Liveblogging "Make Me a Supermodel" (1.10): "Charity" ain't just a hooker with a heart of gold

Yes, that's right: Dan is off again frolicking in warm climes so I'm stuck here in Brooklyn on my couch charting the progress of the remaining contestants on Make Me a Supergay Supermodel.

This week, in a last-ditch effort to humanize the models after having de-humanized them for the past 10 weeks, Nikki and Tyson take the kids down to New Orleans to build houses for hurricane victims, and learn that "misfortune" isn't a pageant winner.

Will these superpowered models-in-training be able to do the work that FEMA couldn't with the sheer force of their perfect cheekbones? And more, importantly, will gay contestant Ronnie Kroell survive the elimination and make it to the Big Easy?

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens...

Let's get spooky!

10:58PM EDT: Shannon is up for the vote ...

And so is Ronnie. Yes, for the 4th time. It's Ronnie against Shannon! Start calling! 

Call 1-866-492-6802 or text 2 to 5155! or vote online!

10:55PM EDT: Holly and Ben are the top two, and Holly wins (again!). She and her 30-pound wig strut their stuff off stage.

Okay, what is up with this bra ad about "concealing petals for complete modesty"? What, women aren't allowed to have nipples anymore?! How are they going to sell tabloids? "Concealing Petal-Slip" just doesn't have the same ring.

10:53PM EDT: Nikki - ever the Ronnie-lover - thinks that Shannon brought Ronnie down in the photoshoot. And Evil Stepsister #2 thinks that Shannon was "classless" for saying that Ronnie was being insincere during the judging. Actually, they're all coming down on Shannon, but come on - tell me that the producers didn't tell them to just to shake things up. 

10:50PM EDT: Ronnie's catwalk and photo weren't liked by the judges. But Shannon's were even less popular. Ooh - and Ronnie just threw her under a bus! Shannon thinks he's lying about the photoshoot to please the judges, but to his credit, he did say the same thing at the shoot. He then pushes it and says that she's sitting pretty and always answers her criticism with questions. Damn, Ronnie! Claws in!

10:46PM EDT: Wow - I don't know if anyone else is in the New York area, but they just ran the HOTTEST ad for some Tanger Outlet Mall. Zebra print?! In 2008?! It was like a Duran Duran album cover come to terrible, beautiful life.

Speaking of which ... catwalk time!

The Ghashleycrumb tinies come out in all black, with candleabras and everything. Shannon says there's supposed to be "a fluid motion" and feel complete. The men have blacked-out eyes. Holly stumbles out with a skull and Shannon leads her back to the backstage. Then Ronnie has the skull, then Perry. Lots of "crazy-eyes!". The whole thing feels like a community theatre production of Sweeney Todd - I'm just waiting for Frankie to reappear and slit their throats. 

Ben says that he brought it up this week because he was tired of "being in the bottom so much". I know I shouldn't laugh at that. Evil Stepsister #2 thinks that his stiffness worked to his advantage, for once. 

10:39PM EDT: Holly pulls some kind of Appalachian witch stuff by inscribing some voodoo thing on the plywood of the house. Please tell me they called in an exorcist to bless the house when they were done. The models also buy the owner a chaise lounge to go with her new home, and the lady's really sweet and deserves it.

The models get home and are told that they have to choreograph their own dark runway show amongst themselves. Shannon comes up with the idea and then everything falls apart. Shannon wants everyone to try to kill one another and the babysitter they have looking on them thinks she's a diva and that it's too campy.

He says "it's the kind of show you'd see in a supermarket." Um, where is HE shopping? At my supermarket, the only show is when the stockboys have to bend over to pick up a crate of cereal or someone beats their kid for trying to sneak Teddy Grahams into the cart.

10:34PM EDT: The next day, the hungover models-to-be are taken to a Habitat for Humanity job site to help a Katrina victim rebuild her home. Um, I'm all good with the charity and everything, but do they really want these people responsible for the structural integrity of their home?

Ronnie makes a comment that these power tools aren't like the ones he has in his bedroom. Gentlemen, start your Ronnie/Terminator slashfic NOW! 

10:27PM EDT: The photographer thinks Ronnie is "too pretty" for such a dark shoot. Ronnie, meanwhile, isn't impressed with Shannon this week, and remarks several times that she appears "lifeless", which is pretty harsh criticism of someone who's pretending to be a corpse.

So how did Holly get off easy by being styled as Debbie Harry? 

They go out to dinner, and Perry is not all about turtle soup. Oh, he has a turtle named Clark at home. Holly thinks this is funny, and adds that they kill squirrels at her house and make squirrel gravy. Remind me to have my mashed taters dry when I visit.

Then the models go out and get drunk. 

10:22PM EDT: The models wheel up to a graveyard and are told this is where the photoshoot will be. And not only will they be done up like The Ghashleycrumb Tinies, but Nikki comes from around the nearest crypt with a crow named Dennis, who Nikki tells them "just came off a movie with Meryl Streep." Seriously, these people amaze me. And who names a crow "Dennis"? Shouldn't it be Malchizadek or something?

Ben has to pose with Dennis and the crow pecks at his eye. See? Birds can sense evil! 

10:18PM EDT: They models wheel up to their hotel, which looks like what would happen if the Golden Girls opened a whorehouse (no, Golden Palace doesn't count).

There's only one single ben, and Perry claims it, but Prison Ben doesn't look crushed to be sleeping with Ronnie. Then Perry tells the cameras that Ben begged to sleep with Ronnie, and Ben pops into shot and says "he's lyin'" and smacks Perry in the junk, which keeps him on the floor for a few minutes. Can't say I haven't been hoping someone would do that for several months now. 

10:13PM EDT: When Perry tells Ben and Ronnie that his woman is stepping out with BritBrit's armcandy (perhaps that's too kind a word ... he is truly the Necco Wafers of mancandy, or those peanut butter things you get when trick-or-treating), Ronnie actually seems delighted.

Perry walks out of the room and shouts "WHORE!" Atta boy. Stay classy. 

10:09PM EDT: Back at Model Manor, the remainders seem to be in agreement that Casey should probably go. Perry is upset that he's now alone in a room with no one to talk to (except for all the camera guys, of course). 

Holly points out that they don't like each other and that it's totally Girls Against Boys. She thinks Ronnie is getting mean, and Shannon agrees that you don't have to be mean to be competitive. Can someone spike their food with E coli again? 

Tyson and Nikki come over and tell the models that they're going to N'Awlans and that they'll have a photo shoot there. They also tell them that there will only be two models up for the vote this week.

We move into the mano-y-mano between Tyson and Perry regarding his girlfriend, who has somehow managed to out-reality-whore him by getting snapped with Britney's pap boyfriend. 

Perry gets all CSI and identifies the house in the tabloid photo as his own. Tyson for some reason tries to argue with him, but Perry's convinced. Tyson regroups and basically tells him to get back at the chick by becoming famous. Hey, if all else fails, get photographed with a celebuwhore!  

10:05PM EDT: And Casey is going home. Don't worry, kid - there's a Soul Asylum coverband in need of a Dave Pirner somewhere.

Evil Stepsister #2 tells Ben that he thinks America was wrong and that he should have gone home. Oops! 

10:03PM EDT: Ronnie is safe! Well, that's done... 

9:55PM EDT: Okay, so I already know I can liveblog with a drink in my hand (please, do you think I can make it through this show without something to numb the pain?), but can I also handle the emotionally needy cat in my lap determined to eat all the buttons on my shirt? Please send all complaints about spelling to Humbert.

So who do you think is going?