points out, just how / when did the frat boys realize Luke and Noah were gay? Now if the writers were doing their job it would have been easy enough to insert a line of dialogue that they all go to the same university and that Frat boys recognized Luke and Noah...but that would have been logical and made too much sense and in my opinion would still not be a good enough excuse for using the f word. Its almost as if they had to use it so that the writers could make the attack a hate crime and thus give a reason for the frat boys to be punished. Apparently attempting to kidnap a woman is not considered a serious crime in Oakdale.
Like Fansprez I'm surprised at how well Noah came out in the end. I was sure we were going to get a case of cracked ribs and thus no hugging for at least month.
Nukely, while I agree with the theory of punishment for PDA in the previous cases, I not sure that today's nuzzling being followed by an attack can count. However, what I did fear would happen did. I was afraid that it would seem that Luke and Noah provoked the attack, and Jake's yelling "jerks" did just that, thus making it the boys fault.
While the sentiment behind the PSA was fine, I just wish that I had more faith that the source (CBS) actually believed what they were saying. A special thank you for including it in the video clip update...this being Canada we cut to Canadian commericals and would not otherwise see it.
All in all not the greatest bit of daytime drama, but not as bad as I was fearing...and now we still have finding out what Col. Pervs wants to look forward to. Think they'll make another attempt at a visit?
Near Kiss, Near Miss
Nukely, while I agree with the theory of punishment for PDA in the previous cases, I not sure that today's nuzzling being followed by an attack can count. However, what I did fear would happen did. I was afraid that it would seem that Luke and Noah provoked the attack, and Jake's yelling "jerks" did just that, thus making it the boys fault.
Maybe I have overstated my case? I hope so for the sake of ATWT. I say that was at a bit more than nuzzling. I believe it was a level of affection that would cross the line with some viewers where a near kiss would not. I call it a kiss because since the kiss at WOAK there has only been a grandma peck, which makes this significant. I feel foolish debating if that was nuzzling or kissing.
A writer might suggest that if you want to connect two events, you make them happen in sequence and as close to each other as possible. Now we are assuming, of course, that there is a loving audience watching ATWT. But there's also a mean audience out there that P&GP wants to placate. One that hates gay people. They especially hate seeing two guys kissing. After these folks sit and watch Luke enjoy his disgusting kisses, the boys are beaten by thugs -an action which might seem like it's taking things too far in the mind of one bigot, perhaps be considered just deserts in the mind of another. I find it problematic and confusing at least.
But the fact remains, when the boys kiss something awful happens. And in some odd scale of punishment it seems that the type of and amount of kissing is comparable to the severity of the outcome. I would call that punishment.
If they had kissed like that two episodes earlier, I'd feel differently. If they kissed like that again at the hospital I would feel differently. If they hadn't kissed at all, I'd feel different! We all can see the chemistry between the characters, it's the only magic that the show has to offer. So, why not develop that? Why save it for the bashing?
P&GP are not making strides. They have focused on the 'high gay drama' of the story: coming out, parental acceptance, risky sex, gay bashing. This is anything but a gay romance, or any kind of romance. The few romantic moments are powerful but also written as half hearted attempts at real passion. That power seems to come from the actors. It's a mistake to believe that the producers are making a romance story. They seem to be running from it at every chance. Except when they need to prove a dramatic issue, like gay bashing, then they parade the boys out and allow them a tiny kiss. When they need to prove their love and devotion, they set them down in a coffee shop to look moony eyed at each other. That isn't even close to the other couples nor is it a fair representation. The idea of a romantic gay couple may be ground breaking for day time television, but the execution of this story is exploitation none the less.
That is my problem with this story. I don't accept exploitation as being progressive, sure it's entertaining, parts of it enlightening as well. But fair and progressive? No way.
Now that's likely...
And the show opens with the most unrealistic, unlikely scene ever---Henry is in bed with a woman. Hahahaha---I am just never going to think that Henry is straight, I'm afraid!
Groan.... this episode was just awful, and I'm used to truly terrible soap episodes, back from watching DOOL all those years ago. Absolutely no point to any of it. I thought it totally unnecessary to portray a very badly staged, poorly written, nonsensical hate crime just to make a point. (The use of "the f word" was completely unnecessary here, too, I thought.) I mean, if the writers wanted to show that the boys are facing discrimination, there are so many other ways it could have been done that would have made a heck of a lot more sense, than this ridiculous road trip.
I got a sudden little thrill when Ameera said of Noah "He is my brother"---whoa, no incredibly stupid green-card wedding in the future! But, oh, she was speaking metaphorically... what a let-down....
Only good bit in this episode was Luke's nuzzling in the car, which was very sweet. And I'm more than willing to let it pass, this time, that he and Noah didn't lock lips because it is unlikely they would have done that (in "real life," even) with Ameera just two feet away. Also, the shared looks of adoration between the two boys while in the hospital were so cute---but it was not worth watching this storyline, just to get to that point. Sigh.
I'm like a superhero, with no powers or motivation...
I thought I was the only one
Other things...
Henry's fake tan is out of control. It was like he rolled around in Brad's Doritos or something.
In the preview for tomorrow, it looks like Gray is kissing Matt on the cheek. I'm sure he's just whispering in his ear, but still. It piqued my interest.
I really want to know what Ameera meant by brother. If she means it in the genetic sense, then I won't waste my time dreading an incestuous love affair. This ain't Passions, after all. But if she means it in the metaphoric sense... ugh. She kept giving the guys weird looks but I couldn't tell if she was envious, uncomfortable, or just gassy.
My vote...
I must be easier to please
I like the kiss on the head in the truck. I like the romance and affection. I don't need to see them lying in bed to buy into the relationship.
The frat boys were drunk. Drunk bigoted frat boys throw 'faggot' around in every fight. It's not a stretch even if Noah and Luke didn't do anything overt. I was glad to Luke got some good punches in after his wheel chair bound story arc. Noah's not amnesiac or with life-altering injuries of the month. That's another good sign.
No one should be surprised Ameera said, "He's my brother." To me, that's been telegraphed since day one. She could even be able to stay in the US if the Col can be proven her father. Her storyline has been lamer than a bird with a broken wing.
I wince for Jake and Van having to play this crud. They need something better to do. My fear is that, in the soap world, that often means trouble for the couple.
As for OnStar...
"Wisconsin style"
Funneeeeeee
NEW Boston Globe article!!!
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2008/...n_again/?page=1
In the article
"This time, Sharp said, group leaders had a phone conference with Procter & Gamble officials, and asked members to contact the company.
"Our request to them was to do away with the homosexual characters," Sharp said. "Your writers can come up with good story lines that the general public would watch and not be offended by.""
Meaning of course...
By which they doubtless mean tales of (heterosexual) adultery, promiscuity and of course murder.
I always love the irony. It was like when Nevada banned same-sex marriage because of "moral values".
These holier-than-thou groups...
...should be publicly taken to task for their hypocritical stances and bullying tactics. Too bad there isn't a Smoking Gun or TMZ type organization to reveal these moralistic phonies for who they are every time they pull this crap.
What are soap operas without the adultery, murder, casual sex, and promiscuity? Until Nuke came along, the last time I really watched soaps for even a few days at a time was during the early '80s when Meg Ryan was on ATWT. I casually watched a few eps of ATWT, Days of Our Lives, Another World and Y&R during school vacation times. The running joke for me was I could easily pick up the storylines during the next extended school break, except the characters would just be sleeping with different people.
Even though we gripe about the way the show handles Nuke (and rightfully so), their storyline and relationship is more chaste and full of "moral values" than probably anything seen on soaps in decades. Anyone (from disgruntled viewers to these morality fascists) who decries the Nuke storyline for being "morally offensive" but offers nary an objectionable peep concerning the other 99% of soapdom's product line, deserves the deepest scorn and ridicule.
Fix the Link
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2008/...n_again/?page=1
In the article
"This time, Sharp said, group leaders had a phone conference with Procter & Gamble officials, and asked members to contact the company.
"Our request to them was to do away with the homosexual characters," Sharp said. "Your writers can come up with good story lines that the general public would watch and not be offended by.""
From the Boston Globe
But for the show's producers, the Luke and Noah love story has proved to be sensitive terrain. "We're trying to make a show that appeals to our entire audience," said Jeannie Tharrington, a spokeswoman for Procter & Gamble Productions, which produces the 52-year-old CBS series - and has been fielding complaints and kudos from all sides since Luke and Noah first appeared.
The recent changes, she said, have come "because of some of the feedback that we've gotten, and because of what we thought was best for the show creatively."
So now we know the producers have changed the Nuke storyline to suit the AFA.